I found out i have plagiocephaly when i was 19. I feel so suicidal ever since

[Kennedyub]

Hello everyone. Im from Africa and to my knowledge i feel like I'm the only one here with plagio. When i was little i always knew that something is off about me. They way people receive my siblings is different from how they interact with me both adults and my peers. Funny enough people say im a handsome boy and i grew up thinking that. So each time a girl stare at me i think she to thinks im handsome only i found out about plagio now i feel really ashamed and what if that girl was just wondering how in the hell will someone face be this f**ked up. Things are really bad ever since. Im so mad at my parents

[Hidden]

Hi Kennedyub, it sounds like things are tough for you, so it's great you're reaching out to connect with people who might understand what you're going through. I've also sent you a private message. We have a number of people with plagiocephaly on the forum, so you're not alone, and I hope you find this a supportive place to share your feelings.

This forum isn't able to provide crisis support, and if you're suicidal it's really important you get the right kind of help. We'd strongly encourage you to confide in a healthcare professional or local mental health service, and explain how you're feeling so you can get the support you deserve. If you ever feel like you're in danger of causing harm to yourself, we'd urge you to contact the emergency services in your area.

Take care.

[Vinnieplagio]

Your defnitly not alone. There are a lot of plagios in here including me. Im a type 3 to with facial deviation. I know how you feel my family also ignored me throughout my life

[AlwaysSmiling Community Ambassador]

Hello Kennedyub,

Your feelings are very understandable considering what you have been through. Just know that you are not alone here and everyone here can support you whether they too have the condition or not.

As for girls, you do not need to worry about that. There will be plenty of girls out there who like you for who you are. The girls who stare for the wrong reasons are not worth your time!

I really hope you start to feel an improvement soon. Stay strong!💪😊

[younique]

Hi Kennedy! Welcome. I'm a plagio girl (well, woman lol) 🙋and I understand what you are going through. I had a lot of anger because my condition wasn't addressed. I was resentful over that for a long time. Later I found out they didn't want me to feel different, or to turn it into an issue. So that's been hard, because, I am different and it has been an issue. Denying that doesn't help. Even now after all these years I still keep to myself for the most part since few people understand how I feel. It's discouraging when people react in some of the ways they do. Or if they claim they know what it's like when they could not possibly know what it's like. So instead I come here and talk about this stuff and that's been very helpful.

Also it's important to keep in mind that being good looking and having a visible difference are not mutually exclusive. You can be both. I'm sure many of those women looked at you because they thought you were handsome. Not everyone cares if we look different. Even if they had noticed, that doesn't mean they were turned off or changed how they saw you. We can't really say for sure, but maybe other people aren't thinking anything bad about us at all when they see we look different. That is, IF they even notice.

Glad you've joined the forum, hopefully you find some comfort here.

[Chizaram]

I'm late but I have plagiocephaly and I'm African too, and a guy, if that helps make you feel less lonely.

Everything you wrote was exactly what I experienced except the "receive my siblings different" part. And yes, I too was mad at my parents and went through an aweful phase because this fueled my already existing depression, after becoming acutely aware of this condition - if you can call it that - as a young adult. I used to brush off the teasing or disrespectful comments by my peers and whoever, up until my mid-teens.

While I try not to let it bother me as much now as a 27 yr old (It still does, but I push it as far back in my mind as possible), I am trying to save up to have a bone cement procedure.

Please seek professional help if you need to work through how you feel about this, even if you want to have a procedure to correct it. Hang in there!

[EvaChangingFaces Partner in reply to Chizaram]

Hello Chizaram and welcome to the Changing Faces community. Thank you for your post and for sharing about your experiences here. It sounds like you've had a really challenging time with your condition over the years and suffered with coming in terms with it and dealing with other people's reactions. However, it's also clear that you have developed a lot of resilience and skills through this journey and hopefully you have met people who have been able to be there for you as well. I wonder if you have any strategies that you use to cope with these feelings and if you feel able to share them here as I think people could benefit from your experience. Hopefully, you'll find this community a place to connect with people and you will continue to share your thoughts.

Take care,

Eva - ChangingFaces

[Chizaram in reply to EvaChangingFaces]

I don't have any strategy, but here's what I'll say; Don't allow what people say get into your head. Appreciate your body and do what you can to improve it as much as possible as long as it is not harming you. Eat well, sleep well, exercise often, wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident, wear deodorant or perfume/cologne that makes you smell nice and confident. Volunteer in your community or another in need (I need to do this more often). Go out and experience the world (I also need to do this). Make friends with other genuine people. If you can afford a procedure/surgery to improve a part of your body and feel that you need to have it to feel more confident, I'd say go for it, but try the other things mentioned first. Even if there is nothing you can do in this regard, appreciate your body and enjoy the experiences because that is all we will have left that we treasure the most, before we die. Don't let body standards weigh you down. Your happiness is key. Cheers to a new, vibrant, healthy and confident You!🥂

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador in reply to Chizaram]

100%absolute complete and utter, .... Like.

well said. There is no a part of this I wouldn't say, or utterly agree with. Nice one!

And I particularly like the first bit. DO NOT let what anyone says get into your head. ....

Your head is your space. You own it, and your word is law there. ANd it that realm, you do what you do to keep on an even keel.