Feeling pressured by employer - again!! Please help! - Endometriosis UK

If you've read some of my previous posts about my employer, I'm having more hassle.

Okay so they've been okay about my reduced hours and I've been incredibly happy with working shorter shifts and it's done my pain & fatigue a world of good. But, I can't help but feel I'm being pushed into going back full time. They keep saying how a phased return isn't a permanent thing and I know that but I really feel I am not physically able yet to do a full weeks work which is 37.5 hours with 9/10 hour days. Right now I'm working 4/5 hours and that is plenty but this week will be the end of my phased return 2 weeks and I'm terrified to say I need another week.

So I've been doing fine with my shorter hours, haven't had a single day off since I started back. But, today, was the worst day in a while. My whole body ached and my pain was so intense it is making me physically ill. I had to call in sick this morning. So I called as soon as I was awake and left a voicemail only to find a message a few hours later from a colleague telling me one of the team leaders (the one I've previously had problems with) will call me. This is not my team leader and not the woman who I left the voicemail with. I feel like I'm being punished for being ill. It's not like I'm calling in sick with a cold, I have chronic pain!!

I am terrified of going in tomorrow and being ambushed.

I cannot lose my job over this, I can't afford for that to happen but I'm terrified it's going to.

I have no idea who is above our team leaders so I don't know who else I could speak to.

I'm terrified.

38 Replies

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Starry

in reply to staceymacg

a year ago

Hugs. First of all. Your health and recovery is THE most important thing. Try not to anticipate the worst, it's unlikely to happen.

Even if it did. Ultimately if they decide they want to fire you you can't stop them, so there is no point sweating about it. It's worth though keeping evidence of conversations etc to support an equality act discrimination claim if you were to be minded to.

The main thing is there is no point in letting yourself get anxious about it, it will just stress you out and aggravate your symptoms.

Don't be afraid to say you need a more gradual phased return, this is a positive thing returning which you can use in your defense. it's about ensuring that it is a success which of course both parties want.

And don't be intimidated by the wrong colleagues contacting you. It could be an innocent availability thing, ask why if definitely not innocent, you can flag that it seems inappropriate, due to history or heirarchy and if it's distressing ask it not to be done again. ( If they do, there is evidence for you)

Keeping the conversation fact based and outcome focused ( your successful return) should put you in a good position.

I don't think that's correct actually and the person was an arsehole.

The whole act is about impact severity and duration. You rock those you are covered. Women's stuff can go wrong medically and need for a procedure indicates severity. That's like saying a man impacted by prostate is just having "man's troubles" and extremely sexist. CAB may be more useful support source if you've a decent one.

I read the guidance notes pdf on the equality act website and you don't have to have a formal diagnosis. But the duration is important. Will try to find the link. But again don't let the situation get to you plan what points you want to get across. Write it in a letter if need be. What you need. Why you need it. The link stating medical recovery facts as supporting evidence. Build your case. Fact by fact so they cannot dispute it. Whatever it takes to keep calm and avoid anxiety and avoid emotional reactions in the moment.

You will be okay.

Don't take any of it personally. They are just pushing for an early full return out of desire for corporate productivity.

If you are making progress even if slower than hoped they have no grounds to dismiss, and there is a strict process in terms of official warnings before they can get to that point.

So document the things that they say that are exerting pressure on you. If need be, politely call them out over it. Each health case is unique and it is entirely inappropriate and unsupportive and counter productive to adversely compare you to a different persons case as HR professionals they should know this. They may simply be behaving as corporate robots and not be aware of the effect they are having. You could give them sections of this pdf to enlighten them which describes the 12 week internal healing process and variables influencing pace of recovery centerforendo.com/is-my-end...

If they persist after flagging your concern then you know they do have an agenda.( More evidence for you)

I would feel exactly like you do, don't be hard on yourself. XXX if need be go see a GP, I found them to be helpful in being prescriptive about phasing returns which again will give you evidence of why you need to pace yourself to avoid a set back.

I have yet to brave my rtw. Still 5 weeks off.

Big hugs X X X X X

MrsCherry

in reply to PcosOrEndoOrBoth

It may help you feel less panicked if you write and keep a small laminated card with you that states you cannot have mefanemic acid. Also, you can download apps on some smartphones where you can store your health information. Some of these allow users to bypass log-ins for emergencies (although I don't know how used they are). What about a medical bracelet that you can wear every time you go to a hospital? You can get them made for whatever you need. I know how it is with the NHS, you have to say the same things over and over and information simply isn't stored. I have some severe medical allergies, so I keep all my information in a pack and hand it over when I have an operation, then demand it back afterwards! At least I know if I'm unconscious, they can/should refer to it. I'm glad you're feeling better now and hopefully if you can take some control of your information, you will worry less. xx

Hello, Stacey,

You've had good advice so far, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you're feeling pressure from work. You should not have had any contact from your employer while you were off ill, and this is a breach of your employee rights.

Also, the person from ACAS was completely out of order and should never have said such a thing to you. I suggest you call again and speak to someone else. I've found them to be most helpful in the past. I think you got a bad apple that time.

I suggest speaking again to ACAS for advice with your 'chronic illness' - which you have - and as your employer knew about your illness when you were hired, they would struggle to sack you without repercussions. If you're told you don't yet have a diagnosis and therefore without a 'protected characteristic', you can get a GP note stating that a diagnosis is pending. I had this exact situation when I was diagnosed 'in principle' with cancer (when they are pretty sure but waiting for lab results) and that was accepted until I had the confirmed diagnosis.

Also, UK employment law requires employers to make reasonable adjustments and allow flexible working when possible. If they force you to return full-time next week only to have you go off ill again, they are damaging your health and are probably in breach of the law. Small companies tend to be the worst (in my experience) for simply ignoring laws.

As others have suggested, speak to a union and see if they can also offer support.

If you'd like to PM me, I would be more than happy to help find a union in your field of work that could help you.

Don't let them bully you. Bullying is illegal. Look after yourself. xx