This forum has magic that I do not understand. With many thanks for everybody who replied to my previous post, and special thanks to Wolvesmad who somehow kicked my ass and whose words got through to me.
So I did it. I decided to change, even though I expected to sit on the couch with it thinking why would I even bother to change. BUT! I didn't. I did a warm up exercises that could be a stand alone 10 min total body cardio:
My stomach was all over the place. I was tired and panting thinking why the hell did I just do it. How am I now supposed to go for a run? So I pour myself a glass of water and had few sips. I put my breathing and heartbeat to the level of "OK, I don't need ambulance anymore". I thought, OK I am tired, I am hot, I am in my running gear. I put headphones on, additional fleece headband, buff, shoes, I started my app to let me know every 5 min that I am doing amazing, I set a goal of 15 min (very optimistic of me). And I opened the front door. The cold air hugged me tight. I did half of a step back, took a deep breath, and got out.
Straight to very slow jog, that transformed to slow jog quite fast as I was cold - not enough layers on my hands and lack of gloves. My stomach definitely wasn't in a mood for running and I kept thinking "should I pause to have a quick empty-stomach-on-the-side moment?", but I kept going ,pardon me, with a lot of burping, and all sort of unpleasant noises. I did very small loop. After about 7 minutes focusing on the next 10 yards or so, running just because it was warmer than walking. I got warm just near the end. I happily cross the door after 13m44s of total run time (see photo). Did first 3 strengthening exercises (the ones with the small bands) from:
Followed by some stretching. By body ached thanking me and cursing me at the same time. Thanking for finally moving my butt (literally) and cursing that I didn't do anything for so many days in a row.
My rewards:
- no guilt
- warm shower
- early in bed (still doing things, but under the warm duvet)
- happy body (at least most of it)
- hot tea with honey and lemon
Still looking for:
- joy
Thankful for:
- this forum
- my running family
- friends in here
- my body that it survived
- my mind that it knows when to ask for help (with the biggest chance of success )
Don't give up! Just go! You can do it!
Written by
IgaT
Graduate
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Dear IgaT! I wrote the post shortly. I was a bit depressing: A tough week, a tough weekend, a challenging next week. Second run in this week with pain. Winter, snow ...
You know what? I'll tell you the secret: I hate jogging! Actually, I hate sports in general.
I do not watch them on television, I do not know sports stars.
Athletes always seemed strange to me.
And you know what? I run. And I do not want to go out every time.
I ALWAYS want to stay home!
But when I look at myself in the mirror, I see that I have to
(I know it's not your case but it helps me.. :-)).
I have something to do with myself, if I want to be "functional" for some time in the future.
I can see it: The body degrades due to age. Body fat due to age.
And the only way to force the body to work is a strain.
Unfortunately.
Not too big - otherwise the body will revolt.
Not too small, otherwise our body will cheat us.
It's a tough thing. I hate it! I'd rather do million other things.
But eventually I get up and go.
I was born in a very flat city more south. Now I live in the north where are the hills.
I love the heat, now I live in a city where it is cold for most of the year.
I have more years than I wish, and I would like it to be different.
Maybe I will not run 10km or half marathon.
But going to run three times a week is more than I ever thought I could.
And that's also a lot of thanks to you. Thanks to your encouragement, I did not give up.
So I'm giving you a little bit now, I hope.
I'm afraid to stop because I know I would stop completely.
I'm still waiting for those endorphins and joy of jogging. It does not work. It's mainly hard work for me. I enjoy joy from music, from friendship, but not from jogging... still waiting, it comes, I hope.
So I'm trying so far.
I get up and go. And next time again. And next time again. I hope, next time... again ..
You're brave, you do not have to run a million miles. Each short run is counted. Because it is victory over ourselves. At least in my case it is.
I know you will not give up! And I'm looking forward to the next post from you! ๐
Oh my... You made me cry... You left me speechless...
You made me feel grateful. And it's damn hard to write through tears.
You kept me going so many times. But this reply just knocked me over with honesty, friendship, power, fellowship, and so many more than I cannot even name.
The joy will come for both of us. I had couple of decent runs that I felt good. I remember in the past this pure joy and something that feels like running gods are with you, or having go-go-gadget legs As I am mentally struggling a lot recently, I am looking forward to those feelings. I share the feeling that I never want to go out. I almost always am happy that I did.
You are right, our bodies are not getting younger. My body is playing tricks on me. I used to love exercises, then I stopped (partially due to injury), I stopped for way too many years, and now it feels like chores, it is hard. But we are both going out there and doing what we can! And you know what? We are doing great!
I wrote my previous post, as I knew that I stopped for too long and I was in a red danger zone of falling out and going back to couch to start again in the spring or some day. As I don't agree too just get old. I still want to enjoy my life, explore the world, climb, run, have fun, be able to do whatever I want and not be limited by my ageing body.
We are doing great!
And you know, I found here a great friend, I would even risk to say a soulmate. I didn't expect it. So, we will keep going my friend! Thank you for every kind word, for every push that I needed. And see you on our next run
I am very happy that I could have helped you. I am sure I only assisted a little, and that you would do it without me as well. If you felt you have a debt, consider it paid off.
Let's run together on Friday. I will do my best and try a longer run. But I do promise you that this Friday I will go out for a run, even if it will be only 10 minutes. I will try the longer one though.
You know, sometimes we need encouragement, sometimes we "need permission" to slack, sometimes we need a gentle push, and sometimes we need a solid kick in the butt Yesterday you definitely got the right one
I have a running "date" with lusmo on Friday. Although far away from each other and probably on different times, but you know how it is I can't stand him up.
Love this when I read your last post it sounded like you were feeling a bit like me...well, o lot like me actually...but you've done it and you feel better for it I'm sure...no over-thinking...just go xxx well done girl xxx
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