Secondary illnesses

[Crazycatladies]

Hello. I'm new here, and just thought I'd leave my story and see if anyone else has had the same experience. So about 10 years ago I started having rectal bleeding. No one wants to go to their doctor and say I'm bleeding out of my ass, so I waited for two years. By that time the bleeding was so bad I knew I had to get it taken care of. Turned out I had severe ulcerative colitis and probably had for ten years or so. Because I waited so long, they had a terrible time getting it under control. The meds wrecked my body. At the same time, I had to have my gallbladder removed and I got shingles. It was like the perfect storm. I have never recovered. The UC is controlled now, but I have now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and diabetes from the steroids. Also treatment resistant depression. Before all this I was a single mom of three, working full time and going to school full time, keeping the house clean, yard done and I exercised two hours a day. Now I get up, drag myself to my computer (I work from home) and then drag myself back to bed. Basically my wife does everything. She's so supportive, but I feel guilty that her life is like this because of me. Most days I don't even know why I'm still here, as this is no kinds of life. If I went on disability I could at least enjoy my time, but I can't afford to. At times I think about the woman I used to be, and I see who I have become, and I hate this person. I'm sorry for the long post, but I've never been able to talk to anyone who actually understands. I'm so happy to have found this group.

[bantam12]

Have you had your thyroid tested because fibro, cfs and diabetes are often diagnosed when it's actually a thyroid problem.

[Crazycatladies in reply to bantam12]

Yes, they've tested it several times, as this has been going on for so long. They even tried me on a trial of thyroid meds even though it was normal, but all it did was make me really sweaty.

[SORRELHIPPO]

I had very low B12 and when started 3 monthly injections, my abilities improved, also your Vit D levels may be vey low, as not getting enough sun, this can affect mood, I take supplements. I needed counselling after my diagnosis in my 30's, as for 5 years could not work, it is like a form of bereavement, you have lost who you were and thought you always would be. I did get back to part time work for 15 years. Please learn to be kind to yourself, when I feel down, I have some hypnotherapy CD's, advised on good ones by the counsellor I saw, they can help, so can meditation. I kept an activity/fatigue chart for a month, as pain/overdoing things/fatigue all feed into depression. I was able to look back on the charted time and work out, what was "too much" for me. when I was working almost 3 days a week, had to rest up for 2, in order to work again the next week. All the best

[Crazycatladies in reply to SORRELHIPPO]

Thank you. I appreciate the encouragement. I take vitamin D, they've tried me in B 12 shots. I do want to start seeing a counselor. I need help letting things go.