"Focus" has left the room. How to get it back?

Hi! I just agreed with my consultant a couple of days ago that I'll have a "full pelvic clearance" surgery for endometriosis.

I was pretty much obsessively worried about Endo before the appointment, and if anything could be done for me, and what that might be.

And now that I have an answer, I just can't focus for more than a few minutes!

I'm excited - they told me this surgery has a statistical success rate of 95 percent for resolving pain! Wow!

I'm scared silly - it's major surgery including a hysterectomy and removal of ovaries (with endometrioma) & fallopian tube (dilated, perhaps with Endo), as well as taking the appendix (Endo on that too) and Endo lesions, and a bowel shave for adhesions. That's going to hurt when I wake up after surgery.

I'm mildly disturbed that I'm not afraid to say good bye to my womb. It's been part of me all of my life, but I've always secretly wanted to adopt instead of having a pregnancy myself. I've always had this funny feeling that the world might already be overpopulated, but at the same time, there are little children who need loving homes. I realise this isn't a normal way to think about things, but that's just my own quirky view.... And maybe foreshadowing for me that I would struggle with infertility anyhow. I almost feel as though I should feel guilty that I don't feel grief at the prospect of losing my (extremely low probability) female power of reproduction.

So, yeah, I'm scared and excited and can't concentrate. I feel like I want to over-share my big news that I'll eventually have surgery with anyone who comes within earshot.

Any suggestions on how to concentrate? 😁

[Bespp]

Hi June, can I ask what would you like to get focus on?Is it the fact that you are saying goodbye to your old self in a form of surgery? That finally you are breaking that bond we have all created with endo which despite all the hassle it gives us all is still part of us and we have learned to accept and live with it.

A bond is a bond and is hard to break it. It is painful to hear the surgeon use the wrong words of "clearance" i wish he would have said he would help you break this toxic bond with endo, and will help you rebuild the bond with yourself, help you continue to live your fuller life, help you avoid pain in the future so you can focus on your adoption process, help you have more energy for you.

Sometimes we need the right word to express what is being felt at that moment and sometimes it takes more that one word.

Enjoy the non focus part, your brain is working in override to protect you by not concentrating. Show gratitude with a cup of tea in hand, a warm bath and some self love.

Well done for being where you are. There is no else where to be not in the past not in the future.

Get those tears rolling and feel your emotions. They are there to protect you.

Big virtual hug! B

[Hidden in reply to Bespp]

What would I like to focus on?Well... It would be nice if I could somehow clear my mind and concentrate on my computer work.

I'm just so distracted. I sit down to work, start doing work, and then my mind wanders back to the hope-inspiring, exciting, yet scary prospect of surgery.

I'm just full of emotions.

😃😃😃😱😳😱😃😃😃

I have at least two months (probably more) before I would have surgery anyway, so hopefully, I'll calm down soon.

[CryBaby91]

No suggestions sadly, but I wanted to say congratulations on getting some good news (how do we all consider surgery good news lol but yeah, you know what I mean!). That and say that it's not strange to not want children, and I think it's wonderful you want to adopt 🥰 xxx

[Hidden in reply to CryBaby91]

Thank you! 🙂Yeah, it is pretty funny that we end up considering surgery good news. 😆 It's a big milestone after hard decisions.

[AllthatGlitters]

Hi June no wonder you are full of emotions, this is a big operation. If you are anything like me I see it as getting my life back and feel excited at the prospect of it. I always find as the surgery date gets nearer, that is all I can think about. Maybe put nice mindfulness music on, it’s great for relaxing and it makes me fall asleep. X

[Hidden in reply to AllthatGlitters]

Thanks, that's a good idea. I might be able to find some background music to listen to. I'll try it.

💚🙏💚

[635703]

I am so excited for you too June. What are you doing to prepare? Mentally and practically and physically?

Hoping this is me and how soon is your big day?

Sounds like I might get the same/similar.....following with interest and so pleased for you ☺️

Waiting for MRI date.

[Hidden in reply to 635703]

Hi Six,Yes, from the parts of your story you've shared so far, it's looking pretty similar for both you and I in the plans!

I'm waiting to find out what my date for surgery will be. I'm hoping that after two or three weeks, they'll be able to tell me when it can happen. I'm guestimating it might be between August and December this year.

The consultant said that it would be best to choose a surgery date that gives me 3 months on the decapeptyl injections beforehand. He said that should be enough time to shrink the endometriosis so that it's easier to remove by surgery.

I've checked with my husband, and he's offered to take me to and from the hospital for the procedure.

I've spoken to my boss and HR at work to let them know that I'll have surgery for endometriosis coming up so that they have a very rough idea about staff resource planning. They've been very kind to me, and seem genuinely happy that I have a plan to try to get better - even though I know it will be an inconvenience for work. I've told them that I'll share my surgery date as soon as I have it.

As a side note... amazingly, my boss & HR have not been "grossed-out" by the word "endometriosis". I didn't explain it to them, I just sent them a link to the endometriosis UK page so that they could see the cartoon of the uterus with the endo in all the wrong places in the pelvis. I don't know if they clicked the link or not though.

Other than that... I bought a lot of peppermint tea. Hahaha! As though peppermint tea is going to save me. Well, maybe it will save me from the most painful wind experience after surgery

But you're so right -it's worth thinking about what to do to plan ahead. Your idea of preparing mentally, practically, and physically is brilliant. I'm not sure yet.

What about you? Do you have any bright ideas about how to prepare?

[635703 in reply to Hidden]

I thought I might make some meals and put them in the freezer. Make a snack box. Get some shows to watch and a craft project.

Buy a new dressing gown. I have bought two T-shirt type nighties and new slide on sippers.

I will be recovering T my Partners house in my Step-Son’s room and my tv will go in there, so I can sleep any day anytime in peace.

Need to plan loose fitting clothes as might not have much.

Any tips welcomed. No surgery date and no MRI or second opinion date yet.

What’s the supplement you take for adhesions again please? X

[Hidden in reply to 635703]

The supplement that TennisAM told me about for adhesions is serrapeptase. I'm trying it just now.

[Moonglo]

That’s fantastic news! You must feel like you’ve won the lottery, no wonder you’re distracted! I’m sure things will calm down, but until then enjoy it!

And it’s not strange at all to want to address the overpopulation issue by offering a loving home to children who are already here. I feel the same way (in theory) but haven’t adopted because, well, I’m not very maternal 😆