Advice 😐: Would you tell your mother in... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK

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Advice 😐

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Would you tell your mother in law if you think you might never be able to conceive? When your chance is 50-50 because of other health issues. Would you trust her enough?

Never had a good relationship with my mother in law but we do get on now. Think it's for the sake of it because I'm married to her son! 😓

10 Replies
shazlovesevo profile image
shazlovesevo

Hey hun,

I had this problem, my soon to be mother in law never really wanted to understand my endometriosis.

I had a good heart to heart with his parents a few weeks ago and told them I may never be able to give them a grandchild and she was crying, my partners dad cuddled me, they both said they're not bothered if I can't have a child, we've got eachother. I'm very close to them & they are very supportive of me.

Go for it hunni, don't worry about things😚 good luck xxx

in reply toshazlovesevo

I never did get on with my mother in law from day one and I have to move out asap too which she didn't approve of. They have always given me grief so not sure how she would take this news. We are on better terms now but I don't know how she feels about me exactly.

Jenny8 profile image
Jenny8

I think I would only tell her if I needed her support and thought she would be be a help. Trying to conceive, when there are problems, is stressful enough without someone adding to that stress. Good luck. Xxx

in reply toJenny8

Hi Jenny. Tbh she can't really help me financially or give the support I want. More than anything she will probably be disappointed

Jenny8 profile image
Jenny8 in reply toJenny8

I'm hoping things work out for you. I had a very slim chance of getting pregnant, and I did - twice - albeit with IVF. Very best of luck. Xxx

Bethaney_B profile image
Bethaney_B

Oh dear, sorry to hear of your situation. I have just been told that I am being referred for laparoscopy as I match everything for endometriosis, tranexamic acid and mefanamic acid aren't working and the pill sends me completely loopy (I'm also hypothyroid which complicates any hormonal treatment). I have expressed to my future MiL that I don't want children for a variety of reasons (financial, time, career etc) but a big factor is that being hypothyroid increases the risk of miscarriage. Regardless, MiL persists in bringing up children at any given opportunity which really infuriates me, especially when it is at family gatherings. I am really debating telling her now about the endometriosis to try and make her realise that she won't be getting any more grandchildren (she already have 6 but all from her daughters and she wants someone to carry on the family name.... she's not at all royalty). The way she bangs on about children makes me very envious of shazlovesevo below - I often feel like it's not enough for her son to be happy etc and that I'm only validated if I conceive.

So I think I will be taking the opportunity to tell my future parents in law about the endometriosis - I think a good heart to heart will make them realise what they are making me feel, but also give them the facts.

Good luck - let us know how you get on x

shazlovesevo profile image
shazlovesevo in reply toBethaney_B

Hey hun, I'm so sorry that the parents in law are giving you a hard time! Mine used to be the same believe it or not! I've been with my Fiancé for 6& a half years and it has taken alot of grovelling to get to the point we are at now. Believe me it's not been easy! Have are good heart to heart with them, be honest & they will listen xxx

Bethaney_B profile image
Bethaney_B in reply toshazlovesevo

It's so good to know someone was in the same position and worked it out :) thanks so much x

in reply toBethaney_B

Hi Bethaney. Unfortunately i didn't tell them. My mum has told me not to and she's right in a way. Iv always been looked down on because of my health and now with endo they will completely give up on me. To them I'm just a sick girl 😭 Their other dil is their favoured ourite married, living with them has children so I don't think they really care if I have endo or not.

I always wanted a good relationship with my mil but that has never happened.

JeanOsborne profile image
JeanOsborne

Hi Hun I told mine, but I had only about a 2% chance of conceiving. It actually bought us closer together. My in laws have been so supportive and with this disease that's what you need. It must be your decision though. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. We are all here for you.

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