Losing the important stuff

[Charlotte1990]

You spend months, maybe even years building up relationships, careers and friendships for them to just shatter in a breath.

You can break up a relationship in a few words.

You can lose a job in just a few actions.

You can lose friends sometimes by just doing nothing at all.

I always try to regain the things that I have lost. Sometimes im successful but the majority of the time I am unsuccessful, and this adds to the burden of life.

I am without a job. Without many friends. I feel so distant from my family. I have an amazing boyfriend - the problem you ask? I feel as though I am dragging him down with me. I get these phases where I will just sit in a room staring at nothing...sometimes he will have spoken to me and I wont have heard. Or something I used to laugh at, I now dont.

I thought that although you love someone, they could change your world. He has. But sometimes in life, only yourself can make the life long changes.

This is normally where the problem begins. Where do you go from there if you cant leave the house? If you cant look in the mirror without feeling disgust for the reflection? Where does happiness come from if not from within.....what if then within is dead?

[Hidden]

You sound depressed Charlotte. At the risk of sounding obvious have you been to your doctors? Anti-depressants might help as might counselling.

The trouble with being depressed is that you look at everything in a negative light. If you weren't depressed you would be able to see all the positives in your life, such as your amazing boyfriend and your friends. And the fact that you recognise the need to regain friendships you have lost. You have been successful in this lots of times haven't you?

Even though you feel distant from your family you do have them which is more than many people do - again that is a positive.

You have many positives in your life its just your depression which only concentrates on the negatives and the failures.

I don't know what to say about you feeling dead inside. I just don't think that it is permanent and that with the right help you could end up feeling life is worth living once again. Thats something to aim for...

Hope this helps.

Bev xx