Pride and discrimination, but love wins

Hi all,

Cannot believe I'm saying this, when it is Pride Bristol this weekend.

Pride is not my thing, as Festival type events are too "peoply" for me. I'd rather have some quiet time. But Pride is important. It celebrates life and diversity. And yes, don't we need it?

We passed up on it. Not because we don't support it's aims, we do. Its just there are lot of people and if you are introverted, festival events really aren't you scene, especially if me.

So we went to the pub. Of course, British summer weather duly obliged and we had a downpour. In come all the Pride event visitors, ducking some inclement weather. All is good, everyone is having a good time, and all is well.

Until two boneheads walk in.

Firstly, my wife has a coded message for me for when people are staring, And it goes off. She clocks two idiots making jokes and clearly indicating (from head contact with hands) what the issue might be. There is disguised conversation going on, and it gets so bad that my wife confronted them outright, and told them to stop the stare.

She got told she was "a stupid cow". Nice. The icing on the cake, given it is Pride weekend, and lots of people are in the rainbow colours, is their use of the word "queers". I lost the plot at that point.

A warning then is issued to the pub to alert them that they have two misbehaving customers, and we leave. It is unusual for me to feel like I have to defend myself, but if that toerag comes with 5 feet of me in future, I cannot guarantee he won't leave without a broken bone or so. And if he threatens my wife again, then he really will be in plaster.

so we visit our other favourite pub, only to find the same to idiots follow us in, hopefully having been excluded from the previous one.

Another warning to the pub, and this time, the pub is right on it, and sets an exclusion zone around us. If they come near us, they get barred. Brilliant! Thankfully, they kept at distance.

I find it hard to say, that on a pride weekend, there is no end to discrimination and bad feeling towards others. Pride was based on the Stonewall riots I believe, but there are no end of reasons for why people behave so badly.

The colour of your skin? Expect discrimination? Wrong gender? maybe expect glass ceilings? disabled? Don't get me started.

It makes my skin crawl. Discrimination is discrimination. for all of the "taking the knee", and festivals, it still exists.

And it must stop.

Please help and call it out it you are able out safely.

So, while i wasn't planning to get involved with Pride, I now have a pride flag at home and it has some very pertinent words on it.

"Everyone is welcome here".

Amen.

Love to all.

CB

[Hidden]

Update on the above incident. I've calmed down now!

I posted the above because I know others encounter this kind of uncalled for incidents too.

If one happens to you, please remember some key things.

Firstly, you ARE NOT alone. Many us will get these on a regular basis

You ARE in the right. there is no excuse for stares, or abuse (Abuse may even be illegal, so....). Changing faces publish some excellent advice on handling this.

DO tell someone. If you feel able, tell this community. We are likely to have been there.... This is really important because you should not dwell on it. Other people's bad vibes cannot be allowed to affect your wellbeing.

I don't think I've ever been so close to an altercation ever. I would strongly recommend in doing everything you can to avoid confrontation, but if you do find your yourself having to confront someone, do so with dignity. Its very hard to reclaim that if you get it wrong.

In the end, we walked away yesterday, which i hated. I don't see why I should lose out because of someone being a jerk, but walking away is better than outright confrontation.

We still had a great afternoon. its just it was "jerk interrupted". oh well.

[irishdaisy]

Hey there,

Unfortunately you're not the first and certainly won't be the last to encounter idiots like these!

But the more people I encounter in life, I have come to accept there is so much variation, good and bad, in between. So many nice people, but unfortunately there are the types like those mentioned in your post that just can't help themselves and resort to such crass behaviour!

I find it helps to accept things and people exactly as they are, and just move on. Easier said than done sometimes, I know, but it can be very helpful.

I really like the good parts of your story, like your supportive wife, the fact you get to enjoy going out to a few pubs together. And your positive and helpful attitude, leading to posting on here, with obviously the intention of helping others!

Kindness wins...always! 😊

[Solocat Community Ambassador]

Yo, Circuitbreak, hi there!! Sorry for that bitter experience.

As I was reading you, I could not believe it. At this age, after the internet, worldwide communication, information, and openness we still have that, and it's not a small Southern US-like population just coming out of the 19th century, but it happens where almost everything else happens if I take it that you live in a big city. Well, it seems there will always be that in the world for it to be properly called "world".

As always, all my support to you, and I also like your post-data advocating for control of the impulses caused by the indignation suffered. As soon as we get in attack mode we de-facto lose the fight (...I know: easier said than done, but at least good to know).

Well, I'm glad you took the lead in the situation. You did the right thing every step of the way, I'm so happy to know that. As humans we have our impulses, we let them through and then take a second look at them like you did. Uffff, but not easy, I know!!!

Cheers Brother!

[Hidden in reply to Solocat]

Hi fella! Great to hear from you!

Yes, big city ville here. Means you do find more good people, but on the downside, the increased numbers mean "more eejits".

Ah well.

I'm more annoyed with with myself for, on reflection, missing the opportunity to name this thread "Pride .... and prejudice". Gosh darnit! missed an opportunity there!

🤣🤣🤣

[Solocat Community Ambassador]

Nothing missed, my man! Calling it that way hinted at least in me that book/movie and added your personal touch in the mingle, you were spot-on. 😄😄