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Free For All on Friday

Callendersgal profile image

Hi everyone and welcome to the first Friday Free for All in September. Please post away on any topic of your choosing, so long as it falls within community guidelines. And of course especially pleased to read anything that happens to include our primary topic of Caring.

If you have newly landed here, a very warm welcome to you. Please do feel welcome to join in with your posts too. We’d love to hear from you.

Is anyone else feeling autumnal since the start of the new month? I’ve noticed the nights drawing in and there’s been a little chill in the air too for a day or two, far too early for my liking, but a reminder that summer’s waning and we have to get ready with determination to get through another winter. Let’s hope it’s less bleak than last year with all that covid19 brought us!

Today I'm posting about a care topic as I’ve had a sharp reminder of how becoming a carer can be suddenly thrust on us, unexpectedly. It’s just happened to someone I know really well.

Some of you may know (because I’ve been fond of boring you all with it), is that I was an enthusiastic Scottish country dancer but that sadly our group is no more, having foundered over difficulties caused by the pandemic. The other sort of dance I did is called Contra and might not be so well known to you.

It’s got a funny old history having been exported to the US from Europe several centuries ago, and is a mix of English, Scottish and French country dancing. It thrives in the US with a large following, and is very sociable. We reimported it to UK eventually, and groups meet to do it in many a village hall. It’s danced at a fast walk but is really fun and energetic. Our group was held once a month until the pandemic and I’d consoled myself that at least there would be some kind of dancing to return to which I could eventually enjoy again.

This week though, I was shocked to receive an email saying that, during the pandemic, its leader has been struck down with severe, sudden onset, hip and spine osteoarthritis and can scarcely walk. Holding the dance group will be quite impossible. Of course I rang to find out how things are.

Their lives have been turned upside down by this. From a couple who were able to be sociable, enjoy clubs and activities of all sorts, dancing and long walks, he is reduced to walking short distances with a walking frame and his wife has had to become his carer! That’s how quickly it happens for many people.

His wife said that the worst thing is that others just can’t understand the magnitude of the sudden change it has made to their lives. I think I was lucky in having time to get used to my situation with all three of the people I’ve previously supported.

I guess we should really all be prepared to find ourselves in this sort of situation. Any of us can become the carer or even the one being cared for, even at short notice, as we can’t avoid age or misfortune. So, as you can see, I’m in reflective mood again this week.

And how about all of you? How was your week? I hope that no matter what your situation you found some time for yourself, to be at peace and to do something you were able to enjoy. And wishing you a very good weekend.

Picture: Elena Mozhvil : Unsplash

13 Replies
sassy59 profile image

Hi Callendersgal, thank you for another great post. So sorry to hear about your friend who, until recently, had been very active and sociable. Also of course his wife who has had becoming a carer thrust upon her. It must have all been such a shock. I have a friend and her husband who are in a live-in caring role because my friends mother at 95 had several falls and can’t be left on her own. I’ve no idea what the future holds for them or when we’ll meet up again, I do agree that often people don’t understand. We’re fortunate to have family close by and friends who do understand but it’s not easy for many. I’m keeping an eye on Pete and making sure he stays as well as possible. I dread winter with all the bugs that go around, even without covid. We have our flu jabs booked for the 17th of this month thank goodness.

A quiet week but saw our son and family on Bank Holiday Monday which was nice. Daughter and family have been away and due back home later today. Our granddaughter starts in year two today and is super excited.

Have a wonderful weekend all and stay safe and well. Xxxx👍❤️😍

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to sassy59

That's a sad situation for you and your friend sassy59. It's horrible how quickly isolation can start to set in when you aren't in a position to go out as freely as you once did. My sister's feeling the same frustration, but thankfully, like you and Pete, she has good family and friends.I fear winter's going to be even more challenging again this year. After so much locking down over the past 18 months and the uncertainty that we'll be able to enjoy our winter festivals like bonfire night, halloween and even Christmas again is a sobering thought and that's without all of those winter bugs we have to dodge along with covid. Great that your flu jabs are already in the pipeline though. Hope we can get ours soon too! Thanks for the great update and wishing your granddaughter a great start to year two in school! 🔆🔆💖😍 xxx

sassy59 profile image
sassy59Ambassador in reply to Callendersgal

Thank you Callendersgal. Good wishes to your devoted sister and you too of course. Xxx👍😍☀️☀️

The lesson of the situations both with covid and your dance teacher is that life can change at the drop of a hat for any of us at any time and it's a lesson in how tomorrow isn't promised to anyone and about making the most of each day given as today is all any of us has got.

This week has been good and yesterday in particular was challenging as I went into town for an interview for 3.15pm and there was no interview so I got my things and walked out and went to a place where they do unlimited cups of tea called Ed's diner which I hadn't visited for ages and the last time I was there was just before everything shut down back in March 2020 and had their refillable tea as I used to have cups of tea at debenhams and the house of Fraser in the cafes there but sadly those places are no more!

At eds I managed to resist the temptation of ordering fries or a dessert and just stuck with my tea instead and had a look for other opportunities that are waiting for me and I applied to some that I was interested in rather than letting that non interview ruin my afternoon but I was angry though when there was no interview after I had made the effort to have gone there but I went and had a wander round the shops anyway and got something out of it!

We were on about what did we want to do for things like Halloween and we decided to keep things light and do a celebration at home say make a roast pumpkin stew or similar for Sunday dinner that week as Halloween this year falls on a Sunday.

Back in March 2020 when we last went to that diner never in a million years would we have thought that such a situation would have happened in this country when everything got cancelled and shut down without any kind of warning as although I had heard of the virus and the stories on the news and wasn't entirely ignorant it was still shocking when what happened did and one Sunday back then my sister in law and I had gone to the Marriott for Sunday lunch and had decided jointly to have made it our last one for a while with everything getting cancelled hand over fist as we had felt it was better to save ourselves the upset and not bother and that was the right decision as well!

For now in regard to Christmas what we have decided is that it's best to save ourselves the upset and not bother booking anything as we feel at this point in time it's not worth it same as with holidays and I feel happy it's the right thing for us!

Hi Sue I'm.sorry about your friend my mam wanted to dance when step dad was alive but he had bad arthritis in his knees, he was in his 6os and died age 67 just retired, I've just heard about more bad news for arthritis sufferers a friend from.our market was packing up early to see his wife her medication has effected her liver and kidney, he's a lovely chap sells home grown plants at the car boot market, yes we need to apprieciate our healths and try not to over do it I used to jog and do DIY the kneeling caused my cartillafe damage as mentioned before and I don't walk as much but I've actually been ok I think what set my knee off was 🙀head bashing my knee the bursia sacks I think burst same as my left knee which was from.kneeling doing DIY as was swollern I limit the stairs, I don't like winter but enjoyed a walk from my sister's park was empty and very green so still in atmosphere I can't believe it's a year since I posted my autumn colours photos, I used to dance exercise to music it cheered me up but I'm limiting that now incase, I had to put some Germaline on when got home as puss puss didn't like his belly rubbing lol say no more 🙀🙄🌄💐

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to

Oh dear what are we to do? Some puss cats get annoyed when you tickle their tums and others get annoyed when you don’t! 😾😺

in reply to Callendersgal

Wear thick gloves just incase 🙀😁😺

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to


Im hoping mid september depending on a lot of things to resume my riding ,.

Ive got myself on an MS powerpoint course starting on 13 sept. but now restrictions are over -when i went to enrol i asked about what covid restrictions were in place or would be put in place & the college didnt know

so Im going to try the first day & if theres no safety I m going to have to drop out

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Sara_2611

Hope it works out for you Sara_2611 as that sounds so useful, but also important for you to stay safe.

Yes me too - I always take my spray with me & spray 2 ventolin sprays down my throat before getting out of the car & ALWAYS wear my mask when riding (as well as the obligatory hat etc)

I post this in connection to Callendergal’s post about “Conta Dancing” can’t say I’ve heard of it before, but looks interesting, sadly I’m past the ability to dance again!😄

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Veteran250

That's the one Don and that group look as if they are having great fun. with it! 👍😊

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