Hello I am new!

[JT98]

Hi ladies, hope you are all well> I am new here but struggling a little bit. I have just had a laparoscopy to discover I have endometriosis. I had to undergo laser therapy to remove the big patches inside. But I am really struggling to come to terms with the fact I may struggle to have Family. I am only young and already suffer from anxiety but this is beginning to cause me stress and making me feel like I do not want any sort of physical contact? Has this happened to anyone else? Is it a normal way to feel?

[weekari]

It's definitely normal. You've just found out you have a chronic illness, even if it doesn't impact your fertility, it's still a loss you're dealing with, a loss of your 'healthy self'. It's an adjustment to have to now see yourself as someone who has a life long illness. This might impact how you feel about yourself, which could make it difficult to be closer with anyone just now. You need to give yourself time to process this diagnosis and what it means to you, not just the fertility side of things but you as your own person.

I've been really ill for 4 years but was just diagnosed in May and I definitely struggled with the diagnosis. I was so angry but since I didn't really have anyone to be angry at, I think I just stuffed the anger down. I had to wait to find out more about where its affecting me and what treatment will be (I'll find this out on Thurs) and I felt I couldn't really know how to feel about it all until I knew everything I was dealing with. I also felt pretty rubbish about myself, the fertility side of things (I'm just about to turn 40) and just the fact that my body isn't working right and has something awful inside it; I felt I was disgusting. But thankful I realised I was switching off from it all and started to open up about it when I could. I've posted on here and spoke to a few people I trust. Plus I've used letter writing to help me vent (I just wrote a letter to my body).

I'm sure your lack of desire for contact just now is just temporary while you process it all. You're going through a lot.

Plus you might still be recovering from surgery? Surgery is traumatic and the anaesthetic can really mess with your feelings for a bit too.

Go easy on yourself and try give yourself some space to process everything you're going through.

Xx

[JT98 in reply to weekari]

Thank you, I hope Thursday goes ok for you <3 I struggled massively with trying to process it and am afraid my partner will not want me because I may not be able to provide children. I am not long turned 20, my life is just meant to be starting .. But I feel this has put me backwards .. I don't have my mum near, so I feel very alone xx

[weekari in reply to JT98]

If your partner does not stand by you over something like this, you'd be better off without him. I'm not minimising the importance of having a child but its not a woman's only role in life. You deserve to be loved and valued regardless of your fertility circumstances.

You don't know what will happen or of your fertility will be effected and they're are many, many ways to have children.

What would you do if you found out he was infertile?

[JT98 in reply to weekari]

I would still stand by him and work our way forward by looking into other ways, like adoption IVF and surrogacy. I would not be phased as I understand that these things happen.