Single and trying to date

[AnnaGoudie]

I thought we could share a moan on here single endo sufferers. I'm trying Internet dating and currently finding it difficult to meet or not really being able to commit to any arrangements. Telling someone you're sick is fine, but when they ask what is wrong and don't let up until you give them a specific name, I can practically hear them running for the hills across the information super highway. I find it is a useful way of getting creepy guys to back off however! Ha ha!

[MoonlightB]

I am such a mess at the moment I find it hard to see how anyone would want to be in a relationship with me. My ex hit me because I couldn't get pregnant so when I found out what was wrong with me I was really upset. I find it hard to do anything from the pain even go to the shop and when I do I'm exhausted afterwards and constantly grumpy. I'd probably be the most boring person to be with ever! Kudos to you for even trying.

[AnnaGoudie]

Oh my god! As if you didn't have enough to deal with. Your ex deserves to end up alone and constantly regretting what he gave up on: a strong brave woman (that's you). You concentrate on yourself and don't worry about dating until you're ready. Xx

I find it hard to understand why anyone would want me too (unable to move most days, putting on weight due to this, dodgy fertility, and an icky disease) but I have wonderful friends who are great at keeping me buoyed. Plus, any guy would be lucky to have my dazzling company (pah ha ha ha!).

Just because this rubbish is loitering within us doesn't mean we're anything less than fabulous! Xx

[Impatient]

Single life for me too these days. I really don't want to (a) burden any partner with my myriad of health problems and (b) cannot afford any social life whatsoever living way below the poverty line because i can't work enough hours to earn a basic living wage and (c) If I had the energy to put in to a relationship I would rather be working and earning some money and (d) Unless you find a prince, the frogs of this world, and there are many, will just take advantage of me, my kindness, my generosity and my stuff.

No thanks, i will keep my things to myself and just get on with life. There is no room to burden it any further. I don't miss it at all. Some ex-partners I am still in vague contact with but others I never see or hear about. They are all way in the past these days. Part of my past not my future....thank goodness in most cases.

[Impatient]

I would add that if you are just dating for dating sake, and having a social life then don't tell them any medical details. They are not likely to tell you about theirs.

If you settle in to a comfy relationship that developes beyond dating then perhaps tell them a briefly that you have been diagnosed with endo. Let them do the questioning and the homework. If they do, then they care about you, if they don't bother then they don't have a long term relationship in mind, or the caring presence of mind to look things up.

That's my agony aunt advice for you. It's your decision though. it does depend on how the conversations flow. If you really don't know them that well then don't discuss it.

[AnnaGoudie]

Well this has got quite heavy, quite quickly. Anyone got any light hearted stories?

[Mrs_N in reply to AnnaGoudie]

Hi there. I met my husband in a bar. That night I blurted out that I had been told two months earlier that couldn't have children due to the endometriosis following a deep beered up conversation. He put up with my terrible symptoms, married me and we now have a four year old son.

You see, things are not always bad. I thought no one would want me, I felt like damaged goods.

Oh and when it comes to fertility, the nhs sometimes get it very wrong.

Amanda

Xxx

[MoonlightB]

Sorry I didn't mean to be a downer just wanted to say that I admire you putting yourself out there. Must be hard. If a guy talks to me on facebook I'm usually so tired I let them lead the conversation which isn't exactly fair Luckily I'm very heavily into video games so I meet a lot of guy through that. I find it hard to have any interest in a relationship at the moment though.