uncaring opthalmologist

[Roxybon]

I had surgery to my face about a year ago. It was to remove a BCC which was no bigger than 5 x 5 mm when I showed the GP 3 years ago. It did spread, but not as far as the operation demonstrates. A forehead flap now covers part of my eye and is bulbous over my nose. My eyebrows are in different places. He replaced an area of skin that didn't need replacing. He didn't tell me what he was going to do. I was expecting a graft and came out with total mutilation.

I felt suicidal to start with followed by helplessness, anger and deep grief. The consultant is in denial.

I'm still shocked and trying not to be in despair. I met many people with differences in my work as a social worker, and accepted their grief. Now that it's my own grief it's not so easy.

I so want to mutilate that consult for what he did to me. He told me I'd "have to come to terms with it". He's arrogant, privileged and protected.

[EvaChangingFaces Partner]

Hi Roxybon , It sounds like you've been through a lot and so thank you for being brave and sharing your situation with everyone here. From what you’re describing you have experienced difficult feelings like helplessness, anger and deep grief and still being in shock and coming to terms with living with a visible difference. That must have been very difficult and a painful journey that you have been navigating through and I do hope that you have people close that you can talk to and get some support from if you wanted to. I'm sorry to hear that your experience of medical professionals has been disappointing and uncaring to say the least and I'm sure people here in this community will recognise some of what you're saying as well.

You also mentioned that you experienced suicidal thoughts at the start; hopefully those feelings have shifted but if you are still feeling this way it is really important that you get the right kind of help and support. We’d strongly recommend you talk to your GP or local mental health service about this. If you feel that you’re in immediate danger of hurting yourself, we’d urge you to contact the emergency services number or going to your local A&E.

Changing Faces cannot endorse any external organisations, but you might want to consider looking at this if you wanted a starting point:

findahelpline.com/tw?topics...

We have lots of free self-help resources on our website which you may find helpful. You can access them here: changingfaces.org.uk/advice...

Hope that helps a little and please take care of yourself,

Eva – Changing Faces