Fertility and termination

[Lookingforanswers77]

I’m in an unusual situation in that I’ve only recently discovered I had endometriosis and this was from a termination a couple of years ago. It was medical and early but I ended up with complications and from this have discovered I have this condition. It’s now fairly severe with DIE and a large cyst. I feel really concerned that I’ve lost my one chance of ever having children, although the reasons behind the decision at the time were good. I’m also single and frightened about my fertility as Google is not my friend here when researching this stage. I am probably getting surgery to remove the endometriomas but I am wondering if I will ever be able to have kids and feel I don’t have a lot of time now (I’m nearly 33)

[MalachiteAli]

Hi. I think you need to speak to a health professional about this as everyone is different. The fact that you were pregnant is a sign that you are able to conceive and retain a pregnancy - good signs. You are still fairly young in terms of your fertility, maybe not in your 20s, but not in your 40s either. I am 43. I have two children (one I had at 25 and one at 35), had two medical terminations (one I had at 19 and one at 36) and a number of miscarriages before I was diagnosed with endometriosis (at 41) following elective laparoscopic sterilisation. I know lots of women with endometriosis struggle with fertility and I don't want to offer you false hope or downplay those struggles, but just to tell you my experience. I struggle with parenting now that I'm experiencing a lot of endo pain and appreciate the support of my partner. My first child's dad was abusive so I was a single parent first time around which was really hard but not impossible and still enjoyable despite not having family support. I'm not sure I could do it now though because of my pain levels. One of my close friends had her two children despite having fibroids/PCOS at 40 and 41 and another has just had her first child at 36 despite having endo and ME. I know that's anecdotal and endo is linked to lower fertility, but I hope that is helpful in some way and that you can get some good advice on this.

[Lookingforanswers77 in reply to MalachiteAli]

Thanks Malachite, that's really useful to know. I will be getting surgery and think after that I will know more. I have very large cyst and then signs of deep infiltrating endo elsewhere, but it's really good to hear from someone who has gone on to have kids. I think it's partly that I'm single and found the termination difficult, and so finding this out has felt harder. But really good to know people in late 30s/early 40s can have healthy pregnancies with endo.

[Faith103]

Did you say your abortion has caused your endometriosis. I had a medical abortion when I was 19 and since then my periods got so bad and I’ve got stage 4 endometriosis. Before I had my abortion I had no pain what so ever so I always did think it was the abortion. Why do they say the abortion causes the endo? I’m so mad at myself. Like you it was right at the time but all the trouble I’ve had over the last 15 years because of it xxx

[Lookingforanswers77]

I am really sorry to hear that you've had stage 4 and struggled with pain. Have you spoken to a doctor about this? I really don't think that there is any medical link between termination and endo - a doctor told me that the termination was a 'red herring' in that it led to discovery of endometriosis but was unrelated. I think as women we can sometimes feel a lot of guilt or feel like because we've had an abortion subsequent fertility issues or pain are 'our fault', but no, I really don't think they are linked. In fact, whilst I found that experience quite emotionally difficult, in some ways it was kind of a blessing in disguise, in that I never had any pain and had no idea I had this, and a scan following infection revealed a v large chocolate cyst and signs of endo elsewhere. I hope that with surgery, healthy diet and monitoring this will actually mean I am in a better position if I do want to plan a family in future than had I gone on not knowing - that's how I try to think of it anyway.

[Dee_EndoUK Moderator Endometriosis UK]

Hi Lookingforanswers77

It's so easy to look at worst case scenarios, but there are plenty of reasons for you to feel positive. Although you have endometriosis, you were able to fall pregnant, which is incredibly reassuring.

We have a document on our website about endometriosis, fertility and pregnancy which you may want to look at - this can be found at endometriosis-uk.org/endome...

Everyone's journey is different - I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis when I was struggling to conceive and, following surgery for endometriosis, I went through a successful round of IVF (my son is now 12). Several years later (following a couple of unsuccessful rounds of IVF, and surgery to remove an ovarian cyst), I fell pregnant naturally at age 37. My daughter is now 6.

The best thing you can do at this moment is to make sure you're looking after your physical and mental health by eating well and managing stress. Oh yes, and to stop consulting with Dr Google! 😀 Take care x