Today did not start well. Those of you who have read previous blogs of mine might remember that I struggle with rapid cycling mood swings. these are usually well managed by medication, but the last few weeks have been a roller-coaster ride of elation verging on mania alternating with terror filled desperation. Today dawned tearfully, with feelings of helplessness.
Today was the day of W9R3, yes, the graduation run. It was only sheer bloody mindedness that got me into my trainers and out of the door. It was hard work, my mood, the gusting north-easterly wind in my asthmatic lungs, and general exhaustion. But, I did it. 30 minutes non-stop for the third time in 5 days. Only covered 2.25 miles, but at this point I don't really care about that.
I was hoping that reaching this goal would lift my mood, but I was left with a feeling of "Is that it then?". No fireworks, no balloons, no prizes. Just a drink of water and a banana.
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earl-grey-sian
Graduate
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Bravissima. Good on you! Brilliant. Fantastico! I'm sure you'll get that inner glow sooner or later. What a star. I love the bit about "sheer bloody mindedness".
Well done. You should be very proud of yourself. You have completed the programme, you have fought against your mood swings and won. You are a graduate. I think that's great. Once again - well done you! Congratulations.
Awwww hunnnney, I don't know you and have never messaged you, but I have seen your contributions and messages to others! Many, many congratulations, bells, whistles, balloons, fireworks and champagne bubbles too ... Upon your graduation! I sit back and marvel in complete awe and admiration of you and all the effort you have made in spite of problems in your life. You are an inspiration to those of us who are still weeks behind you. I hope you will soon find a time and mood to celebrate and feel 150% brilliant about your achievement. I look forward to seeing your graduation badge alongside your name very soon. Linda X
Congratulations, I am so pleased you've graduated. Give yourself a huge pat on the back and a hug, because you really deserve it. Have a cup of earl grey at least?
Re mood swings - I recently read that over-training can affect the body in a very similar way to depression. Repeated over-exertion is a drain on the immune system/limbic system and can cause a rise in cortisol (this is from memory and may not be accurate scientifically, but the gist of it is) which may be responsible for the ghastly early morning waking and low mood.
Those of us (quite a few, I suspect) that have taken up running to help with mood issues, may also have a tendency to be very hard on ourselves and aim for rather unrealistic targets. Which can lead to overtraining, which then does the exact opposite of what we're after. But if we don't realise why we feel worse, we punish ourselves even more for not succeeding. So do take care not to push yourself too hard.
You are a lovely caring person - tell yourself that and care about yourself enough to believe it.
I've had the mood and panic problems for over 30 years. I inherited them from my Dad (I would have preferred his musical talents!) and unfortunately my older daughter has inherited them from me. There are worse things in life! x
Congratulaions on completing the C25K plan, earl-grey-sian! That is a great achievement especially with all your health issues - and continuing through the winter too, which I imagine aggravated your asthma...?
I hope at some point you'll feel up to giving yourself a big pat on the back as you look forward to rest of your running life.
EGS, you continue to amaze and inspire myself and many others. When i think i am having a bad run because my feet ache, i read one of your blogs and everything is alright with the world.You will know that i have been having problems in my own world and the matter we discussed yesterday was a very real fear for me. Your reaction to that made me realise that my problems are really not that important. You put me straight with your no nonsense advice for which i thank you. I love you Sian x x x
Congratulations on pushing through and smashing W9R3! Obviously your sheer focussedness meant you missed all of your fellow C25Kers waving virtual pom poms as you smashed the final 30 minutes of the program
Oh, and less of the 'only' please, as in 'only managed.....' you have just ran for 30 minutes you should be saying you smashed 2.25 miles because I know in week 1 I never thought I'd manage 50 yards never mind distances into miles Give yourself a huge smile for achieving something all of us think is impossible in week 1 - <---- like this!
Seriously though, well done and best of luck with your post-grad running x x x
Congratulations EGS - you are a real inspiration. Look forward to seeing the green badge. Hopefully your mood will lift very soon and you will get to enjoy your achievement.
Congratulations - it is an achievement and one you have been pleased to see others reach so recognise what you have done and how far you have come. I think when you come to the end there is a bit of anxiety of what to do once the challenge is over. I am just enjoying listening to my own music and consolidating the 30 min . I hope you continue to enjoy your running.
Congrats EGS, you have done brilliantly; I have loved reading your posts and had no idea of your problems; go get your graduation badge and order a graduate Tshirt, be proud of every footstep and breath you have invested in this, and carry on giving us all great advice!
Congratulations! Wear your badge with pride and know you earned it! Thank you for being the caring person you are to so many here on the board. I know your having problems but I can only hope you will be richly blessed for the concern and love you share. Gayle
Congratulations!! & in answer to your question, no that's not it - you have many lovely healthy runs ahead of you, whatever you choose for your next aim. Keep hold of that sheer bloody mindedness, it will come in handy!
Sian!!! Babycakes!! course its not it!! its just the beginning
get setting yourself another challenge - you can do it, because you did this!!
you should take on board what our fellow runners have put on here - give yourself a huge pat on the back, a big cheer, a whoop whoop and grin like a cheshire cat!!
we've all got our demons, they're all different and of varying degrees, but a big common factor is our ability to run (in whatever style and however fast) and this here supportive forum.
keep us all updated, in whatever you do. You're a lovely supportive lady who deserves good things.
Well done Sian. It is odd when you finish the last run. We probably build up the expectation in our head quite high. Then when we finish we look around and there is no one there. No cheering crowds and the world carries on much the same as before and so does our day. But we know that we have achieved something real, which has taken real work and effort and sometimes pain. I hope you feel proud of yourself and that you carry on running, I'm sure you will. Enjoy your new level of fitness and a nice cup of Earl Grey!
Sian, you are an inspiration. To make it through c25k and a particularly nasty last run is amazing when one is well and life is easy, so you have done especially brilliantly - very well done. I hope that the fireworks, applause, pompoms etc kick in when you can take a minute or two to appreciate what you've achieved, but if not, don't worry 'cos all your friends on here are cheering for you. Congratulations on your graduation and all best wishes for your future runs.
Sian, I've only just read this, and am so in awe with what you have done. The lovely comments from everybody are amazing, and it all brought a tear to my eye. You are a strong person because you have completed what you set out to do, irrespective of the hurdles and challenges along the way. So sending you lots of congratulations and hugs, you deserve it. And keep on running and blogging, you are an inspiration!
Well done Sian, this made such lovely reading, all these people are sending you those fireworks and balloons you wanted 'and deserve' me too, congratulations xx
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W4r2 My God! That was hard!!!
First run after being told I am in the Pilgrims Hospice Team for the London BigHalf Marathon 2020
That was one psychologically challenging run! 
Graduated at last whoop whoop! Oh and a few tears!!
A bit disappointed :(
