This morning I heard of the death of a friend’s mother. Last week it was another friend’s mother, and a couple of months before that yet another. I suppose we have all reached that age when parents die, and we have to shuffle forward into the front line facing mortality. Tears ran down my cheeks on the way to the Heath - all these recent deaths bringing back the loss of my own parents in the last six years.
But there’s nothing like death to remind us of the preciousness of life.
Today I didn’t need Laura, or music or beats per minute or anything else to get me running. It was enough that the sky was blue, the sun was shining, the air was crisp and the world is a beautiful place to be. Even the sound of my gasping breath seemed amazing, having listened to the shallow breaths of the dying, so imperceptible that it's hard to tell when they have stopped.
Today, running across icy puddles, leaves rimmed with frost and rutted mud, I ran with all the people I’ve known who no longer can.
Who cares how fast or how far we can run? The wonder is that we can run at all. Let’s celebrate every moment of it while we are able.
Written by
londongirln19
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It does. And it's the title of a great book by Muriel Spark.
My mum is in an advanced state of dementia and only truly alive in body. I really miss her. As I miss my father, in the early stages of the same disease, but rapidly going downhill. While you have parent(s) you are still a child. Even in your late fifties, your mum is your mum.
Delia, that must be hard to cope with. I used to take my German shephard dogs into a residential home once a month, where they specialised in looking after people with Dementia. This was a lovely home, where people were looked after really well (hence stimulation from visitors with pets, etc). It really touched me and made me realise what a terrible condition this is for families. My heart goes out to you xx
Thanks Vixiej! I try to look on the bright even darkly comical side of the situation. Mum stores raw eggs with her underwear, sugar under the bed and stuff like that. In ant other circumstance that would be hilarious, so I try to smile ... otherwise I would be constantly crying xox
I'm so glad that you were all touched by this. After I posted it I wondered if it was a bit maudlin, but the point I was trying to make is that when we run we celebrate living and that is what the people who loved us who are no longer around would want.I'm glad it touched you all.
Wonderful blog, thank you so much for writing it. I'm crying now but only because it's so true. I lost my Mum 6 years ago and it's like yesterday. You remind me how precious life is and I shall run with her tomorrow. There's nothing maudlin about joy!
Six years sometimes feels like no time at all, doesn't it? I still hear something on the radio and think - I must tell Vera about that - and then remember that I can't.
Well said! Tears running down my cheeks as I type this as like many others i have lost both my parents. .they would have been so proud of what I have achieved with my running.
We all need to keep celebrating life and keep on running for the simple reason that we can x
I'm sure your parents would be overjoyed to see your achievements. It's a bit like becoming a child again , isn't it? - Running of the sheer joy of it. The naked run - not worrying about gadgets - sounds like a great idea.
A beautiful and poignant blog and like many others I have lived through the death of both my parents. Running allows me to take time out to remember them and to share my joy at this new found freedom. London girl19 your blog is not maudlin but quite the opposite, happy running x
Lovely blog Londongirl! Very touching and reminded me of the many lives I've been privileged to witness. I was unable to be with either parent at their passing, but your words do bring back the feelings I had of being an "orphan" once my Dad died. I was 30 then.
Life is a celebration-so savour the moment. The past has gone, the present is today, tomorrow a gift.
I was talking about being an orphan to my friend yesterday. I was in my 50's when both my parents died and that word - with its connotations of Oliver Twist - feels inappropriate as an adult but the feeling that the only people who have always been in our life have gone for ever is very real.
I run with a swimsuit under my running tights because I swim at the end of each run - it's so unflattering - not so much visible panty line as continental divide. I think Trinny and Susanna would say I appear to have four buttocks. Ugh.
I suspect that is what I look like, big knickers seem best but always have to wear then incase I have an accident and end up in hospital or my running tights split!!
I think this is a beautiful blog. It totally sums up running and the whole damn point of life - which is living and, paradoxically, that can only be realised when it's accepted that the only certainty is death.
lovely blog. I ran with my brother along the seafront at Deal a couple of weeks ago, less than a week after he passed. It was beautiful, my loveliest run ever, remembering so many things as I ran past places we'd shared with friends and listening to music we'd played over and over.
I lost more than my fair share of friends at a young age, several motorcyle accidents, asthma, drug overdoses, grandparents, by the time I was 25/26 I'd lost count of funerals. In the last 7 years I lost my mum and dad, both relatively young, and my cousin's baby and her dad. I must admit that losing my brother was a curve ball, I didn't think that would happen for at least another 10 years, but it is what it is. As you said, life is for living and I have to say that running is something that has really helped me to cope over the last few weeks. Although I skimped a bit this week, I had a fab run tonight when I made myself go out. A good reminder that I will benefit from doing it 3 times a week!!
I'm so sorry for all your losses, especially your brother's recent death. I'm glad that running is helping your grieving. There is something meditative about it, isn't there, that allows us to let the thoughts flow as our feet cover the ground.
Thanks for sharing this. I totally agree that we should spend more time just enjoying the moment, life is too short and often it is the simple things which bring us alive. Running is a great way to do this and if we don't run for joy, why bother.
So true. Like lots of people here I started running because a 'big' birthday - my 60th at the end of October - was looming and I wanted to do everything I could to stay as active as possible for as long as possible.
Thanks for your touching post Londongirl. It really hit a nerve with me. I lost my Mum recently, Dad died years ago, and most of my relatives have passed too. I really miss Mum and will be running with her tomorrow. I know she would have been supportive and always wanting to know how I am getting on. My big 60 is at the end of October next year and I am determined to be fitter and slimmer than I am today. My first run is tomorrow! I live in Wales, where "it always rains" and just lately that has never been so true. But never mind, as you say, life is beautiful and I celebrate whatever the weather brings. Good luck with your runs.x
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