Feeling utterly bereft

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post but I'm feeling very lost. Yesterday morning I went for my w9/r2, it was a beautiful sunny morning and the run went well. A couple of hours after posting on here, two policemen turned up at our house as they'd found our beautiful boy cat who'd been hit by a car and had passed away. I feel so absolutely devastated that I feel I just need to vent somewhere (apologies if this isn't the right place). He was a rescue boy that we took in about 18 months ago ironically after our other boy cat died in similar circumstances. He was so nervous when we took him in, only about 6 months old with a rubbish start to life but he grew into such a handsome and confident boy. It took a lot of patience and hard work to get him to that point and I felt so very proud of him as he was so courageous and became a family member so quickly. He was found on the lane where I go running so of course I'm now going through the whole guilt of if I'd gone at a different time things may not have turned out this way etc.

I'm due to do my graduation run tomorrrow but it's really the last thing I feel like doing. There's then another part of me that wants to do it in his memory as I feel like we've both been on a journey that was tough to begin with it but surprised us both at what we could achieve.

Apologies again if this is too public a place to post this but I feel like this forum is so supportive in many ways.

Thank you

31 Replies

  • oh no that is terrible news. Losing a member of the family is always so very painful and sometimes people don't understand how much a part of our family and lives our animal family members become.

    I think it is a lovely idea to do your graduation run in his honor especially for the journey you have both been on - run proud for both of you with your head held high :-)


  • Thank you Lou xx

  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. A sudden loss of a pet is such a shock. When I was a child, our dog followed me down the road and was run over by a lorry, so I know that exact feeling you are referring to :( . But you cannot blame yourself, as it is something which could have happened at any time. Focus on the fact that as a rescue, he had more years of love than he might have otherwise had. Go on your run, think about the good things while you run. Don't be surprised if your mind lets you think he is behind you. It may be bittersweet as a run, but you will in time be glad that you completed it.

    Big hugs to you xx

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your dog Diamonte, that must've been awful. The police thought it'd happened in the early hours of the morning. It's stupid I know as it was obvious it was extremely quick so he'd have been gone for a while but I keep thinking why didn't I see him when I ran along the lane and feel so guilty that I didn't even though there was nothing I could've done for him :( xx

  • Hi Louisella, I am so sorry for your loss.

    Lots of animal lovers on here , who can understand how you feel, so please don't feel you have to apologise.

    Losing a much loved pet is heart breaking. When I lost my first pug, Poppy ( hence my user name ) it took me ages to get over her, every time I thought about how she passed , it was like a kick in the guts .

    I think you should do your Graduation Run tomorrow, it will be very bitter sweet but a lovely fitting tribute to your beautiful boy.

    Its so true , they do leave pawprints in our hearts .....

    Big hugs (((( )))) xxxx

  • Thank you poppypug, you're right, they do leave huge pawprints on our hearts (that's a very lovely way of putting it) xx

  • Hi,

    I lost 2 cats some years ago---I really understand how it hard it is.

    My username is after my cats--Harvey and Emma. They are like family members and they never let you down.

    You gave him a really good home and did your best for him.

    take good care and continue with your running.

    You can always let us know how you are doing.

  • thank you harveyemm xx

  • Louisella, you are right to post here, we all understand lifes experiences and losing a pet especially in an accident ,is always heartbreaking. When i lost my dog 3 years ago he had had along happy life but it still hit me so hard. Do the run in his memory for your graduation .

    I lost my mum on Sunday, and posted here and the level of support has been fantastic. its not all about the running, we are people too and lifes down times can be made easier by talking x

  • Thank you aliboo, I'm so very sorry to hear about your mum, I've just posted on your other thread. I hope you feel her with you during this difficult time xx

  • So sorry for your loss louisella I lost my cat, also a rescue, a few years ago so completely understand how you must feel.

    Doing your graduation run in memory is a wonderful and fitting tribute .

  • Thank you slow_rob x

  • Thank you all for your kind words, I'm really touched that people have taken the time to respond. I've always been a big animal lover and to us they are a massive part of our family - we don't have children, just fur babies. The loss feels so acute especially as we were still grieving for our other boy Sammy who we lost nearly two years ago. Although time is some sort of healer, there isn't a day goes by where I don't think about Sammy or feel him in the room nearby. Our greatest fear having gone through that with him was that something similar would happen to one of our other cats and now it has with Ernest. What makes me so angry is we live out in the middle of nowhere so not much traffic but there are still some idiot drivers who insist on putting their foot down and going too fast. Our little boy Ernie didn't stand a chance, he wasn't even 3 so only a baby and had so much of his life ahead of him xx

  • Oh dear Lou, so sorry to hear your sad news. Good of the police to let you know. At least you know what happened and won't be involved in a fruitless search 😯 Your puss was obviously enjoying life with you so no recriminations. These things happen, sadly, but you can remember him with happiness, not sadness. So, chin up and prepare to polish off that run!

    You can tell us all about it when you get back 😊

  • Thank you Miss Wobble (great user name by the way :) ). You're right, it is some comfort that at last we know what happened x

  • This breaks my heart, I'm so sorry for your loss. When I lost a friend under tragic circumstances earlier in the year I went for a cathartic run. No rules on speed, distance, etc. It felt good and seemed to help process some of the emotions. I hope running brings you some comfort.

  • Thank you, and I'm so sorry for your loss too, life really sucks sometimes hey. I''m hoping like you say that it'll be catharthic x

  • We lost our rescue cat, Toby aka The Nutter is similar circumstances a couple of years ago and you have my sympathies.

  • Thank you x

  • So sad when you lose a pet, they are such a part of the family. My lovely Labrador Tilley did the whole of C25K with me at the end of last year, and sadly she didn't make through an emergency operation at New Year. Being outside in the fresh air, and doing some exercise all helped immensely with dealing with the sadness, so I say go for your graduation run and you'll be glad you did, take care 🏃

  • Oh that's so sad, I'm so sorry for your loss x

  • Oh, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. <<hugs>>

    It is always sad to lose a pet as they are like a member of our family. At least you know that you gave him a happy life after a rubbish start and he truly knew how it felt to be loved.

    I know you don't feel your heart will be in it - but I think you should definitely go for your graduation run. Run with your boy in your heart - he'll be with you all the way and you'll finish strong. xx

  • Thank you Sarah, I love the last line in particular and will remember it when I run xx

  • Cats are unique pets for the freedom we give them. I've only lost one (of many) to a car and it was awful... although we too were blessed with being told straight away, so no anxiety only the awful sadness and emptiness.

    Microchip your pets folks... legal requirement for dogs now but so worth it for cats too. We had one restored to us after nearly a year missing... some kind people stopped after hitting her and got her to our vet and she was OK (although she needs an indoor C25K - she's decided to stay indoors and has become very round!)

    It's so hard when they've not had as long or as happy a life as you'd hope. Be really kind to yourself and be very proud of all the work you did.

  • Thank you for your lovely words and yes definitely microchip all the way!

    Our girl cat could definitely do with an indoor C25K - as the vet said to me when he last weighed her '"well she's 4kg...however she's not built to be 4kg"

  • Oh no, that's so sad. Hugs from a fellow cat addict.

  • Thank you x

  • Awww so very sad for you and your family - we're a cat-loving family too and lost our lovely Harry Boy (Hazza) six months ago - I still miss his furry little face - so, grieve for your boy and run that run in his memory and honour - hugs to you, xxx

  • Thank you and so sorry for your loss too xx

  • Microchipping is vital! My husband once knocked over a cat on his way to meet a coach to take him with his mates on a stag night. He scraped up the still alive cat (just) and drove to the cop shop. They found him the vet on duty, which he duly drove to, and had the cat seen by the on-duty vet. They said it looked bad but to leave his number and they would advise. He then set off covered in blood and gore to catch his bus which was by this time long gone. The vet phoned him in the morning to say the cat had made it and they had located its owner by means of a phone call to the local post office, near to where the cat was knocked down. There was no microchipping back then but it would have saved hours in locating the owners. My husband had to drive to the stag do, which was miles away in Wakefield. He was pleased to have been able to help having knocked it over.

  • So sorry for your loss. Pets come into our lives and steal our hearts. Run for Ernest.

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