Joining the community as it gets that little bit tougher...

[Lazy_moo]

I completed week 5 run 3 today and amongst doing night shifts, I got up at midday today to go for a run! My dedication to completing this course has rocketed since starting week five. I can't go more than 2 days rest without feeling like I'm going to lose all the stamina I've built up and therefore I'm desperate to go for a run. This feeling of actually wanting to do exercise is very alien to me but I am embracing it with both arms!

Ill let you know a bit about me and my reasons for starting the 0 to 5k. I'm 6ft 2 and I stick out like a sore thumb! I'm not one of these beanpole models types either. I'm curvy and have been ever since I was young. I was diagnosed with M.E. at the age of 6 and struggled to stay awake once I'd got home from school. At one point I would have to sleep during lunch breaks to make it through junior school. Tiredness was something I was used to and with it exercise was something I was never involved in and no one ever pushed me to do any. My parents would always say how I couldn't possibly do certain activities when I went to brownie or guide camp and so I never tried. So I carried on eating the bad food and had no way of burning it off like all the other kids running around at my age.

When I became a teenager I managed to get my tiredness under control. I would know when I'd overdone it and when I needed to rest but exercise was something I still avoided. I got through college and started university. I met a new boyfriend and the weight crept on. I stayed at home until the last year of uni when I moved in with my boyfriend. I was suddenly away from all the people who told me I could not be "fit" and I was surrounded by self conscious friends who split their time between partying, uni and going to the gym. I also had control over the food I was eating. I didn't have a lot of money whilst at uni so my diet was light.

I decided to join a gym. I didn't really push myself but the combination of the gym and the diet made me lose nearly 3 stone. I went from 14st11 to 12st in 6 months. I was so proud of myself. But as my relationship crumbled I moved back home with my parents. Food in the house wasn't always healthy and the gym membership near home was nearly double the price.

Over a few months and after finding my current boyfriend i noticed how much weight had crept back on. I'd gone up to 13st10 and was devastated. I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I remember how good I felt at 12st and decided to do something about it. A few friends who lived near by had enrolled at the gym and I considered doing so. I downloaded the nhs BMI tracker to my phone to record my weight and found the 0-5k run advertised. As money was tight this seemed like the perfect way to exercise without breaking the bank.

I started out and was not confident that I would even complete week one. I had all the comments in the back of my mind telling me I wouldn't be able to do it. I would get dressed into my running kit and sit for ages procrastinating over whether I should go or not. I'd rather not go and know that that was my choice than go, try and fail. Since week 4 I've pushed myself harder and harder and I haven't really spoken to many about my secret exercising. I don't plaster it over Facebook or constantly talk about it. This is because this is my achievement and I am proud of myself and not only is it me proving others wrong but it is me having self confidence in doing so.

The few friends and family I told made clear that they were surprised that I was taking up running but all seemed supportive. Now on week 5, those people admitted to me that they thought I'd give up after a couple of weeks, if that. They seemed genuinely proud of my achievements so far but nothing has made me feel better than how proud I feel of myself. I've proven to my unconfident side that if I put my mind to it I can do anything and after completing 20minutes solid running I believe I can do just that.

I wanted to join this forum because its nice to see others who are feeling the pain like me. I get a stitch during the first brisk 5 minute warm up walk, I hurt and sometimes I just want to stop. This is all short term though, the long term effects of what I am doing are starting to take hold. I am more energetic, happier and more self confident than ever.

You can do anything if you just believe in yourself, don't listen to those who try to put you down or believe they have your best interests at heart. Only you know what is right for you and you need to grab it with both hands and take it for yourself because you all deserve it.

I look forward to reading all your stories and hopefully in 4 weeks and just before Christmas I will be graduating :).

Xx

[BigEd]

Hi Lazy, an inappropriate name by the sounds of it! It sounds like you have been through the mill but are getting on top of things, well done to you. When i see someone running who is obviously overweight, they have my respect far more than a bean pole runner whizzing along. Those who are heavy (me) and have decided to something about are moving mountains in an effort to improve themselves and their lives. We all deserve a pat on the back. Keep going, keep posting and really good luck, Ed x

[magster Graduate]

What a truly lovely heartfelt blog. Well done, you are an inspiration to all of us. I am sure that graduating will be a lovely Christmas present for you. Happy running

[Vivwestie Graduate]

Amazing inspirational blog, Lazy - (you have got to change that name!). Everthing you say is spot on. About doing it for yourself, The pride and confidence. And how you discover that determined (or arrogant bastard) within, that won't let you give up. Bloody well done - you are an inspiration. Keep running. V xx

[DeliaItaly Graduate]

Welcome to the community Lazy! Very, very well done. Look forward to reading the rest of your amazing story!

[JoP1 Graduate]

Lovely blog, and it's a fantastic programme, as long as you have the belief that you can finish it you will. I struggled to run for 60 seconds when I started in August and managed 6k the other day.

You are right it does give you a massive confidence boost - keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing your graduation post

[oona Graduate]

Best of luck for the rest of the programme, Lazy! I haven't anything to add to the advice and encouragement from the others but just wanted to lend my heartfelt support for your journey.

[vixiej Graduate]

you made me cry Lazy_moo, nobody does that usually

I'm so glad you are making up now for all those negative comments, our brains are funny things, we find it hard to accept compliments and yet so easy to believe the negative. I have absolutely no doubt that you will complete this course and I suspect you will go beyond 5K in the future, now you have the bug. What a fantastic christmas present you are giving to yourself and setting yourself up to have the best New Year ever. Well done. We're all proud of you and cheering you on! Go girl!

[gaterunner Graduate]

So good to read about how well you are doing and what it is doing for your life and confidence. I'll be looking for your graduation blog. Keep on running. Jan

[sfb350 Graduate]

What a lovely blog ! You've done fantastically well and deserve to feel proud. Well done !

[psarapsych Graduate]

I just can't call you that.... I agree with Vivwestie - you just can't tell a lie - right now you are not that name - WELL DONE YOU. You are what you are now, what you've become and what you are doing - this is YOU and YOU are amazingly determined and the belief you have in yourself is just brilliant.

You ARE doing something for you AND, what's more you're addicted, like the rest of us LOL!!! This is a real endorphin pushers' forum and WOW, look at you, you're hooked and doing just BRILL, BRILL, BRILL.

Keep going YOU :-). Yours is a truly motivating and inspiring story and what a huge amount of positive energy you have inside you - I wonder if it always was there lying dormant somewhere??? Just look what you have achieved with all those years of others telling you what to believe about yourself and you've just gone and shown them you are made of other, wonderful stuff.

I could just go on and on, I'm so impressed

WELL DONE, Sara

[Lazy_moo Graduate]

Thanks everyone for your kind comments. I didn't realise how much I'd written until I'd posted it. I want to prove everyone wrong and only I can do that. If you want something you have to take it and I'm starting to believe in myself for a change. Week 6 run 1 will either be today or tomorrow as I was given 5 nights shifts in a row which makes it difficult to find the time to do it when it's light enough.

What a lovely group of people on this forum, I look forward to hearing more motivational stories.

If you dont succeed, try and try again

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