All in my head?

[Paulamar02]

I don’t know if this is all in my head but... When I have sex with my partner it is almost always sore and when it is afterwards for the rest of the day I feel totally drained and crap. Does anyone else get this? I don’t know if intercourse can flare up symptoms 🙈🙈

[Hannah0091]

Hey yes 100% used to all the time I’m a lot better now Iv had surgery. But I used to only be able to have sex at night because otherwise I’d be left bed bound 😵 it’s a really hard struggle and this sounds strange but my surgeon suggested it... dilation. You can buy dilators online and they really help me. The surgeon said when you experience so much pain in lower abdomen it causes tension and the vagina can close up cause more pain when it opens. (Makes sense) so it works for me anyway and now with that and surgery I feel a lot better with sex hope this helps x

[SarahMia227 in reply to Hannah0091]

Can I ask how long did you use the dilators for before you notice an improvement? Did you find penetration painful before you started using them? I've just started on mine but I'm finding it difficult

[Hannah0091 in reply to SarahMia227]

I used them for about 3 weeks everyday 10 mins at a time before I noticed a difference. Yes very painful and uncomfortable at first but I have 4 different sizes and started with the smallest first. I still use them now every day for 5 mins x

[princessk09]

Hey, yeah I used to get really bad pains during and after up to three days of cramping. It got better after surgery but it’s slowly starting to come back the pain. Certain positions hurt and others don’t, it’s kind of like trial and error. Also try and be as relaxed as possible, which is hard when we know it’s gonna hurt so we tense up which makes the pain worse xx

[dasprior]

It's not in your head! The day after is the worst!

[Paulamar02]

Thank you replying girls! So glad to hear it’s not only me. Appreciate all your suggestions too. X

[StefaniaJW]

Intercourse can absolutely cause flare ups, especially if your endometriosis involves the bowel, vagina, Douglas pouch or ovaries, but even if it involves other areas. If you are on birth control or even if you're not, it could be caused by lack of lubrication.

If you feel drained it could also be fatigue from the exercise. Many could be the contributing factors so I suggest you explain your situation more in detail (are you on birth control, how are you managing endo, have you undergone excision surgery in the past).

[Paulamar02 in reply to StefaniaJW]

I am waiting on my laparoscopy just now. Not on birth control just now as I was on the pill and it was really affecting my mental health. It was great at first. I am not really managing it at all rather just taking it as it comes and hoping it passes quickly. Sometimes I feel great and think I have been over reacting then it all hits me again and I realise it certainly isn’t all in my head. I’ll be glad when I have my laparoscopy.

[Paulamar02 in reply to Paulamar02]

Also I am pretty sure it is on my bowel. Have had bowel problems for many years now. No idea if it could be anywhere else

[StefaniaJW in reply to Paulamar02]

Have you ever had an MRI or transvaginal ultrasound done? It's very weird they haven't told you where it is exactly yet. When I was diagnosed with endo via ultrasound they also told me where it was. I hope the laparoscopy will be perfomed by a truly capable, experienced and well-trained excision specialist. Obviously if you haven't changed your diet nor lifestyle and don't take drugs, the pain will continue being as it is. In the meantime, I'd suggest you get your vitamin D checked if you haven't jet (if you're lacking it you can feel fatigue) and take other supplements that could help with the fatigue and immune/hormonal imbalances too (like vitamin B6, B9, B12, selenium, zinc, magnesium). Dietary changes can help immensely with bowel issues (no alcohol, processed foods, cured meats, added sugar, refined carbs, dairy. Lots of raw veggies, in-season fruit, fish, nuts, extra virgin olive oil, water and herbal teas. Grass-fed meat once a week and whole grains are ok too). Lots of sleep and adequate, moderate outdoor movement (e.g. 20-minute walk in the park everday) are great too.

I've seen lots of people suggest pelvic exercises and that's definitely something I'd suggest looking into. I would also ask my gynae if it could be vulvodynia.

Have you ever been tested for infections?

[Peebles2sarah]

Yes this happens to me! Due to endo and to retroverted uterus. Endo is also often related to vulvodynia and vaginismus. My symptoms improved after excision surgery but I have heard of women doing vaginal physical therapy.

[Paulamar02]

Oh I have never heard of vaginal physical therapy. I only recently made the connection with intercourse and feeling crappy afterwards. Like 2 days ago lol been suffering the symptoms a long time.

[hm89]

I would get a deep pain after and in my surgery, my ovary was freed from the adhesions sticking it to my pelvic wall. When I had sex, it was basically smacking my stick ovary. My surgeon said ‘if you punched me repeatedly in the gonads, I’d be in pain too ‘