I meant to do my graduation run last Saturday, so I could reward myself with a shopping trip later that day to get some new running shoes (and maybe a little something else). However I woke up that morning with a migraine, so running would not have been a good idea.
Later on Saturday my husband persuaded me, since we were near the shops anyway, that even though I hadn't graduated we should 'just go and have a look' in the sports shop. Fast forward an hour or so later and I emerge with a whole set of spanking brand new Nike kit - leggings, t-shirt, shoes (my own shoes! not my son's hand-me-downs)... and a proper sports bra for the first time!!!
Much umming and ahhing and discussion about whether I should wear the new kit the next day for my graduation run. Husband suggests I do the last run of C25K in the kit I've always worn and save the new stuff until after graduation.
The next day, I dunno.. something's missing when I go off to do my graduation run. That excitement that I've read in everyone else's posts when they've graduated - I'm not feeling it, myself. It all feels like a bit of an anti-climax somehow. And then on the podcast I hear Laura's words at the beginning of the session ..something like 'You're coming to the finish of what you set out to do which is "running for 30 minutes, AROUND 5 KILOMETRES"'
For some reason, and I know I've read so many comments that it's NOT about being able to run 5k, it's the 30 minutes that counts, and I know people have said it in reply to one of my posts about being disheartened about distance.. but for some reason a thought flashed through my head "Oh no! But I can only barely do 4k!!!!"
And that, I'm afraid, is the spirit under which I began my 'graduation' run. And I thought, well, I'd better get a move on then! and maybe I started off too fast, but after a couple of minutes I was pretty much gasping and really uncomfortable and for the first time ever since I started this programme - I WALKED WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN RUNNING...
I had to stop in all 3 times to walk - perhaps no longer than 30 seconds at a time, but I felt a complete failure.
The last time I stopped was because a fit young runner was coming the other way and my dog was loose, so I stopped to put him on the lead so as not to bother her. But I noticed that this young, fit girl running towards me was actually not going all that fast, and this gave me a boost, and then after that I ran all the way (15 minutes) to the end. But it was still a huge struggle and I could hardly wait for Laura to tell me I could walk again.
So I walked home completely demoralised, and NOT a graduate.
Anyway, since then I've noticed that I've even been getting breathless running up the stairs again now. But also this week I've developed a couple of nasty ulcers at the back of my mouth, and one in my throat. So I think maybe I'm run down, or have a virus or something.. and I'm hoping that could explain why my breathing hasn't been great. I really hope I haven't lost all that fitness I had before... My absolute best run was Week 8 Run 1 when I ran 28 minutes in comparative ease, feeling like a proper runner - and certainly not with any breathing difficulties.
So I might try the graduation run again on Monday, but I'll see how I feel. I don't want to rush back into it and put myself off again. But I'm pretty demoralised, and my confidence and 'bounce' has taken a real knock.