Feeling Abandoned and pointless

Today I feel like ending my life. The trauma the pain I have endured is bad enough without being made to feel unimportant or that what happened to me is insignificant.

I was told that I was to have reconstructive surgery in six months, this has been the only thing getting me through this nightmare. A light at the end of the tunnel.

I had an appointment with my surgeon on the 9th of April to check my progress and discuss different ways to fix my head. I was called today and told that my appointment is cancelled and I'm being discharged back to my GP because "I'm fine" is what she said to me!!.

No regard to my mental health or well being and no discussion or consultation.

I fully expected to have a delay with everything going on at the moment but not to be told that I am fine after the promise of surgery to correct my head.

On a call back the secretary rescinded my discharge but I cannot believe how they can treat me like that, like I'm not important and my trauma means nothing. I fully understand that this is a horrible time for everyone and there a huge pressure on our NHS and I know they are doing an amazing job. This has completely knocked me off my feet and I am so distraught with how I've been dealt with.

[SamChangingFaces Partner]

Dear Di197,

I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling today and you've taken a positive step in sharing your feelings about the situation here on the Changing Faces Community. I have sent you a private message too.

You sound like you are feeling very low - and it is understandably frustrating and upsetting not to get the help you need. Sadly, it is not uncommon in our community for health professionals not to understand the emotional and psychological impact of having a visible difference and how this can affect people's quality of life. Please continue to connect with people here as it is a supportive place. Our service may also be able to help and support you with your visible difference further and in talking with health professionals - I have sent you the details in the PM or you can contact us at changingfaces.org.uk/advice...

Take care of yourself.

All the best,

Sam

[AlwaysSmiling Community Ambassador]

Hello Di197,

I'm so sorry to hear about how you're feeling at the moment.

I have had these frustrations many times before and I know how negatively it can all make you feel. Just when you think things are finally going to get better, something happens that causes everything to go back to where you started. It is definitely understandable that you're feeling this way.

My last surgery got cancelled multiple times before it eventually happened and I remember being distraught every time it happened. I can only imagine how you must be feeling now given your situation and the current times.

Unfortunately the situation is out of your control. I know it must be incredibly difficult to accept that.

I'm happy you came here for support though and I urge you to continue to do so.

I really do hope things start improving for you soon. Remember, a little progress is still better than no progress.

We are all here supporting you!

Take care Di197😊

[Vinnieplagio]

I had the exact same experience. And everywhere i go with my skull problem they say its fine. I have a feeling a lot of those surgeons dont really know what its like to live with something like that. Keep strong

[Tamousha84]

I recently saw my surgeon for The last time for his opinion regarding The scars on my nose. He said its too risky. Now I realize I have to accept it somehow.. But this was after pushing every possibility to the max! I recommend you strongly to keep pushing for an other consultation. If not with The NHS then elsewhere. Do not give up! And saying health professionals do not understand is not quite fair. I am one too and if its life or death you are dealing with a deformity is secondary. But there are understanding surgeons and nurses too! Keep looking and do not worry about what they think on the way. Its your life and looks and you deserve to explore every lane to possible improvement completely. And its True we are living in extreme Times right now and I understand The feeling of wanting it fixed NOW. I had that too. But you need to be patient, try to disconnect this and focus on other things at The moment. But do not give up. There is a time and a place to deal with this issue ahead in time if you keep at it! I wish you all The best of luck. You deserve to feel better and have a good life. Do not forget that.

[Hidden in reply to Tamousha84]

Hi

Thank you for comments, I would just like to say that I have said that I understand the situation and the pressure they are under. I have no issues with the delay. My issue was the way I was treated which went against Thier core values and mission statement. The direction they were given was to postpone all planned surgery and discharge inpatients that are medically fit.

I believe that trying to discharge me was wrong, and that is why they have now recinded my discharge and postponed my appointment and I am happy with that.

I'm not being a diva and I support the medical profession in this time of crisis.

I'm a person with feelings and still expect to be treated as a human being.

I will be seen again after this nightmare and I am very thankful for that.

[Tamousha84 in reply to Hidden]

Im am so pleased to find out that you will be seen to in due time. I do not believe you are a diva. I have been in a similar situation. I mainly replied to urge you to remain hopeful. I am sorry you felt misstreated and if it does not work out with this caregiver do not hesitate to seek other options. I wish you all The best and keep us posted if you like to.

[user533]

Hello,

i had a visible difference next to my scar on my cheek; its called a 'dog-ear'; its ugly and it doesnt go away on its own. Well i went to see my surgeon who fixed one of them years ago, and he didnt even wanted to fix the other dog ear i had ....

But then i went to see another surgeon, a well reputated one, and he offered a really low price and did fixed it !

Althought there's no dog ear anymore on my scar, i still cope with loneliness and the questionment concerning my face. I think it look a bit weird; It wasnt the result i wanted to have because the surgeon didnt used the method i wanted to fix my fproblem; instead he used another method...

but me too i feel abandoned, and pointless. I dont know yet how do i look , if its good looking or weird looking; and when i see a girl that attracts me , i feel like i'm bad looking and that she wont be interested; and anyways its often that way. I feel like women wont find me pretty , and that i cant date because of my face, i cant live romance because of that, etc etc