Advice on physio

[mofcs]

Hello All! My first post

I had Facial cancer ( Carcinoma Squamous) around 2 years ago and lost part of my cheek, bit of nose and most of top lip. Had various surgeries, 9 so far and more are to come

My mouth is quite deformed now, top and low lip are wonky and I’m still getting used to my new look.

I’m looking for advice on: physiotherapists specialised on facial scarring, psychological help and any other practical advice.

Also to offer and tap-in into peer support

[CarolinChangingFaces Partner]

Hi mofcs welcome to the Changing Faces community. Thank you for your post. I understand you was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago and have undergone 9 surgeries to date. It sounds like you have been through a lot.

I also hear that you have experienced changes to your appearance as a result of these surgeries and that you are still getting to used to how you look. Lots of our community members will be able to relate to this and hopefully you are able to connect with them and receive support on here.

Whilst Changing Faces cannot recommend any health care professionals or provide any medical information (we would suggest speaking to your GP) we can offer Wellbeing support which you can self-refer to by completing a webform on the following page on our website. changingfaces.org.uk/servic...

Changing Faces has a counselling service for people with appearance related concerns. They can offer support around the social and emotional impact of having a visible difference. You can read more about this service on the following webpage. changingfaces.org.uk/servic...

Changing Faces also has a peer group chat service which offers individuals the opportunity to connect online, and share experiences and support with others who have a visible difference. The group is run by either zoom or webchat and it is facilitated by Changing Faces practitioners. You can read more about this service on the following page. changingfaces.org.uk/servic...

I hope this is helpful.

Kind Regards

Caroline – Changing Faces.

[mofcs]

A year later and still struggling big time. Had another op few months ago and another one to come soon.

Should be planning to return to work but suffering from anxiety so badly that is consuming me and super scared of going back to work

PTSD is now happening, feeling the last 3 years crushing down on me.

Feeling confused, part of me feels I have no more energy to carry on with this and part of me feels I have to carry on for my family and loved ones and because I’m strong and worth it!

I’m proud of what I have achieved and gone through. Right now I should be feeling better, still look wonky but better than before, and I feel the lowest ever since this nightmare started.

I keep thinking that we don’t choose friends for their looks, is their personality what is attractive! So, let’s remember that!!

Anxiety is so debilitating, it’s escalating quite quickly and not sure how to control it. Don’t want to take medication as I feel that I need to deal with these issues now, rather than masking them and then having to deal in the future…

Don’t know what the right thing to do is… any advice?

[Hidden in reply to mofcs]

Hi Mofcs,

Thank you for the update.

This sounds like quite a journey you've been on. I suspect that the truth is, the journey isn't complete yet either.

You are right to be proud of what you've achieved so far. And you've also identified loved ones as your reason for looking at difficulty head on. That makes you inspirational. You may not feel it, but yes, you are.

You're right, we don't pick friends for their looks. We choose our friends for a whole variety of reasons. There are probably many reasons why people look up to you. But we never think about those. People are often very self depreciating in that way. Get some friends time in.

Do be little easier on yourself. You may have been through disappointments and stress, and worry, and then more stress over the last few years, worse probably due to the pandemic. I guess that is what is showing now as PTSD. Yet here you are, still trucking and back with updates. There are many who fared worse than you did, having had no surgery [EDIT. By this I mean, so many developed health issues during the pandemic, while you were sorting them out!], yet you went through all of that. There are ways of dealing with PTSD, and talking I guess is the start, and firstly with your healthcare provider so that they are aware if they aren't already.

I wouldn't want to tell what you should do. Your judgement is obviously good. You've got this far, and you've faced everything in your path so far.

So I'd say, whatever you're doing, do that again. In fact, as I have surgery in prospect, then with respect, I may follow your lead.

But in doing all that, then I'd say "pick something for yourself.", something YOU want for NO REASON other than "because you want to!" A hobby to yourself, something you want to do, and say "this is just for me!", and then nail it. You deserve it.

Good one.

CB

[EvaChangingFaces Partner in reply to mofcs]

Hi mofcs it's so nice to hear your update a year down the line since your last post so thank you for taking the time to reach out and share how things have been for you. Evidently it's been a tough year and it sounds like you still have a lot on your plate.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with anxiety and feeling low, that's understandable and finding ways to manage it can be hard and tricky but taking each day as it comes and focusing on one thing at a time can help sometimes. It's great to hear that you are able to recognise how much you have achieved already and rightfully feel proud of yourself! Also, reaching out to people that are close to you and love you and ask for their support is always helpful and a way of recharging your strength resources.

It's important to remember that there is support available for you and as I'm sure you already know talking with a health professional can be a first step in getting access to the help that you need. I would like to remind you that should you want to Changing Faces can also offer wellbeing support which you can self-refer to by completing a webform on the following page on our website. changingfaces.org.uk/servic...

All the best for the upcoming operation and please feel free to reach out again if you feel able and connect with the community here as your experience and thoughts can inspire and support others too.

Take care,

Eva-ChangingFaces