I've lost my mojo

[unfit]

I seem to have lost my mojo so if anybody finds it, please send it back!!! This was supposed to be the big week. The week that I graduated. Week 9 run 1 went well, but since then it's just been down hill. Run 2 was completed but probably in the slowest time I've ever done. I just couldn't get going. Through gritted teeth I managed to keep running for 30 mins but it was painfully slow almost walking at times. I was determined to do my last run well and go out with a bang. So I gave myself 2 good rest days, and as it was very hot yesterday left it until 8 in the evening to go out. Everything was in my favour, the temperature was perfect, it was dry underfoot, I was really feeling good about going out and graduating. As I drove to my route I could feel myself getting nervous. Why? It was just another run. My heart was pounding before I'd even started. Never mind I thought, you'll be ok once you start. I did the five min walk then started to run. Without pushing myself I knew I was running faster than usual but it was just the speed that came naturally, and I was enjoying it. When I reached the first hill I decided to try a bit harder so instead of slowing right down I tried to keep up my speed. Big mistake. I made it up the hill but it finished me off. I managed to keep going for another 10 mins which meant I had done 2 of my three hills. From then on it was flat or down hill right to the end where I finish on a slight uphill. But I just couldnt do it. I told myself the hard bits were over, I'd done this run so many times and this was the big one but my legs, my breathing and even my arms wouldn't listen and I came to a stop. I started to walk back to the car and after 5 mins felt much better and ran the rest of the way back, but I'd only run about 20 mins in total. What a big disappointment . The next time I go out will be Thursday and I've got to do it then but am worried that this last run will be playing on my mind. It's def. a mental thing.if I do manage it, will I have graduated or do I need to have done 3 consecutive 30 min runs without a fail in the middle. Somehow I will feel that I have not succeeded and it's taken the shine off finishing if I don't do it properly.

[H123 Graduate]

Good runs and bad runs-hopefully you will just take the fact that youre running! I was really disappointed with my monday run last week and then didnt motivet myself til my first park run on saturday which was good. Sometimes a few extra days helps and you surprise yourself with a good run. Im scared of not being able to run continuosly-but will try them again because i think it will help me improve distance/stamina and also help me not feel so gutted if I have to walk! Good luck and I sure your mojo is just hiding from the sun, not emigrated!