Does anyone else feel crazy/please excuse my rant

[Pinkyandthebrain]

I was diagnosed a couple of years ago and since then have been trying to learn more about endo which is how I ended up on this forum. Reading about other people’s experiences has been very comforting because for the first time ever I don’t feel like I’m alone or it’s all in my head.

These days I have some coping strategies in place for the pain but I am struggling with my mental health; does anyone else experience mood swings or depressive feelings and feel like it’s connected to hormones throughout the month? I am really struggling with feelings of anger and hopelessness, I feel like endometriosis is the cause of so many negative things in my life but there’s a feeling of shame and needing to keep it a secret so as not to make anyone else feel uncomfortable? I cry all the time in private and I don’t know why, does anyone else feel this huge sense of grief?? I’m in my mid thirties and feel like it’s less and less likely that I’ll be able to conceive, my husband feels no sense of urgency. I work in a very corporate/male dominated environment where presenting a professional face is important - sometimes I want to scream but I just cry at night or in the toilet.

This is my first proper post; sorry it’s not very articulate.

[Xroisinellenx]

Hi, I’m so glad you have found forum it helps so much knowing you r not alone.

Yep I completely understand what you mean about the mood swings, and the anger. I’m get angry at such little things then I feel like a complete cow then I always say sorry and say it’s because of pain and I feel like that’s just an excuse. It’s so hard because no1 can understand because sometimes we don’t even understand.

And I understand the feeling of not wanting to explain what endo actually is because no1 wants to hear or talk about periods it’s exhausting. I try to keep my tears to myself but this week I think I have cried nearly everyday 😂 Do you talk about it with your husband? What stage r you?

Hops this helps knowing that someone else feels like this. Xxx

[Pinkyandthebrain in reply to Xroisinellenx]

Thank you for replying to me, I think the worst part of this is how lonely it can feel sometimes?

I do talk about it with my husband, he worries about me and tries to understand but there’s a limit to how much he can really understand what I’m going through seeing as he will never have a period.

I feel a bit silly after that outburst yesterday, I think it was just a particularly bad day xx

[Pinkyandthebrain]

Thank you so much for replying to me, I think I was having a particularly low point yesterday morning but reading this has weirdly helped.

Im not on any birth control but I’ve not heard of PMDD so will definitely look into that!

I think like you, I just feel very angry at every gp from my past who said things like ‘ovulation is just painful for some women, take ibuprofen’ or ‘are you sure it’s not ibs’ even recently (since my diagnosis) a male gp told me that the pain was in my head - it turned out I had a uti?! I’m very lucky because I can afford to see a private counsellor and I do find it helpful to discuss there.

Anyway thank you again for your response, perhaps I can make some small steps into being more open and will take a hot water bottle to work x

[MID123]

I completely understand! I feel exactly the same a lot of the time. Studies have found that endometriosis is linked with depression. I’ve been seeing my doctor and getting support for my mental health.

I also personally feel that being open about it with the people closest to me has really helped and accepting that endo is part of my life and isn’t going to go away so I have to be honest about the ways it affects me otherwise it makes life so much more difficult.

I also have been terrified about conceiving. Having children is something I really want and I’ve been terrified that I won’t be able to get pregnant. However, I have a few friends that have endo that have had 3/4 children each! And since being on here I have read some really comforting posts about people with endo and pregnancy.

Having a lap makes the chances of conceiving higher.

Definitely speak with your doctor about it and I’m sure they can offer support.

And speak with your husband - hopefully his insight might put you are ease!

Hope this helps in some way x

[ccsmith]

I’m the same and have been struggling with depression & anxiety for 4 years now. I’m on Citalopram (antidepressant & anti anxiety med) after I had a crisis which frightened me. It has taken the edge of but each day can be different. I can be very low and angry still.

There is a website on Facebook called Endo and Mental Health which I find really supportive. The days I feel really low I post on there and the girls are so supportive.

Please stay open with people I have found my sister in law is great & I text her bad day and she just sends love back.

Best wishes xx