After many more weeks than 9, I do believe I've actually got to graduation. Can't believe it.!!
Actually I really finished my week 9 a couple of weeks ago. But even after that last run it just felt so very hard, really hard, no matter how slow. And I run with my dogs and had to stop to hold them for other runners to pass so I kinda felt that was a running cheat.
I've been doing 3 runs a week since, very slooooow , but pushing through the mental chatter and toxic 10 which try and dissuade. Before every run I have to psych myself up, it would be so easy to give up. And yesterday was no different with plenty of mental grumbles until about 20mins in.
And then I realised that I was just fine plodding along, and then at 30 I realised I was still fine , same at 35 ( which I've done a few times just getting to 4K) so I carried on because I bizarrely could and of course it was cooler than any running day for the last 8 weeks.
So I clocked in at 5 K in 45mins and stopped for fear of having some bit of me breakdown or drop off! So I feel I really have achieved my initial goal now, not that it was 5k but that I found a place where it was good and rewarding to be running and I was very happy to get a glimpse of that.
THANK YOU for all your support on here...I am totally sure I would have given up without it.