Struggling

[Nikki84]

Hi ladies, I am really struggling at the moment that I just feel like ending things, I am really sorry if this upsets anyone I just don't know we're to turn, my colon is fused to my womb and I have a month still until I see the specialist, the pain is so bad that I am crying and screaming in pain, I have been to a and e twice in the past week and I am constantly off my face on morphine and a load of other drugs, I just wish someone could take this pain away, I feel so alone right now and can't even go out of the house, I just don't know how much longer I can hold on.

[Hidden]

Hello,

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low. You are having a very hard time and it is understandable to feel that way. I know words don't feel like much when you're feeling like this, but it helps to not isolate yourself and reach out to others. Please know I am here for you.

Also, if you are in crisis please let people around you know and possibly alert authorities if it gets to the point where you are about to do something bad.

I wish there was something I could do or say to take this pain from you.

If you need someone to talk to who knows what it is like to feel that way, feel free to pm me x

[Nikki84]

I spoke to the home treatment team about an hour ago, they don't seem to give a shit, I am under the recovery team and have a CPN who has been off for two weeks, they just staid they would get someone from recovery to ring me tomorrow to which I replied I have been calling them for most of the week and all I get is there busy or on the phone or with someone or they will call you back, guess what they don't call you back or even check on you, never felt so alone

[Hidden in reply to Nikki84]

Well there's people here replying so you aren't completely alone.. here if you need me

[Judan]

Wish I could help you, big hugs, here if you want to chat xx

[rosesinbloom]

I don't know what to say other then I understand what you're feeling completely, but I know that doesn't really help, but just to say you're not alone in how you're feeling.

Do you have any friends or family who could stay with you?

I have one or two things I know make me laugh every time I see it, so I sometimes put that on if I feel really low, and laughing can help kill a little bit of pain.

I'm sorry I'm no help

[Nikki84]

I have my husband, but I can't talk to him about how I am feeling because it makes me feel worse, he absolutely adores me and works his backside off every day in work and then comes home and cares for me and does all the house work, he doesn't complain but he is shattered and you can see it but he won't say anything because he wants to be strong for me, this is why I love him so much, I couldn't ask for a better husband, best friend and life partner, I am just glad that I have you ladies on here who know what I am going through x

[Runner92]

I have been there iv had to come back from travelling twice because of it and I wanted to end it all the pain was unbearable couldn't move. Go back to the doctor and nag! Say how your feeling and they should push it along. We all get sick remember that!! We are all here for you! Take every day as it comes

[Nikki84]

I have tried, I rang appointments and his secretary, all his clinics are book up till November so I am lucky to get one for September, I have just got to ride it out on the morphine, my gp has put me on anti depressants to help me cope

[Hidden]

I know you don't want to hear this right now, but I have to say it regardless !

Suicide does not take the pain away, it passes it on to others !

My dad died of suicide when I was 14 and at 42 I still struggle with it !

Im my opinion you would only pass your life sentence on to those who love you !

Please get help . Samaritans, or Gp who can put you on to the crisis team !

Hold on x

[LK09]

Hello

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I agree with the ladies on the forum call your GP surgery and nag them for an emergency appt. Call your local crisis team. Single point of access (SPA) are available 24 hrs. I do hope you feel better soon and get seen by someone. Big hugs x

[Emalouisa]

Your never alone you have us , us woman have each other ❤

[aimeewils]

I myself felt the same as you some moons ago. Where everything got so much I took a lot of paracetamol not that I wanted to die so much but just get rid of the pain. I was very close to death and had my family called as they didn't think I'd make it through the night to see my family go through that was heart wrenching & even though I sometimes feel like it I would never put them through that again. My help then came through the crisis team. Please ring them! You can only then start with recovery & if u can get your mental health in check your more able to cope with the pain & all the other stuff that comes with it. I'm here & so are the other ladies if u need us XXX

[Mezo]

I know how you feel. Like someone already mentioned, it absolutely does no good to isolate yourself. I did that for a while and it made me feel unbelieeevably low - like nobody cared. I found that catching up and talking to friends/family (whether its video chat, phone or in person) helps take the edge off. I can only speak for my experience but I noticed that when I was speaking to someone (vs being alone and upset) - I felt a little less pain! Not always, but more than a few times. Emotional and physical pain are very closely intertwined.

Call up a friend you love. Have them come over or have a Skype date. Call them. Whats going on in their life? Update them about yours! Its a nice wee distraction. Just what we need sometimes. That could take the pressure off hubby too!

X

[debrabi]

Sorry to hear of the pain you are experiencing. I have been there too. I kept going to my male GP time and time again due to my excruciating pain. He dismissed me treated me like a hypochondriac as the ultrasound only showed a fibroid and small cyst on my ovary. He said they were not large enough to ve referred to a Gynochologist. I accepted his advice and lived in misery, coming home from work and falling straight into bed. My husband was very worried about me and called his mother who I sm very close to. She said go back to your GP and demand to see Gyno. She said " if your children were suffering in pain you would advocate for them and demand further investigation, you need to be strong and advocate for yourself" she was right. So I went back to Gp stated I want to be referred to Gyno. When he appeared reluctant I stated that I was in dibilitating pain and if he wont refer me I will go and see another GP who will. He gave me a referral. Gyno examined me and I hit the roof in pain. He said "its not in your head" booked me in for a laparoscopy hystoscopy and results confirmed adenomyosis, ovarian cyst and fibroid. 6wks ago had an abdominal hysterectomy left ovary, cervix and uterus removed and although still recovering I am already having no back or hip pain. My advice is be strong abd advocate for yourself. Demand to see a gyno. If you think they are not taking you seriously take your husband with you and get him to advocate for you to explain how dibilitated you are. All the best, keep reaching out we are all here to help. Its a tough road but please know it is only temporary. Say that everyday to yourself " this is only temporary" dont lose hope as once treated you will have a very happy and healthy life again I promise 😊

[Kacy]

I feel you on the pain! It's excruciating. I have the same problem and I too must wait till October for a 2nd surgery. The first surgery ended up being exploratory, but the Dr did excise some of the scar tissue. Whatever she did, it gave me relief. I avoid pain meds, they stop you up and make things worse. Hang in there and make sure your surgeon is very good at their job. Try probiotics, it may help. I'm sorry you're suffering so much. But hang in there, it'll he better once you get the surgery.