Carers

Hi Guys I have been told and know that I need help with personal care but I really don't know how to deal with a stranger helping me on a personal level so I just keep refusing even though I know I need the help. How can I just swallow my pride and let some complete stranger wash me? Would or did you? Can you get to know someone a little better before you let them perform your ablutions? HELP.

[Feelingblessed2013]

I'm still having a hard time asking anyone for any kind of help, but I am learning. At one point I had to have a nurse come to my home three times a week to clean and dress an open abdominal wound. My husband had to help me with my temporary colostomy bag, that was tough. I look at it this way..I will do what I have to do, after all what really matters is that I'm still here.

I wish you all the best.

[Hidden in reply to Feelingblessed2013]

HI Katherine thanks for your reply. I am fine with medical help. It's a stranger coming into your home and taking your clothes off and washing your body that I am finding impossible to deal with. I know I will have to get over it but just can't seem to find a way. X

[Feelingblessed2013 in reply to Hidden]

I know, it's not easy. But you can do it. Like I said, we do what we have to do.

[Hidden in reply to Feelingblessed2013]

I haven't had a bath shower or hair wash for the last 2 years. It actually doesn't bother me even though I used to do all daily. What really bothers me is that I can't cook and eat fresh food just crappie ready meals in the microwave. Sorry just ranting X

[Feelingblessed2013 in reply to Hidden]

Can you get a hot meal delivered once a day? We have "meals on wheels" for elderly/disabled/shut-ins. The meals they deliver aren't always hot, but they are nutritious.

Maybe check with your local Social Services or Senior Services? Maybe a local church can get volunteers to cook/deliver a hot dinner for you a few times a week?

[Gee1963 in reply to Feelingblessed2013]

Hi I have mild copd myself my job is homecarer I’ve bern doing it over 4 years now it’s the best but hardest job I’ve ever had every person I’ve been or still go to are really nice all the girls love and really care for the people we see we do morning getting up. Wash dressed dinner calls tea time call evening calls putting to all ages at 1st I didn’t think I could do the job I hate not see all the great people I’ve met if had to I’d do my job fit Free hope this helps having strangers in your home can be hard but I alway treat the homes and poeple how I’d want someone to treat my mum if she was still with me hope this help s

[Jensmom in reply to Hidden]

Be very careful not bathing as it could lead to serious infections or other medical issues. I know it's hard and I struggle every time I shower. But I use a seat and I stop for a bit if I get winded, then continue. I'm just concerned you could get very ill not staying clean.

[Hidden in reply to Jensmom]

Very ill from what exactly? Not bathing.

[Jensmom in reply to Hidden]

I'm sorry, maybe I worded it wrong, I meant that she may get sores or a staff like infection if she has an open scratch or anything and dirt gets in. You should bathe everyday and if she's unable to use the shower, a family member or nurse could at least wash her real good. Was just trying to help.

[DianeMorris in reply to Hidden]

Why is this? Guess I don't understand. You should be able to shower or bathe at will and have someone assist you with meals. Please explain to me why your basic needs are not being taken care of.

[Hidden in reply to DianeMorris]

I guess that there aren't any angels in my area but I haven't given up hope and am still looking. Luckily I have an amazingly kind son and a good nephew with me

Also 2 lovely dogs so it's not all bad. I just get a bit down sometimes. Thanks Don for your great rhymes they always make me smile xxx

[DianeMorris in reply to Hidden]

I have found Katherine you mu sd t think of these angels of the Lord as professionals. If someone makes you feel uneasy follow your gut...usually you are spot on, ask for a new aide or assistant. Follow your heart, you know deep down inside what is right and what is not. Yours in the light and love Diane (a fellow sufferer)...

[LORBIC]

I have had a visiting nurse aid come in when I broke my wrist on my left arm and mashed my right shoulder and elbow on the right side all in one fall. All she did was a sponge bath and then she put powder on. She was very gentle and caring and it was just another day at work for her. She understood where I was coming from. You do get used to having it done and you feel so much better when she is done. Sometime we just have to bit the bullet and do things we don't like doing. Good luck

[Florenc3]

Please don’t turn down this help due to embarrassment. I’m a carer and any decent carer will understand, they will help you keep your dignity and modesty. I don’t remember who on here it was that said ‘it’s just another day at work (or words to that effect), for the carer. It is, but they don’t see a body just a person in need. There are always a way around a problem, and carers will be respectful of your feelings, just explain how you feel, we are very understanding.

[Hidden in reply to Florenc3]

Thanks for the pep talk i know how good carers can be. When I was nursing my mum 20 years ago I had carer's come and help me with looking after her they were brilliant unfortunately now the only so called care agency in my area appears to be more like a cleaning company. I would rather go without than be treated like a dirty dish. I'm still looking for the right people so I haven't given up. Love to you all you all help me keep going. Wish I had found this place years ago. Patsy xxx

[Dubba61]

Hello Patsy, it must be difficult to admit to needing Care. However, i have at times worked in all types of Carework and your Carer will probably be a person who likes helping people, as i did. Washing a person will be something she has done countless times and she will be totally unfazed by it. One of the things i used to tell my Clients was that none of us know when we might need Care. So do accept the help offered. By all means have a chat n get to know your helper first. I'm sure that you'll soon be on friendly terms. My best wishes to you. Dee😊🌻✌️

[Hidden in reply to Dubba61]

Thanks Dee I'm still looking for someone like you in my area. They must be out there somewhere I just can't seem to find them at the moment. Love Patsy xxx

[Dubba61 in reply to Hidden]

Best of luck with it Patsy n do let me know how you get on. 😊🌻✌️