Desperate for a baby - endometriosis

[Soph9320]

Hi I’m 25 and have just moved in with my boyfriend. I’m desperate for a baby and have been with him for three years. He says he will be ready in June. My pains are getting worse as I have endo. I’ve had two laparoscopies and 12 months of prostap injections which was horrendous. I became pregnant last year which he didn’t really want to know about and unfortunately I miscarried at 8 weeks. I don’t know what to say to him but I really want to start trying asap as I’m worried I won’t be able to conceive again after last time. He says he wants to get married also but there’s no sign of an engagement anytime soon. There is the option of a third laparoscopy or more prostap injections but I don’t want anymore treatment.

[XFLO]

Hi Sophie , please do not panic, you are just 25. I was diagnosed with endo at 25 (through laproscopy), I am married now. We do not have babies yet after trying for a year which is stressful. Getting married wont solve all your problems. However, I would ask you to not stress yourself at this age for a baby if your boyfriend is too young. Your first task is to follow a good and healthy diet for endometriosis specifically, find some natural remedy that will reduce the pain and stop your anxiety. Most doctors would not tell you about that. Just be confident that you will have your baby and take one step at a time. First have your diet corrected which will help you long- term , second talk to a doctor about your egg freezing possibility, third try to focus on your work and future and choose your life partner carefully before your jump into as decision of having a baby. Remember having a baby when your are mentally , physically and financially unprepared will aggravate your problem and not reduce them. That is the best I can offer you from years of experience and frustrations with my endometriosis. I have been in your situation it is tough, but your are not alone.

[Scho89]

Hi Soph,

I can’t offer much advice other than to say trying for a baby can be a very difficult and very stressful process and you are likely to need support. I have endo and me and my husband have been trying for over a year now. I also was pregnant a few months ago but sadly miscarried. We were told this time last year by my doctor that because I had endo, and PCOS, if we wanted children, we needed to get a move on (I’m 29 now). I completely understand where you’re coming from, but it doesn’t sound like your boyfriend is ready yet - given what this can involve, I’d suggest you need to speak to him and have a really honest conversation about how he’s feeling. This can put a strain on a relationship even when you’re both completely ready so you both need to be sure this is what you want. Good luck!

[StefaniaJW]

I'm sorry to tell you but if you've already had two laparoscopies by the age of 25, the surgeons who performed it were not good enough apparently. You need to seek only experienced endo excision surgeons and only get a laparoscopy with them.

I'm sorry your boyfriend is not on board with the baby thing. Endo already takes a big enough toll on a woman, infertility is such a major issue that comes with it, but the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to not to fixate on this too much. You need to honestly discuss your options with an experienced endo specialist and with your boyfriend and establish your next steps.

I wish you the best!