Gynaecologist problems xx: Hi, Sorry I am... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK

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Gynaecologist problems xx



Sorry I am new to this. I haven't got a formal diagnosis of endometriosis, but am having my laparoscopy in Feb. I'm in my last year of nursing, and am really worried I won't bounce back after the op and am going to struggle. I've had heavy periods for the last 8 years, and the pain is on and off (and sometimes is unbearable - I ended up in hospital in September last year). My relationship with my partner is struggling due to the bleeding and pain (after sex) and I am feeling really down. I'm struggling with my bladder, and if I don't go to the toilet straight away, I'm in pain for hours.

My gynaecologist is trying to persuade me not to have the op, and making me feel like it's all in my head. In the last year I've seen my gynaecologist twice and she makes me feel like I'm wasting her time. Does anyone have any advice please.

30 Replies

Hi firstly welcome you will start to realise how amazing this forum is and that everyone wants to help each other! Can I ask why she is saying not to having the op? Because that is the only way she can really diagnose you with endo. If I was you I would change gynocologists. You don't have time to waste by going to someone you feel is not giving you the help that you need. You should feel comfortable asking her questions and not just say anything to get rid of you. I would just ask my GP to refer me somewhere else. Good luck!

Tiff9731 in reply to Hidden


I'm so glad I found this forum. She wants me to remain on the pill, as it's working in reducing the length/heaviness/pain. But it's not completely gone and I'm still having two weekly periods every month, and trouble being intimate with partner. The pain I'm having is also unbearable at times, and is effecting my sleep.

My gynaecologist recommended I try couples counselling to help with the bleeding/pain after sex. Last time I was seen by my gynae I took my mother in, and my mother agrees that she has no time for me and treats me like it's in my head. I wasn't aware that I could change Gynaecologist's, so that's really helpful. Thank you.

Hidden in reply to Tiff9731

Yeah of course you can change it's your right to if you feel like you are not getting the help that you need! They normally get you to go on the pill and see if that helps and if it's not helping you as much as you wanted then the operation is the next best thing!

Tiff9731 in reply to Hidden

Ahh that's great then! Trouble is I've been on various pills for like 8 years x

Hidden in reply to Tiff9731

Yeah then it's time for the operation to see what's going on and clean it all out x

MsDiagnosed in reply to Tiff9731

Sounds so familiar - gynaecologist who did my smear test recommended counselling for painful sex, fast forward 1 year and BSGE gynae tells me I have stage 4 endometriosis with rectum and womb stuck together (am guessing this wouldn't be rectified with counselling then.....). If you aren't being seen at BSGE clinic would recommend you ask to be referred.

I agree with Christina11. I would try and get another consultant as well. Endometriosis UK have local support groups throughout the uk. It may be worth finding your local one, and going to a meeting or joining the facebook group, and asking local women if they have any consultants to recommend.

I get pain when I hold in a wee as well, its such a pain because I feel like i cant go to far from a toilet, camping, festivals and concerts are horrendous. Sex is a complicated issue, I do feel sorry for my husband because he then feels guilty when im in pain afterwards and he does moan when I am in too much pain to have any, and certain positions are better/worse then others but its just something he has gotten use to.

Tiff9731 in reply to Ria29

This is really useful, thank you! Everything you've just said is really useful as I'm having these problems, and I do feel for our partners xx

Hi, I am very sorry you are having so much pain.

I had problems from my first period and was diagnosed at 19 with endometriosis. I am now 55 and had many surgeries, most were full laparotomies with a lot of severe adhesions and problems.

I had one lap which was a holiday...... easy to recover from.

I am so disappointed in you OB/GYN! If you trust her, go through with the surgery. My bladder is still a painful problem even after my complete hysterectomy at 39!! Although, the adhesions tend to stick everything together and make a mess. Endometriosis can also cause blood filled cysts that can rupture and cause scarring.

Try and rest, walking or light exercise if possible to help build up your body before surgery. I found a lot of help from Naturopathic doctors, acupuncture, massage and good nutrition. If you can, have GP to do a complete blood work to see if you are anemic etc also helps.

Please know you are not alone and believe in yourself. You know your body and pain. I also was told "it was in my head" blah blah...... wish I could find those idiots and have them read my huge medical chart!

If you do not have faith in your surgeon, find another one that will treat you with respect. I was blessed with both of mine and wish you could come to Vancouver BC so I could have you see mine.

Try and research other doctors and healing options.

Many, many blessings to you on this journey.

Congratulations on your Nursing...... You will be a very kind and supportive nurse.

Best Wishes


Thank you! I am sorry you have had to deal with these problems for so long, and am glad you have now had this sorted. Thanks for advice with the exercise/nutrition/ acupuncture will definitely try that!

My Gynae is hard work - I'm just concerned if I change I won't have a new one for a while. Last year the bleeding and pain was so bad they put me on the pill and the depot injection at the same time and I wasn't allowed a break. ( I was still bleeding on this mind) I am trying a different pill now (still having a 2 week period every month though) Thanks for all your help!

Tiff9731 in reply to Tiff9731

Hope all is well with you now too xx

Hi Again,

When is your surgery date? If you are having servere pain, you can go to Emergency (go in the morning during a week day) and you may luck out with a GYN available to see you and get you in for surgery..... you never know 💕 (A different hospital then where your surgery is book!! )

In all the years only 2 ultrasounds should cysts ...... never endometriosis so don't let anyone tell you that there is nothing to see.

In my opinion you have all the signs of endometriosis and surgery can help. What really upsets me is that they have made very little progress in helping women who suffer terribly with this illness.

If men had these problems..... it would be solved by now!

I forgot to share that I had a "miracle baby" My doctors did not think that I would be able to without a lot of medical intervention and I got pregnant and had a darling son😘

The import thing is to find doctors and healers who specialize in treating endometriosis.

A friend of mine had a very problematic fibroid. Her GYN wanted to operate but she went to a Chinese Medicine Doctor who treated her naturally and with acupuncture and it is GONE!

Take care❤️

I don't actually have a date yet, just February. Well I didn't know that, if it gets worse I will (I'm still able to work at the moment).

When I had my ultra sounds they said I had small cysts, that they said wouldn't cause any problems. It is bad - I read an article the other day which states that it takes roughly 8 years to be diagnosed.

Ahh congratulations, I'm so glad to hear this! Thanks for all the help and support. xx

Thank you!

If you don't have a surgery date, call her office an ask.

If you don't get one then start looking for another GYN. You don't have to cancel their Feb month crap..... shopping around doesn't hurt.

People forget, "We" hire a doctor and that's how they get paid!! We can "fire" them too..... I have!

Cysts can cause pain, they can rupture and scar......I know!!

You have 5 months to shop around........

Good luck 💕

Unfortunately I am in the U.K. So just given what is available. I will give her a ring though, hopefully I'll get a date. Thank you xx

I just read your further comments......!!

Your Geno is an ass!! Couples counselling.... good grief...... RUN and find a REAL OB/GYN. Sounds like yours got her certificate from a Cracker Jack Box....... I am not impressed.

What I did in my 30's was convince my GYN to let me stay on the pill 365 days throughout because the pain was debilitating. Doctors had never done anything like that 25 years ago..... She was great and it helped not having periods. My surgeon didn't want to give me a hysterectomy so young......

Please take care of yourself and find a competent GYN


Hi, you need to go to you gp and asked to be referred to a BGSE Accredited centre, that way you will get to see someone who knows what they are doing, a lot of gyn doctors don't know how to spot endometriosis during a lap and a lot of ladies on here have been put through a unnecessary operation because they are told that everything is all clear when in fact it is not as they have found out when they go on to see a specialist, keep a diary of all your pain and symptoms to show your gp, you know your own body and if you feel something's is wrong then it probably is, don't take no for an answer with your gp, be strong and clear about what you want to happen and if all else fails go a see a different gp until you get someone to listen and do the referral, best of luck

Tiff9731 in reply to Nikki84

Thanks for the help! Will definitely start the diary today. Thanks for the support - I just need this sorted now! Hope all is well with you xx

Nikki84 in reply to Tiff9731

Mine is a long story lol x

Tiff9731 in reply to Nikki84

No worries, if you ever need a chat/rant I'm always here

Sorry to hear your struggles but you're not alone. Keep a pain and period diary. My gynea tried to tell me I had IBS, I ended up stopping the depo injection and starting a diary to prove her wrong and surly I did! I had my lap in October (during my post grad in teacher training), you need to listen to your body during recovery and while you're in your early days of getting back into routine then you soon do things without aching or making grunting noises xx

Tiff9731 in reply to Cupcake1617

They did that with me and gave me buscopan and mebevrine but took my off it when I lost a stone in a month haha! During recovery can you still do things? I'm meant to be on a nursing placement when I go back after my Lap, but I'm nervous that I won't be able too xx

Cupcake1617 in reply to Tiff9731

I was on placement during my lap too! I had 2 and a half weeks off but could have done with slightly longer, I'm a DT teacher and found making things really hurt me, but I didn't even think of that until it happened. If you're allowed back on placement to do general things you'll be fine, if you're required to lift lots asap you might struggle a little. Have you spoke to university? I told my tutor and she was more then helpful & infact told me to bring my op forward as it was scheduled for Christmas holidays .... you may be allowed to extend a few weeks at the end of the course if it comes to it. Do you have to do a certain amount of days on placement? X

Tiff9731 in reply to Cupcake1617

I will be doing a lot of manual handling e.g. Getting patients up, dressed, toiling, in and out of wheel chairs etc. But there will be support from other nursing staff. I've messaged my PT 3 times since June and she hasn't got back to me about it yet. I have to complete 37.5 hours of placement a week xx

Hey I can totally relate to your situation. You have a lot going on but it's great that you are taking steps to get some answers. Could you be put on a cancellation list or be fast tracked in some way? I had my lap also in my final semester of uni. I was so worried about deadlines and getting behind that I rushed back after a week and burnt myself out. My advice would be to really research and prepare for surgery, so tell your tutors you wont be around, ask your surgeon exactly what the procedure will be (to treat or just to diagnose), tell uni about your situation and get some deadline extensions, and to emotionally prepare. Take a good 3 weeks off if you can to recover. For me even getting to campus was hard so take it easy. I don't know if you get an Easter break with nursing but try and use that time to rest as well and catch up with uni. Your gynae does not sound sympathetic, you can't just put up with your symptoms it's not fair. You could get some medication for your bladder from your gp. Best of luck with uni and I hope you get some answers soon :)

I might ring up to see if there are any cancellations, they said they won't fast track me because my Gynae doesn't think it's urgent enough.

I've mailed my tutors about it, but I haven't really had a response unfortunately. I think I'm just having a diagnostic, but they did say if it's treatable there and then they will do it. Trouble is it's just before my last management nursing placement - which is one of the most significant placement.

I might pop back to my GP to see if they can help me with anything. Thank you, hope all is well with you x

Char11 in reply to Tiff9731

Yeah get the number for the surgeon's secretary and make a nuisance of yourself, that's my strategy! Best of luck for final year, take care x

Tiff9731 in reply to Char11

Thanks, you too xx

Hiya x when I first went to my doctors and gynae I felt the same like they didn't take me seriously. Eventually they got me in for a laparoscopy and when they did it they had to proceed immediately to a laparotomy to remove a cyst and most of my ovary. My endometriosis was severe and was and still is attached to my bowels. Don't be fobbed off x you know your own body whatever they say

Tiff9731 in reply to Sharon-800

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, but thank you for your support! I feel like I need this done, as it's impacting my life. Hope all is well with you xx

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