Had a phone conversation with Dad's consultant yesterday. I wanted to clarify in my mind where we actually are with his cll. Sadly, my fears have been confirmed...he is now end stage, now needing blood transfusions every 2/3 weeks, this is what's keeping him alive, but Dr expects he will be unable to cope with these constant visits to hospital, hooked up for 7 hours, plus a 4weekly visit for his immunoglobulin therapy. He's still so happy, and I realise he will lose this fight soon, but doesn't stop this feeling of dread. Dr has assured me this disease should not cause him pain, my main worry, I suppose I just want him not to suffer.