Can my sex life ever be normal?

Hi I'm 24, and whilst I have never been officially diagnosed with endo, I strongly believe that I have it. Over the past 10 years I have suffered the following symptoms;

weight struggles

extreme PMS - sickness and throwing up, violent behaviour, sobbing, headaches etc.




diarrhea (linked to my time of the month)

EXTREME bowel pain during period - once had to go to A and E

VERY painful penetrative sex - brings me to tears

a lot of fatigue - could spend 15 hours in bed if I allowed myself

These symptoms (as well as others) have been ongoing since I started menstruating. Sometime they get worse or improve but always seem to come back around.

I have been diagnosed with IBS but over time I have done my research and I strongly believe that I was incorrectly diagnosed.

Anyway, the main symptom that is affecting my life is painful intercourse. I never used to suffer with this issue and slowly it has become worse and worse until now, I actually think it has worsened due to anxiety of pain. I am getting married next year and my partner is very understanding but this issue is making me feel like a failure as a partner and very unattractive. I used to feel very attractive and sexual, now I have stopped wearing nice clothes, doing my hair and make up and this in turn makes me feel worse. It's very difficult to untangle all of my symptoms and figure out what is linked and what is just a coincidence. All I know, is that all of them indicate to endometriosis. I have been led to believe that if I have exploratory surgery to confirm diagnosis and remove scar tissue it will not guarantee an improvement in pain or prevent it developing further. Does anyone have any advice. This is something I have been dealing with alone for many years.

4 Replies

  • Have you spoken to a gp asking them about this to get a referral to a gynaecologist? Sometimes you need to point things out clearly to a gp as they often have their favourites for diagnosing women.

    You may also get a private gynae appointment quicker that will help you. It does sound like it could be endo, I had painful bowels related to my cycles and cyclical pain but I kept a diary and could show how pain levels fluctuated with my cycle.

    Good luck and hope you get some answers soon.


  • Thanks for your reply :) The thing is, i'm too scared to go through all the testing and poking around just to confirm what I'm nearly sure about, and for there to be nothing I can do to improve things. The lack of treatment options is disheartening. Thanks again :)

  • :) what would you like to improve?

    and how is the sex painful? Is it because you are not lubricated or is it the actual penetration? If there are growths externally that can be felt they can remove that and it might improve it.

    I know how frustrating it is, I am trying to conceive but every drug designed for ovulation makes my endo worse! Rock and hard place isn't it?

  • Hi,

    I really feel sure your coming from- the thought of being poked and prodded around is no fun but also being in pain all the time, especially when intimate etc isn't normal and you deserve to be given the best treatments available. Unfortunately no doctor or consultant will be able to prescribe anything or offer you surgery to remove any Endo if you haven't been diagnosed. I highly recommend that you go to your GP and put your foot down, tell them that your quality of life is not good, in fact it's awful and affecting your mood, relationship, sleep- these things are all true and will trigger the GP to refer you, do not leave until they have referred you!

    If you do a bit of research before you go to GP it can really pay off, rather than seeing a gynaecologist I would ask to be referred to a centre of excellence for Endo in the UK- these are few but growing facilities and things will generally move a lot quicker. They are known as BSGE accredited centres here is a link so you can find your nearest one.

    I wish you all the best in your search for answers, I can really sense the fear and recognise your frustration from your post, I relate very much to how you are feeling and hope people start listening and acting soon so you can get the support set up for you to start your family life.

    I hope this helps, keep us updated. X

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