Advice on recent changes

[Found23]

Hi - can anyone give advice on how I support a loved one who has just lost his nose as part of an operation to remove cancer. Thank you in advance

[RunningJ123]

Aww... That's so nice of you... And just caring will mean a lot! I don't know what to say really other than treat the person as normal as much as possible... It's hard when it's so obvious on the face, but it's still the same person and same personality etc behind it all

[Found23 in reply to RunningJ123]

thank you for the kindness and advise

[EvaChangingFaces Partner]

Hi Found23 and welcome to the Changing Faces community! Thank you for your post and your offer of support for people who are living life with a visible difference. It sounds like your loved one is lucky to have you in their life willing to support them through this difficult time. You may be interested in having a look in our self-help resources on our website changingfaces.org.uk/advice... as it's hard to know what works best for each individual. Perhaps the most helpful thing is to communicate as openly as possible with your loved one and let them know that you are there for them and remind them that you care for them as they are getting through this.

Hopefully you'll find people in this community that either have had similar experiences supporting their loved ones or that have been through the journey themselves and can offer their insight on what they found helpful.

Take care,

Eva - ChangingFaces

[Solocat Community Ambassador]

Hi Found23!

Welcome to our community, I hope you feel here like home!

I know you have already received a very warm welcome from us and that you have a great recommendation to follow in order to help your friend.

No doubt you can do wonders for your friend by reaching out and providing help so you together can navigate through this challenging situation. I'm pretty sure you mean a lot to your friend and that you will both grow in friendship as a result: In good times and bad times...that's what friends are for.

I hope you let us know how everything went after contacting our friends at changingfaces.org.uk/advice. Nothing but positive life experiences in love and friendship will come out as your friend and you move through this new challenge.

Hang in there, guys!!

[Happyhare2020]

Hi there.

Firstly I’m so sorry about your horrible situation. I 100% can understand your situation as I also lost my nose in November, along with my top jaw and the roof of my mouth. Like you we had so little time to prepare. Given the news and boom.. surgery.

All I can say is EVERYONE treated me exactly the same as before. No feeling sorry for me, no letting me dwell and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS focus on the positive. Yes it’s been crap. No one will ever understand what I see when I look in the mirror unless they’ve been through what I have, the fear, the embarrassment, the situation as a whole. The treatment and the radiotherapy has changed my whole outlook on life but the one thing I will remain forever grateful for is the love I’ve received. My husband and my children have shown me nothing but love and we have plans for our future. Make plans and dreams together. Give your husband a positive to aim for.

Happy to chat to you if you ever need it. Much love being sent. X

[Found23]

thank you so much. You are very kind and I hope your recovery is going well. He is being strong but i sometimes worry he is being overly positive

[Happyhare2020 in reply to Found23]

I honestly believe that positive thinking has kept me going. I can’t and won’t look at the negative as it will drag me down. Yes, it’s terrible having no nose and having to navigate myself around the implications of this. I’m learning something new each day with my self care and mental health. I’m actually certain I'm driving my family insane right now with my obsession with cleaning and healthy eating etc but they’re just coming along on this journey with me until we all find our new norm. Until now I’ve felt I was the only one living with no nose and I’m learning I’m not and being able to ask questions and also be asked questions is such a help. If you’re as compassionate, caring and lovely as my husband is I’m sure you’re husband will get thru this, I hope my husband will eventually get some help for his trauma as he’s endured it just like you bless you. I think by seeing you in this group asking this question proves what kind love you have to get him thru this 💗 remarkable xx

[Hidden in reply to Happyhare2020]

liking this a lot !!

[Hidden in reply to Happyhare2020]

… and if you truly find yourself obsessed with cleaning, i need some help in that area!!!! I have a whole house that needs an obsessive cleaner!!🤣

[Happyhare2020 in reply to Hidden]

Oh that’s my idea of absolute heaven!! And probably my families too as they’d get a mini break from me 🤣🤣🌸