Endometriosis UK
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how can I make sex pleasurable with endo?

I've been having sex for almost 2 years and I've never had a pleasurable moment during sex, I've never had an orgasm and I only have sex with my boyfriend because I want to make him feel good... will the pain ever go away.. please help

4 Replies

I find that if I stress about my endo pains it can make it worse- if I relax and enjoy it then I tend not to have pains. It doesn't always work that way, but a lot of the thiem it does. My boyfriend knows OUR situation and if I'm in pain he will stop. It is as much his job for you to relax as it is your's. You should have a sit down conversation with your partner about your pains, and discus if any particular positions are better than others for you.Really work together and be honest during sex on what you want to happen if you are in pain or nervous about something hurting.


Hi-I relate to you here. Also trying to conceive (although slim chance with grade 4 bloody endo)- so we needed to have sex right during an agonising flare up. I kind of grinned and beared it. that's awful I know. It's worse if he's too deep-made me cry in pain. As has been said though-my endo is OUR prob. I hope you feel able to talk to your man xx


It sounds as of you are concentrating on penetrative sex, but sex isn't just about penetration. You can pleasure each other with oral stimulation, use sex toys, massage and other things that increase intimacy. For women penetrative sex is not always the total path to orgasm. It depends on the position - for example, clitoral stimulation is less in some positions than others.

You might find it helpful to experiment with pleasuring yourself to achieve orgasm (if you haven't tried this before) in some alone time, so that you are better able to direct your partner about what feels good and how to help you to have a pleasurable and less painful experience. While it is nice that you are taking his needs into account, it should be reciprocal and he should be wanting to work with you to make the experience jointly pleasant.

Some women have found that where hurts depends on where there endo is located - so some positions suit better than others and are a lot less painful.


Due to a large nodule and the penis hitting my ovaries when he penetrated, we then began to use non-penetrative methods such as oral sex and stimulating only the outside of the vagina to avoid the pain. This was very helpful and also encouraged him to realise that 'in and out' is not the only forward (sorry to be so crude!).

To alleviate from the 'taste' when giving oral sex to your partner, I would suggest drinking a sweet squash before and after and sometimes, if you have it available, using sexual (and edible) lubricants on him to help as well.


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