Relationships and finding love

[younique]

I see so many people with differences, disabilities and unique challenges express that they think they'll never find love. This is simply not true. We don't ever find love, we experience love. Love is all around us. We are love.

There are billions of people in the world who are also longing to experience love on a deeper level. None of us are alone, even though we may feel that we are. It's important to be open to experience love, no matter how scary or intimidating that may seem.

It's from a place of love that we attract people who feel emotionally safe with us and strive to develop a strong relationship.

Not everyone will like you, accept you, or want to experience love with you.. that's a fact that every human faces. Just because we may have greater challenges in life doesn't mean we necessarily like, accept or want to be close to people either.

So it's our choice. We can be open to love knowing that it may not always work out how we want or expect it to. Or we can be closed off and shut people out. But if we go that route, we most certainly will have a much harder time experiencing love.

We don't need billions of people to love us, we just need one special person. 💝

[AlwaysSmiling Community Ambassador]

I LOVE this post - thank you younique! That is such a good way to look at it "We don't ever find love, we experience love." And you're right, there are billions of people out there so it's unlikely that there isn't anyone out there waiting to experience love with us.

It is definitely a sensitive subject with me. I'm usually very optimistic about my life with a visible difference but when it comes to love I am less so. This could be because I've been told before that I'll never get a boyfriend looking the way I do.

My Grandma actually told me once that even when I was really young I didn't see myself ever having a relationship. Apparently I used to tell her that I'll never find love because no-one will ever love me. But as the years have gone on I've slowly started to realise that it's not impossible for me to find that special someone. This post has helped to put things into perspective even more. Thanks again🙂

[younique in reply to AlwaysSmiling]

This actually breaks my heart a little. It's not fair that even as kids we pick up on messages that make us feel not good enough. The great news (and bad news in some cases) is that what we learn or believe as children when it comes to real life, is not always right. We simply don't have all the information we need to form ideas that pertain to our lives as fully actualized humans. Often we listen to what grown-ups or even other children say, not seeing that they may be wrong, misinformed, short-sighted, etc. We look to the people around us to help us make sense of the world. This is essential to help us learn and grow, but it isn't always the best approach to take in every situation. Of course we need to listen to them when it comes to our safety and well-being, but when it comes to our unique experiences in life, they have no way of knowing. No one can predict the future and no one can tell us who we will meet or what we will learn or even the potential our lives hold. That's on us to determine and that's what makes each of us so special. You're a very special person AlwaysSmiling and who you choose to share your life with will be a very lucky individual. Always remember that. 🤗

[AlwaysSmiling Community Ambassador in reply to younique]

Thank you very much younique!

I think one of the reasons I used to mention never finding love when I was younger is because I used to watch a lot of Disney princesses on TV. They stereotypically have no imperfections and they always find their 'Prince Charming'. Seeing this must have had a bigger impact on me than I thought. I must have thought to myself "I don't look like those princesses on TV so how can I ever find love like they do?" Obviously now I look back and realise that most people's lives aren't as perfect as that of a Disney princess but at the time those princesses were my role models and I used to dream of one day finding my 'Prince Charming' but I just wasn't sure I ever would looking the way I do.

As I said, as I've got older I've realised that it is not impossible for someone like me with visible differences to be in a romantic relationship, it's just about waiting to find the right person or as you said, to experience love with someone.

[PB58]

A fantastic, insightful post. All I would add, is that actually love is to be found freely all around you if you just care to look a little more closely; in the sun that rises every day, the eyes of a child, the smile from a stranger & a loyal pet manifests its love freely too. Look for love & you’ll be sure to find it❤️

[younique in reply to PB58]

Beautifully put! You're right PB58 the key is recognizing love in its various forms. There are many cultures that use more than one word in their language for love. With a quick search: which language has the most words for love, I found this article huffpost.com/entry/96-words.... I love it.

I think we are taught from a young age that "love" is something we have to strive for. That being loved gives meaning to our lives, validates us -- it then becomes this far off thing, an ideal, a vague concept. We completely miss all the other ways to experience love because we are so focused on that idea.

Thank you so much for pointing out that distinction. 🙏

[Hidden]

What a beautiful post younique! I agree there is that special person for everyone and you will find each other. I think there's also something about learning to love yourself to strengthen your experience of love in general and maybe even attracting the type of love you desire. Thank you for starting off such a thoughtful conversation 😊

[younique in reply to Hidden]

Yes! Good points Hidden ! Self love is essential. I figured it was a good time to bring it up with the holiday around the corner. I'm sure not everyone gives much thought to it, but it's hard to completely ignore how much emphasis society places on romantic relationships during this time.