Fed up of sugar-coating. Little rant but also question

[MeganMae]

So I'm 11 days post-op of TPPE, surgery was successful and went really well. I was in 8 hours which is 4 over what was originally planned.

I got a letter which explained it. He also did tubal surgery because he found : 'bilateral hydrosalpinx with fimbrial block, both Fallopian tubes much more dialated than at laparoscopy'. I had another surgery on 18th March, where my tubes were slightly dialated, but with no blockage and only one hydrosalpinx.

My question is, in the space of 6 weeks, my tubes became blocked and another hydrosalpinx grew, so how long do I have now until it happens again.!?

I already have PID, PCOS, Adeno, and some cervix missing going against me for fertility, I'm at high risk of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, and now I just feel like I'm totally screwed. 

We are in no way financially ready for a baby but we feel we have no choice, how do I make that decision?!

I know my family & partner mean well but saying 'just wait & see what he says' 'think positive' 'you don't know the outcome yet' it's like seriously could you just admit that I'm screwed and stop sugar coating everything! I hate people saying 'stay strong/ stay positive' like what the frigg do you think I have been doing all this time?! 

Sorry. I just want honest help without people trying to make me feel better. Xxx

[Tboag]

Hi love, firstly, make sure you rest well and let your insides heal properly,

Secondly,  if you believe your best option is to have a baby now rather than wait, and you are in a loving settled relationship, I would go for it, money dosnt buy happiness, and are any of us really ready for the responsibility of another human being, being total reliable on us, ???

Go with your heart, and stay strong lol, no really we are all strong, as hard as it is we will all get through xxx

[MeganMae in reply to Tboag]

Thank you so much for your reply, it made a lot of sense and hit home with me. Thank you xx

[Hidden]

I agree that having a child is never 'financially viable' (unless you're a lottery winner) but everyone manages somehow or other.  Love doesn't cost anything and that is what your child needs the most...if you have support - whether this is from a partner or parents or friends and YOU want a child, then have a child if you can...it's one of the biggest regrets I have and now with no womb it never will happen for me.  If you can and you want (and you not anyone else) then go for it...!

[MeganMae in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your reply, made me quite emotional! I think I do worry what my family will say, but like you say it's my choice! Thank you so much xxx