Hate my appearance

[SadPotato]

I have a scar on my forehead from 14 stitches. I fell by the pool several summers ago. I even had a scar revision, but it still looks like a visible indent on my forehead. A teenage boy asked me why I have a "line" on my forehead, and I cried so much afterwards I cover it with clear medical tape or sillicone makeup to fill-in the indent. I hate looking people in the eye.

On top of this, I had a bad rhinoplasty and wish I could reverse it. My nose looks so much wider than before, and all I wanted to change was the side profile. It's like I took away one problem and replaced it with 5 more. I have mental breakdowns when I look at old photos. I was so much prettier before. I ruined my appearance, and I paid someone to do it. On top of the scar, this is too much for me to cope with.

Also, I stopped wearing my retainer years ago, so my teeth have all shifted and my smile is ruined too. I am now 24 years old, have zero friends, never go outside, and just cry all the time and wish I could go back in time. I just want my old face back. I ended up deleting tons of old photos because it hurt me to much to look at them. I had to take a passport photo recently and cried for DAYS when I saw it, cause I looked so ugly, my nose looked so much wider & deformed, and my smile looked crooked. I wish I could just die. I just want to wake up from this bad dream. My life feels like a nightmare now. I want to just go back to being 14 again, as sad as that sounds. Since things have only gotten worse and worse every year since then.

[MTTA]

You’re suffering too much. I wish I could help. I too have scars on my smile zone and a damaged nose from a dog bite. There are good days and less good days. Facing the mirror sometimes is hard but with time there’s acceptance. We have to remember that none of bad that had happened to us was deserved. It just happened. We can’t take nothing for granted in life and since the accident I feel like life is really an ephemeral state and though the adversities we have to live why we are still here and always seek the best for us, and that includes being kind to ourselves. I know it’s very hard but you have to remember that. You don’t deserved it, you don’t deserve the sadness you’re bearing. I wish you the best

[younique]

Hi SadPotato. Welcome to the forum; I'm sorry to hear that the changes to your appearance have you feeling so low. Although you may not be happy with how you look now, it might be reassuring to remember that you are still YOU. You're still that beautiful happy person in the photos. Beauty isn't only in how we look. A large part of what makes people beautiful is their personality. When I'm feeling insecure, I look at other people to reassure me that I'm not the only one. No one is perfect even celebrities have flaws and unique physical characteristics. It's part of what makes them so interesting. How often do you see perfect actors? None come to mind for me. Often it's their uniqueness that gives them character and makes them attractive. But even celebrities feel pressure to be perfect, that's why so many of them have surgery too. We are all trying to look and feel our best.

I also had surgery to fix my appearance. I feel that it created other concerns for me too. Nearly all of my life I have had a hard time looking people in the eyes. So I understand how you feel. But you are still the same person inside. The truth is that changes in our appearance happen naturally over time. We never stay looking the same as we did. I know it's different for you because your changes were drastic and traumatic. I think the biggest thing you need right now is emotional healing. We will always be here for you, but do you have someone you can talk to outside of the forum? I went to therapy for a couple years and it really changed my life. Is that something you'd be interested in? If so let me know I'll be happy to send you some more information. ♥️

[Sheerizac]

Hi there, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I too have ended up, I feel, looking worse than before. Rhinoplasty is the biggest con going. My nose is wider as I had to have reconstructive surgery. I have a son who shares my birth nose but because of the changes I made, we bear no resemblance. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

[Tortoise96]

Hi there,

I’m 24 years old too and I also have a scar right across my cheek. I’ve had this since I was 4 years old. I really really do know and understand how it feels and what it’s like, I know how alone you can feel at times due to this and it’s really hard I know. But there are people out there who are dealing with the same, there’s not many of us but we are here and we can help each other with these feelings of distress in our physical image. It’s so hard to live in a world so obsessed by beauty and perfect faces and bodies, I get that, honestly I do. But we have a choice, we can live our lives forever hating ourselves about something that we cannot change or control, or we can jump into life and think fuck it... fuck all of you humans who judge me and look at me and think anything at all! No one else in this world can ever understand what you’re feeling or what you’re going through right now, but just know that I will try my best.

I’m just a message away if you would like to talk to someone going through a similar experience.

Sending all my love and hope you are feeling better soon x