Help!!! Endometriosis worst

[nikkimatt2019]

I'm getting even angry and frustrated with this all now!!! Was ment to have a phone call back nothing I've rang them again today they are so called ment to ring me bk in 3_4 hours time!!! My rage and mood is literally everywhere I've not experienced this before I'm tired of all this. I've been waiting for many years before convid. I have bipolar many more illnesses. My endometriosis has got worst I know it new symptoms I've been getting server pain down legs backs more pain bowels alot worster pain! Pain! Pain! Suffer! Suffer!suffer! Why do they leave u? Why do they allow u to suffer? Why are they keeping all this quite? Then again more damage to ever womens bodys I feel like breaking down. I've asked for more scans while waiting for keyhole surgery as I know it has gotten worst but they hacent done nothing keep brushing it under the carpet like its nothing!!!! This pain is really bad. I cant even walk down shops without constantly in pain 🤬😭 I'm tired of this all. Why are they allowing are bodies to constantly suffer? Why are they allowing all this to happen? Why haven't they searched for real treatment? Yet they get paid for they job doing nothing or matter fact favourite in others. Now I've been told the 4 months I've had to also wait for keyhole is a following up before the surgery more waiting!😭💔. I fricking hate all this all my rage anger and tears been holding in for a very long time now it's like the demons is coming out and showing very more to point its uncontrollable. I've never been this bad it's been controlled before. Now its moods I've never seen before. I'm gonna see if they can give me my bipolar tablets again. Hope they can sort this out without damaging more of my body because of them my bodys been so damaged I cant have children!!!!😭💔 my body is so damaged to point it feels like I have nothing left. I'm ugly no one will ever understand anything. I've been through hell and back abuse and so on in past. And the whole me I survived all this time for gp and hospital to damage my body more to point t the more they leave everyone situations its gonna be to late because of them. Makes me think if alot patients that's died is because of them not doing there jobs properly!!! I know al this because my adoptive nana used to be a nurse!!! So girls just angry and stressed because of all this. No one understands me😭💔🤬

[Ronsk]

Hi, I used to get so angry too I actually started shouting and crying into my consultants face to do something to help me and telling them that it's their fault for not doing enough. The frustration really takes over. I had a scan the other day and my sexual organs are difficult to determine from one another or they can't find them because of the endo and cysts. I was shocked. To try ivf again will cost around 6000 , I dont have that, how they expect anyone to have that kind of money is beyond me. I've had 5 shots already but all ended in mc . I totally feel your pain. My partner said I get so angry at times he has to leave the house , he thinks I need to release my anger by smashing everything in my living room up with a baseball bat lol. Sounds good to me but I like my living room the way it is. I'm 39 now and at the stage of acceptance that it's not going to happen for me but it's been very difficult to get to this stage. Take care x

[nikkimatt2019 in reply to Ronsk]

Hi I'm so so sorry to hear that. That was like me I had consultant saying I was fat before or that I needed the pills and I've lost weight and been on pills before didnt make a difference I ripped into them then women walked out because my legs was shaking so much to point I was so angry because all this time it's there fault because the way my body have been left and damaged. They dont understand anything. It's like my bipolar and many other mental health I have they wont give me my bipolar tablets again. My moods is unbearable I hate this and hate feeling like this I hate all the pain. I just feel so low to point I cant cope no more. I fight and fight goibg backs and forth to gp and all they do is waist my time dosing me up with painkillers that dont work gave me sachets to help me poo even tho it ain't to do with that and it's even more painful. Theres just so much but again i get left or brushed under the carpet like i ain't nothing. Things ain't going well with my life right now and sometimes it ain't going well with ny partner either. I'm just nothing barred a broken object that's damaged and been through alot. No one ever seems to wanna be there for me or support me I'm just nothing just worthless damaged person. Thank u for taking time to message me tho much appreciated. X

[nikkimatt2019 in reply to Ronsk]

I'm so sorry also about u cant have children. Its same with me I cant have children. They damaged my body so much its gone I cant even carry children. I think they should do ivf to people with endometriosis for free because it was there fault are bodies has ended up in this situation and damaged. They should cover the cost for that. But they wont because they are selfish. I dont blame u haha when u have a lovley house and good u rather it be in 1 peice then smash it 🤣. Me and my partner female dog and my female cat is attached to me they usually help me calm down. I get stressed at little things even big things frustrating most the time. X