Im feeling deflated & depressed - in need of letting off steam

[Lady1978]

So today i had my appointment with the endometriosis specialist, not sure why im deflated and depressed as what they said i already knew but

First thing he said to me was “theres no way id operate on u unless your BMI is under 35 so u do ur bit and we will do ours”

This is where the poor me’s come in… im an independent parent with an autistic child, inwork full time and my social life is my child. Over the last few yrs i have put weight on, unfortunately its risen n risen my BMi is 42 soo technically i need to loose 10 stone to get to my weight for my height.

The specialist said to me “if we operate it would be a full hysterectomy and atleast its not cancerous soo you can have a nice day”

OMG too much for my depressive head to take on board, im in such a circle atm

Im no further forward with regards to were im going he said i need another MRI as theres no mention in latest mri if i still have 10cm ovarian cyst

Ive left feeling completely fat shamed and havent stopped getting upset since, ive struggled with my weight for the last 5/10yrs and i am such an active person but im still overweight

Im thinking ive suffered this length of time with the pain shall i just carry on suffering

He did ask me to take a pic of my written scan report which i thought was good of him but ive since read “ i assume the patient will not be seeking further pregnancies as this would have a dangerous impact on patient with what appears to be thin wall scaring coming from caesarean section”

Wow lots going on in my head

I dont have a question as such other than aaarrrrggfgfhhhh

[jodiefoster1977]

Hi Lady1978

First of all I am so sorry to hear you’re going through this, and even more so as a single parent!

It sounds like the specialist you spoke to is highly insensitive. I am angry for you that they were so focused on your weight. I also think BMI is such a terrible way of assessing someone’s health. It’s completely out-dated for a start. And just remember every body has their own individual optimum weight that their body functions best at.

It may also be an underlying health issue if you’re still active and have a healthy diet, have you been tested for under active thyroid? Or diabeties? Because they could be contributing factors which aren’t your fault!!!

My advice would be do not give up!! You deserve answers and treatment for the pain you are in, not some ignorant man who doesn’t even have a vagina to be so insensitive!!

I would even go as far as suggesting a change in specialist. If there is another specialist in the local area to you in a different hospital I would ask your GP to refer you to them instead because the person who is dealing with your case now seems like a d**k. OR if you have a follow up appointment with this guy in the near future write a list of questions/things you want to discuss and do not let him off the phone until you mentoo I n everything on your list. This man is paid a 5 (more likely 6) figure salary, so I would make sure you get as much information about your situation as you can, it’s your body after all, he’s just there to help you understand it better!

I hope my message has helped even just a little tiny bit.

❤️

[Lady1978 in reply to jodiefoster1977]

Thank you for your kind reply

Im just feeling low suppose im mad at myself and its easier to be mad with the specialist

Im going to see my own GP tmw as now i fee like i have lots of mountains to climb

Your words do help and i appreciate the time uv taken to reply

Im glad this forum is anonymous as i just cant tell anybody what all was said

❤️❤️