Getting use to it

I have had colitis for just over a year now.

I am not sure if it's still early but I cannot believe how much it effects the way I feel about myself.

I am just an average 47 year old who works hard and has children.

But it makes me feel dirty, unattractive and my intimate time with my partner has really taken a knock.

Does / has anyone else felt this way?

Or am I just being stupid?

10 Replies

  • Hi, no your not being stupid at all. It really affects a persons body image. When my Crohns plays up Im always worried I will leak faeces during intimate times. Luckily I have a very understanding partner who assures me that he finds me attractive what ever. Iv had Crohns for nearly 25 yrs, and although I still worry it certainly is not as bad as the early days. have you discussed your worries and feelings with your partner?

    hope I can be of some help

    Cath x

  • Not really. Just briefly. Thankyou for your help x

  • The current thinking and studies are now focusing on the gut microbiome. Keeping the balance between the good and bad gut bacteria is so important. Even our emotions are affected by the baddies.

    Anti biotics and the Western diet have destroyed this delicate balance. Have you tried Kefir ?

    I was diagnosed at 27 with Crohns and endured several operations with complications. Am now fit and healthy as I hurtle towards 70. Eating well and lots of supplements is key to our well being - emotionally as well as physically.

    Check out Dr David Perlmutter and his books. Do you practice yoga or do anything to help you appreciate your body - it could just help ☺

  • Oh bless you. I am a 45 year old who also has children and works full time. You are not On your own, I feel exactly the same. My life seems to revolve around my colitis, whether it's the exhaustion at the end of the day and the guilt of not having the energy to spend good quality time with my children and husband or from having spent half the day sitting on a public toilet (which makes my skin crawl) when we are on a family day out. I can't remember the last time me and my hubby actually did more than give each other a quick hug, I just feel horrible, even though I know I shouldn't. But, I am trying now, after having a flare up for the last 6 months after the stress of my daughter having major spinal surgery, to move on from it and accept it. It is hard, I do t know about you but very few people k ow I have this illness, even a few of my close friends don't know. Sorry if this sounds so negative, I kind of just wanted you to know that you are definitely not on your own. I think with time it must get better and I find I do have good positive days now. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to or moan to. Gill 😊😊😊

  • Thankyou Gill.

    Yep. Positive days are there! There just doesn't seem to be as many lately.

    I am like you. I have a good circle of friends but no one has IBS or UC.

    Thankyou very much for your advice. 😀

  • No, you are not STUPID! wipe the word from your mind! It takes a lot to absorb what changes our bodies go thru when we are attacked by an illness. Suddley we analize everything about ourselves, but, while we are doing this, it is a good time to become connected to our bodies. A good time to sit back, interconnect with your body by visualizing a well whole person again. I'm told eventually we get there. We internlize our bodies, watch the blood flow, help it flow into the wounded areas. Watch the cells correct themselves. Gradually a healing, metally an physically takes place. You will feel better about your self, and take time to love those around you. Appreciate the children, appreciate your husband, this makes for a happier home life. A peaceful athmospher is created with everyone feeling more relaxed. Start your evening meal in the morning when you have more enegery. By mid day, when you are exhaused, the hard part is over. Or, do all the more difficult chores early, that way you are free to take it easy the rest of the day. That could appy if employed or being a busy housewife with a million jobs to do! Good Luck, and smile, have a great day!

  • I imagine as this is a new event in your life it may have greater impact having lived without for so long. I occasionally feel that way but after over 23 years with UC its normal. Some months are better than others. I was 36 when first diagnosed. It also depends on how understanding your partner is. Although its not a subject you want to share too much, it might help . It can make you feel bad sometimes and spending a lot of time on the toilet through bad phases can leave you feeling drained.

    Your not being stupid .

    Perhaps you should find something nice to wear so when you feel safe, attractive and able to relax he knows its good time to be close . I am sure others still see the same attractive person.

    I hope this helps reassure think how you would feel it was someone close to you?

  • I had moderate UC, for 12 joyless years, I can't lie, but there has been some fun times. Always with the threat of yet another flare, Asacol and Salofalk I was given to 'make me regular' only made me worse. I couldn't live like this. When I found that drinking a silicon rich mineral water caused BMs, then they became very moist, so I decided to try silica capsules, and normal functions resumed. It takes a while depending how long you've had it.

  • No you are not being stupid. I am going through this process at the moment and awaiting results. Talk with your partner it is very important that he understands how you feel and how you are suffering. Also there are ways around sex. You instigate it when up you are on a good day. It will help you and make you feel loved and wanted. If you don't explain to him now he may think it's his fault. Take care, you are still the same person but with an illness.


  • hi H_E_L_E_N, i've had colitis for a few years now. but it has never made me feel dirty. but with all else that is wrong with me, i', nearing 82, , that it's the least of my problems. only if people ask me .... what's that, too explain it to them is rather embarrassing. but it is a disease. nothing you have done to acquire it. most people don't know what Parkinson's is either. and that makes you feel dirty too? i don't think so , or you wouldn't be writing about it on this site.

    i wish people knew more about it, so no one would have to explain it to them. so all we can do is educate them. there is a site for crohn's and colitis also. check into it. a very nice group of people that aren't afraid to talk about it. both diseases start in the gut. and they have tere similarities.

    good luck. .... judam9.

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