Shocked!

Well what a rubbish weekend.. more or less incontinent now with the damage to my bowel..got an appointment with consultants November..

And to top it all off just found out the past yr of my life has been a complete lie 😟.

My lovely husband to be as not been married once as he told me, but twice and has a daughter to his first wife, had fake fb accounts messaging women and downloading porn...now he's claiming on fb to all his friends and family I've been hitting him.. so had grief from Friday, I've not slept and been in complete agony! Needless to say a woman's intuition is always right. Just don't know where to turn if I need an op or help getting out cos of the pain now 😢

16 Replies

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  • I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. What a pig!! Sounds like my ex. You will find you're stronger than guy thought and that you. Do. Not. Need. Him.

  • Paula, u don't need a guy like that in ur life, get rid of him now.

    U r stronger than anyone thinks u r, come on look what u have to deal with & u r dealing with it.

    U don't need that loser dragging u down & u will find u got friends out there, who will help u.

    Big (HUGS).

  • Wow thats awful! So sorry, human beings can be despicable for sure. Try not to lower yourself to his level. Sometimes we can only control how we respond but thats a good start.

    Hugs,

    Jx

  • What a nasty bastard get rid of him Hun u dnt need him in ur life at least u found out before u got married

    No wonder ur in pain sweetie hope u can get some rest soon

  • Bless you hon what a &@£? And on top of everything your going through!! I hope you've kicked him to the curb! Go to your dr and see if there is any help they can provide for if you go ahead with the op I'm sure you can have carers come in (although may be at a cost!?) hope everything gets better for you x

  • Gosh how awful. What a terrible thing to lie about. All I can say is

    Obviously there is a reason he has been married twice before and conveniently forgot to even tell you about it.

    As hard as it is and as shocked as you are, he is a compulsive liar, and to tell friends etc you are hitting him!!! You must be hurting terribly but you are a woman whom deserves far better than what he is capable of giving you.

    As far as your condition goes, I really feel for you. But at least you have a date to see the consultant.

    Do you live with this man?? If not give yourself a few days to rest and digest what is happening. Be strong and brave. You can do it even when it feels impossible right now. If he lives with you kick him out!!! Ask someone to come round so that you are not on your own with him. I dread to think what other lies he might try to spin.

    I am so sad that you are having to deal with so much right now. I hope you find the strength and courage xxx

  • Yeh did live with him, he's gone now.

    Hopefully things will die down soon and he will stop getting intouch. Struggling to switch my feelings off as my part of the relationship wasn't a lie.. but hey we live and learn x

  • Be strong! Xx

  • Be strong. You don't need someone like that in your life by the sounds of things (my opinion) your health is far more important and it sounds like you're having to deal with too much with your health alone let alone with him.

    You're a strong independent woman. Look after yourself only. Remember, the only person you can really trust is yourself. You are number 1. xxx (Hugs)

  • I 'SO' agree with all the comments above: you are better off without him. Plus, hard tho it must seem, it is better to find out now, than having gone thru the utter commitment of marriage.

    As for the Endo. Are you due to see a BSGE Consultant at a 'proper' Specialist Endo Clinic?? Half the problems of the women on here is that they have only seen general Gynaes, who just do not know enough about Endo and how it should be dealt with when it's really serious. Talk to the people at 'Endo UK' (link at top of page) and read the posts on here by 'Lindle' to find out more details of Endo specialists and the various regional BSGE Clinics.

    Meanwhile, take care. Try to de - stress, and nurture, treat and coddle yourself.

  • No just a bowel surgeon, going to request an endo specialist if they have to operate.. was diagnosed with it being really severe after laparoscopy then just discharged..

    I'm really bad pain every single day 😔Xxx

  • Okay, but was that at a BSGE Centre? Did they remove any during the laparaoscopy, or was that just an investigative lap?

    To request an Endo Specialist I think the whole thing has to be at one of the Specialist Clinics, is it??

    Take care.

  • No not a specialist clinic diagnosed by gynae.. they removed cyst but said the damage to my bowels were too bad. It's basically spread everywhere my appendix are stuck to my ovary , looks like no more kids cos ovaries are badly damaged too.. they did say it had spread somewhere else but can't remember the name. Going to ask gp for referral to a proper specialist if comes to having to have more ops.

    Don't want to risk anymore but nearest centre is miles away and now stuck without a car xxx

  • Poor you! Any one thing will be bad enough. Make sure your finance is in order just in case he has racked up big debts elsewhere.

    Hope you can get referral to a BSGE centre soon.

  • I'm so sorry to read this. Very tough with pain and emotional pain really makes my endo worse. Best of luck. I hope your appointment is early in November

  • Hi

    I'm so sorry with what's happened to you. I was in a relationship for years with a man who compulsively lied and manipulated me. I still don't know what was truth and what was lies. I never will. You love someone who didn't exist - such a hard thing to get one's head around.

    What helped me a bit was this forum:

    psychopathfree.com

    It is for anyone who had or has a relationship with someone who compulsively lies, is a narcisst, sociopath or psychopath. Have a read on there. You'll recognise your ex fiancé. My ex was somewhere on the narcissistic and sociopathic scale. It takes a long time to heal. I'm still healing.

    Sending light and love

    Xx