Admitted depression - feel worse

I am new here. I have suffered from stress and anxiety for some time and have a difficult relationship with my wife. I sometimes think she has BPD. Everything wrong is my fault and if I say otherwise it is me not taking responsibility. I am certainly not perfect but I am so tired and weary. Sometimes these days I wonder if I am the one with BPD or something. But I don't think so. We have young children and I will do anything and put myself through anything not to have them taken away from me. I don't feel in control of my own life. I have to listen but am not listened to. I have made some bad mistakes but most often the screaming will come because I loaded the dishwasher incorrectly or something like that. After spending the morning before work yesterday crying in my car after a hideous start to the day I went to the work doctor and managed to get an immediate appointment. He said I need to calm down enough to be able to start to take decisions about my life and make changes. He has given me Sertraline to stabilise things over the longer term and Propranolol to calm me down so I don't hyperventilate and have anxiety attacks. I will also start some CBT soon. I have had CBT before and have had therapy longer term after my first marriage broke down. I have never admitted depression before. Just stress and anxiety. I have never taken anti-depressants before either. It's really hard to concentrate at work and I feel really alone. I know the Sertraline medication is not instant but I do hope it makes a difference.

2 Replies

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  • Hi, you're really having a horrible time arnt you. Credit to you for asking for some help.i took sertraline for a short while and it helped me enormously. Don't take it at bed time as it can give you vivid dreams to start with. I took mine on a morning. I started on half a tablet for a week then took the full one. Also I think you're wife needs help and support too but that would mean starting with. Drs appointment too. There's something not right with her reacting as she does. If you can both get the support you need you can work towards making things better.

  • Good luck with your treatment and I hope things improve for you soon. Seems like you are have a rough time of it.

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