Feeling Helpless

[kaxthleenx]

I got my first Lap on Wednesday and they did not find anything. My colon was swollen though so they suspected it was just constipation. The doctor talked with my parents while I was out and she told them that they need to do tough love on me and that the pain isn’t as pain as I was saying. She said I shouldn’t have been missing school and that they should have forced me to go. WHEN I CANT EVEN SIT FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES WITHOUT PAIN or BEING IN PAIN 24/7. She then took me off my meds that stops my period. I felt so upset that my doctor just totally blew me off. I started my period today (aka Saturday) and I am in complete agony. I am getting severe cramps, horrible rectal pain and it hurt to pee and so on. I literally had to lay down on my kitchen floor because it hurt so bad (my mom was yelling at me the whole time Bc the floor was dirty 😂). We are seeing the GI doctor for my colon problems but the pain I’m feeling is NOT just constipation Bc I have been severely constipated before and this is not the same. Since they found no endo my parents think no endo and refuse to even think of the idea. I feel like I’m so crazy stuck on the idea of endo but all my symptoms point to endo! I feel so alone rn and I just want this pain to end!! Also I can’t sit anymore because I get extreme hip and back pain and the doctor said that is not a symptom of endo so she went into the surgery not taking me seriously. I told my mom that I want to go to a pain clinic to see if that helps Bc she does not believe me on anything else. She says “they didn’t find endo so you don’t have endo”. I’ve heard people had to go through a couple of surgeries till the endo showed up. But now they are pressuring me to go back to school and finish my last week off but I keep trying to tell them no but they keep pushing. I already have all my finals figured out (talked to my teachers and I can take them at home). I am refusing to go back to school basically. I have things already figured out so what should the point... Am I crazy? Am I obsessed with this thought? Am I stupid? I am so depressed rn and I’m slowly giving up...I want this to end. I basically have given up on life. I’m so tired, I’m so weak. I just want it to end. I’m done...

[Violet159]

I'm sorry you're going through so much pain!! It's possible to have no endo found on surgery and still have it - I'm discussing diagnostic surgery at the moment and my doctor has warned me they might not find it even if it's there! And back and hip pain can be symptoms of it, they're not uncommon symptoms either! Don't give up - you're not crazy and if you're in that much pain you deserve an answer and the treatment you deserve. Bottom line is if you thought the pill was helping your pain they shouldn't have taken you off it unless there were actual medical reasons like bad side effects. Even if it's not endo if it helps it helps. It might be difficult particularly if your parents aren't supportive but try to push back and get the help and treatment you need, maybe even try changing doctors if you can. But whatever you do, don't give up - you'll get there eventually! Try to stay hopeful and good luck getting the help you deserve xx

[kaxthleenx in reply to Violet159]

Thank you for replying. I will talk to my parents about what you said and hopefully they’ll agree. Thank you for your support 💕

[Jcr87]

Feel for you

Keep strong

I have just been told no endo even though I was previously diagnosed with it xx

[kaxthleenx in reply to Jcr87]

I’m sorry you have to go through that 😢. Keep strong too 💕💕thank you for replying! But I’m happy someone can relate...but I hate how you have to go deal with it too

[kate24601]

Sorry you're going through this, I was in a similar situation and pushed for a lap against doctor's advice and none was found, I was gutted to have no answers to the daily pain! Because of it I chose to come off all pills and it's been over a year and the pains have come back worse, and I ended up paying to go private and being told that it's highly likely endo now it's had time to grow.

My best advice regarding school is work with your parents and agree to certain days or certain hours, as I was in your shoes and refused to go in for a whole month due to pain and the impact on my mental health, which immediately or my parents against me! Being in daily pain isn't normal no matter what anyone tries to tell you and while it's exhausting to keep pushing and keep fighting, it's well worth it to get answers x

[kaxthleenx]

Thank you💕 luckily my teachers have been VERY supportive and They have helped me with getting my work done at home🙌 So my parents are backing off. Do you think I should let the endo grow by not going back on the meds?

[Bubblepoppy]

Have they looked for adenomyosis this has almost every symptom as endometriosis except it's in the womb I have all the pains like you and I have adeno, I feel bad for you not having much support, keep fighting 😘 xx

[Mollya2401]

I can completely relate to this I’m still undiagnosed and my surgery is in 9 days, regarding school I was also on the same boat in January/February my pain got bad again and my contraception implant stopped working it impacted my mental health and I was refusing to go back to school. It wasn’t until around March I went to school and spoke to my guidance teacher and she talked me into coming back 3 days a week for the afternoon for my important subjects, I’m currently sitting my highers so I agreed it would be best to try and get the year over with so I could just leave after it as i have a college offer now too! I know there’s days you might not be able to but I advise if you are sittin any kind of exams please just try!! I didn’t think I could and some days I honestly couldn’t so I didn’t go but now I’m glad no matter what my results are on exams that I tried. I hope you keep fighting to try and find out what is wrong and good luck 💘