I just joined a few minutes ago, and have been diagnosed with Endometriosis for 3 years, and actively trying to get pregnant.

[kimiebear]

I just joined a few minutes ago.

I got diagnosed about 3 years ago, but I wasn't told by the doctor. I found out when my second opinion was reviewing the surgery records from my fibroid being removed. It has been a tough journey.

My husband and I have been together 7 years and married for 3. This has been very difficult for us, straining to say the least. My patience doesn't exist when I am having a "bad ouchie day" as we call it around here.

For most of this disease, I have had no idea. Just trying to get each symptom resolved individually, because every doctor I went to told me everything was in my head. I finally started the Lupron shot 7 months ago, and have found the most SWEET relief of my lifetime. That is a birth control shot that can either be done in 1 month or 3 month set.

My husband and I have been actively pursuing my getting pregnant. The endometriosis has completely blocked my tubes inside and out, along with my uterus. We have discussed adoption, started Invitro but are having issues with funds, and even discussed having my uterus removed recently. It seems though, our desire is in having our "own" baby as naturally as we can, which means INVITRO.

My ultimate dilemma and point, is I always thought having a baby would be easy, and its proving to be one of the hardest decisions of my life. As I mentioned before, the Lupron has brought more peace and relief to my marriage than we have been able to experience in the past 6 years. Relief we needed. And now, we have an appointment with our second attempt at starting Invitro (since we had been undecided and put things on hold), and I am on the second day without the overlapping Lupron shot.

I am terrified at the process. The process of coming off of the shot, everything I am going to experience at once (all 10 horrible symptoms) while we wait for the Lupron to completely leave my system and start everything involved with invitro. I am terrified of the pain, the lack of sleep, the time I will most likely miss from work, the day to day building of pain, the strain it will then cause on our relationship, because my patience goes from 200% to -10% and you notice pretty quickly.

Sigh....I am scared and there is no way around it, we want a baby and this is how we want it. Our thoughts and what we have been told is that getting pregnant will actually help with the endometriosis and may resolve it completely.

I just feel so alone in this, and how I feel, and how invisible the symptoms are, and how I recently found relief after so many years and that is no longer an option, because regardless the shot is only meant to be taken for 6 months before you start to face Osteoporosis. The doctor put me on oral Estrogen to counteract that. I still find myself wanting at least 1 more month of Lupron.

I don't know what I expect, I just know I have to talk about it. Anyone going through anything similar or have thoughts, or suggestions?

[NDE1987]

Hey there, sorry to hear of your struggles. Please join the fertility group on here, you can share your experience s. I had a failed ivf cycle last month so still struggling. My husband and I are deciding if you should self fund our next cycle or just keep trying naturally. Here if you wanted to ask any questions xx

[kimiebear in reply to NDE1987]

Oh, thank you for responding. Are you dealing with treating the endometriosis while getting pregnant?

[NDE1987 in reply to kimiebear]

No hunny, I had a lap and dye test back in 2015 which showed my tubes were ok so I was offered IUI first and then that failed and then was told to try ivf. I keep getting cysts. I have a 6cm cyst during my ivf but was told that it wouldn't effect the ivf. My clinic said if I wanted to get rid of it I can have it aspirated. I think this would be better for me than to have another operation as I have had two now and it effects your fertility. Iv been told I have a low amh for my age but have eggs. It's scary as I don't know what will happen in the future but I remain to be hopeful. I think we will try self funding ivf but it's scary to think it may fail and all that money down the drain x

[kimiebear in reply to NDE1987]

I am sorry you are having to deal with that we are going to try for loans, it is very frustrating to have to do all this planning and decisions, one lesser evil to another as far as treating the symptoms vs IVF

[Heji33]

Hello, omg I'm right there with you on all your pain emotionally and physically. Their last year two years have been hurendous for us. I work as a nanny and I just adore kids. I was diagnosed with poi at 25 which was a massive shock!! No one in my family has any problems trying to conceive. I went on to have one ivf on the NHS which failed it was so emotionally agonising. Then we went between ivf and adoption the whole of last year. We started adoption process after being told we need donar eggs and then in march we changed our minds and flew to Athens and did ivf which failed again. We then went back to adoption and then changed our minds again and did ivf again in Wales that failed. We have now decided we are doing adoption as I am just recovering from a laparoscopy. The last year and half I've been doubled over in pain and hospitalised after every ivf. I then went onto have stomach problems and hospitalised twice for that, 8 even left my job in August because I couldn't cope anymore! My lap showed moderate endometriosis in my pelvic region, cyst removed and left tube permently blocked they took a biopsy from my uterus and I'm now awaiting a consultation at the endometriosis clinic but in my head I don't need a doctor to tell me I'm done with pregnancy ! I can't take the pain the emotional pain or peeing on another stick to say no, I met a couple a year ago who said they never got pregnant in 8 yrs so they just decided to adopt and not investigate why. In a way I'm jealous, the next couple who I just met who got a baby at Christmas via adoption said one ivf was enough emiontal pain they couldn't do another one. So ask yourself what your gut feeling is saying? ? I think your so scared of the pain returning you don't really want to do it with all the uncertainty. What I believe in our case is it has taken 3 attempts for us to believe it's not gonna work for us. You need to ask yourself how many attempt your willing to set yourself before you believe it is or is not gonna work. Don't ruin your marriage or ur health for it we nearly split over it and it ruined my health. If you can find acceptance in adopting do it. Our friends who just got a. Baby say all there pain has gone and they are happy so that's what we are now clinging on to, plus when we adopt you never no we may conceive naturally our second child because the stress and pressure has left and we will be content with our 3 person family, I hope this helps

[kimiebear in reply to Heji33]

Thank you, I am sorry that you have made so much effort and attempts. For the past few years I have been dealing with the rejection of my body. This was kind of a slap in the face, always thinking that it would happen naturally and romantically and easy. Instead, having to choose having a baby over treating the pain.....that choice is just too hard. The pain affects everything. The worst of it is the emotional complete freakout, hormones and feelings flying everywhere. Nothing works for me for pain anymore, not Ibuprofin, not heat, not ice. I have uterus tests Tuesday to see what our options are. We most recently had spoken about me getting a hysterectomy and I got so excited, because it meant no more decisions about babies, no more physical pain and frustration. Then....not sure how but we switched right back to IVF, second consult. We have not actually made any attempts for the fertilization yet. I didnt even think about if we got the loan and did it and it didnt work My husband is convinced the place we are going to has a great return rate, so he is confident it will work. I just cant stand the idea of all the shots I have to do myself and whatever else is going to go into this. But then, when I think about adoption, the process seems SOOO complicated and I am afraid of having to get all the paperwork together, then having to actually CHOOSE a baby. I am definitely all for adoption, but its the details of it that are way too intimidating. So, I guess I figured IVF is less about me getting paperwork together, and a little bit more "natural" as far as that goes. I am afraid of the financial aftermath, too. Loans for the IVF, hospital bills, then a new baby and what....time off work? I mean that just sounds like we are going to be swimming in overdue bills. I dont really know. I dont have any family near me, and no extended family, not close with anyone, my parents are out of the picture, no siblings or close relatives. Just me and my husband. His family is pretty far too, and I feel like they have helped us enough in so many ways. I am really just looking for local emotional support. Help me get through the scary parts, someone to relate to, or something

[Heji33 in reply to kimiebear]

Hey well if you ever need someone to talk to we can talk. One thing is forget success rates the place in Athens promised 70% success and it didn't work. I really don't believe in success rates it's more if your body can accept the embryo and whether the embryo is good enough quality.

H

[kimiebear in reply to Heji33]

Ah, that makes sense. I dont know too much about it. Our appointment is February 14th ironically enough. It is all my husband can talk about. "This next step"

[kimiebear in reply to Heji33]

We have decided against IVF I think because of the chances of failure and cost with my specific uterus issues, so I guess we would look into adoption but he is so fed up with my emotional flare-ups that who even knows now. I'm so tired

[Heji33 in reply to kimiebear]

I've just had my first depo shot and I've been bleeding tiny bits every day. It's so draining, we are heading for adoption panel on the 21st June but feeling enotional and unsure of how we will feel when we finally meet our child, still have no idea if we ever had a chance of concieving naturally.

[kimiebear in reply to Heji33]

What is an adoption panel? Did you have to go through the full adoption process or are you just starting it? Can you go into it a little bit because we are looking into that I think that will be our only option but we don't really know who to use or how to get started and we have to build up your credit but we need a loan