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Free for All on Friday

Callendersgal profile image

Good morning and welcome to another Free for All on Friday in which we welcome any posts including those which are off topic (just as long as they remain within community guidelines), so please feel free to post anything which is on your mind, your pictures, what has made you happy, sad or mad.

A very warm welcome to anyone who has joined the community over the past week and I hope you'll find something of interest or comfort here, and please do join in with your own posts if you'd like.

Today I'm feeling really nostalgic. My daughter has just completed her last working day in the Metropolitan police force after 30 plus years of service, including one as a police cadet, back in the days when there was such a thing, and last night, when we spoke on the phone, I think I might have been the more emotional of the two of us.

As her mum I clearly remember the enthusiastic 18 year old who left home with such high hopes and ideals, all set to change the world. Of course she didn't manage to do that after all, but she made a huge contribution to society as well as mostly enjoying her long and active career in many roles and in several ranks.

She's now looking forward to a couple of months' relaxation before taking up a new role in safeguarding for the Church of England in a London borough, the sort of work she's been doing within the police force in recent years.

For me it's just endorsed how quickly the years have flown away and the many changes our lives have undergone in the meantime.

I always think that change is one of the bigger challenges we face in life. One of the greatest is how we care for our children, only to later find ourselves in reversed roles with our children caring for us.

The picture is a sketch which an acquaintance shared with me, (artist unknown), and which I thought instantly demonstrated how life suddenly turns around, with the carers becoming the cared-for.

I hope you've enjoyed a good week and that you'll be able to relax a little over the weekend and recharge your batteries.

25 Replies
sassy59 profile image

Good morning Callendersgal and all, we’re now the proud owners of a new Worcester Bosch boiler which was fitted on Monday. The installer adhered to safety measures and wore a mask etc. so we felt very safe. Now to get some decorating done. Such fun.

I do wish your daughter well in all she does as she continues her career outside of the Metropolitan Police Force. It sounds as if she’s had a great career with them which is wonderful.

Our son started his police career in his 20’s and is 43 now. He’s still enjoying it but will retire one day and maybe go back into the car industry. Who knows?

Time does pass so very quickly. I see that with my grandchildren. The eldest being 9 now. It was good to be able to celebrate with him and family.

The picture made me smile. So true.

Have a great weekend everyone and look forward to hearing from you. Take care all. 🥰🤗👍💖😜xxxxxxx

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to sassy59

Hi sassy59, Congratulations on your nice new Bosch Worcester boiler. I hope it'll give years of trouble free service. They are such a big outlay and we depend on them so much. Hopefully your son will have more years of his police career, but it's one of those careers that does allow for another new start when it's over. My daughter wavered between having another career and just getting a local job, maybe as a barista of all things. She loves her volunteering at a local church weekend cafe and felt that might be a niche for her, but after being so busy and having such a varied job for so long, she felt she might get very bored, so in the end she opted for something a bit more complex.

Hope you enjoy your weekend and that maybe you'll get to spend some of it with famiiy. Take care xx 👍😊🌸🔆

sassy59 profile image
sassy59Ambassador in reply to Callendersgal

Thank you Callendersgal for your lovely reply. I’m sure the new boiler will perform well.

Your daughter has a great future ahead of her I’m sure and she will keep busy. Out son used to sell cars before joining the Police force so it’s something he may want to return to.

I’m not sure what’s happening at the weekend but we might catch up with our granddaughter on Sunday. If not, we may see her on Monday as she has an inset day. Our daughter has taken up her Saturday job again at the estate agent she used to work for so she’ll be kept busy tomorrow.

Enjoy your weekend. Xxx👍🤗🥰😃

Sad days. My Mum passed away recently.She had been taken very poorly and I had gotten so used to her relapses and recovery it was a shock in many ways.

The last time we spoke she was still complain that she didn't need the carers coming in. She was so independent.

Jennymary profile image
Jennymary in reply to Lynd

Sorry to read of your news Lynd, I'll be thinking of you and all who knew your mum in the coming days and weeks x

Lynd profile image
Lynd in reply to Jennymary

Thank you Jennymary.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Lynd

I am terribly sorry to learn this Lynd! It's the cruellest of news, even if we half expect it. My deepest condolences to you. You must be feeling so sad at the moment. Thinking of you. 🙏

Lynd profile image
Lynd in reply to Callendersgal

It all feels a bit dreamy at the moment Sue. Had to do the resistration on line and on the phone. Had to order death certificates on line. Still not arrived yet as they have a backlog.Not been able to cry yet and I can normally cry at anything.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Lynd

Hi Lynd it ‘s understandable that you feel numb right now. The tears will come, I’m sure, when the time is right. I’m a great believer in just letting yourself feel whatever it is you do feel at a particular moment. To every thing there is a season! We can’t grieve to anyone else’s timetable but often people will try to make us feel we must.

There is a lot to do of a practical nature and maybe that’s what stops us from crumbling initially. Just be as kind to yourself as you can! 🙏

I'm finding this covid lifestyle very difficult to deal with now, I sit here in tears at times with it all, now someone is saying we can do away with masks on July 19 someone else says no we can't, when I moan to my sister about it she shouts at me saying I'm not the only one feeling like this, I've also got a really badly blocked ear at the moment which doesn't help.

I wasn't planning to go today but I had to go to my local shops and found myself heading towards the market, ended up getting 1 ginger and 1 apple cake, and some cherry cookies, I've still got a fruit cake and rhubarb crumble in the freezer from a, previous visit 🍰

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Jennymary

Hi Jennymary, I don't feel it's unreasonable of you at all to be feeling as you are. I too am prone to easy tears and the pandemic really has had its effect on me too. I am tired of all the false information, ridiculous speculation, divided opinion, fast-changing rules and the whole kit and caboodle. No you aren't the only one feeling like this but your feelings are valid and, in my opinion, better expressed than bottled. So find someone other than your sister who won't mind your having a good old rant. Rant here if you like. It's part of our function.At least there's food to lean on and I feel it's just as well. I am not open to anyone who tells me it's time to lose the covid weight. Perhaps I will one day and perhaps I won't. I'm doing the best I can and I'm sure you are too.

So enjoy your goodies and be kind to yourself. You deserve it! 👍😊

One day I was talking to one of my friends about how I had been told to lose weight myself and had said perhaps I could have benefitted from losing weight but it wasnt up to them to make that kind of decision!

He said how its not the point that perhaps I would have benefitted and says how comments about weight are rude no matter what shape and size you are!

I remember back in February one Friday when I felt put out as the weather was nice but couldn't go out to Penarth on Barry for the day like I had planned and then I had become ever so upset when someone else on here was on about their coastal walks and had found myself upset and crying as well.

Yes it's right that you're far from the only one feeling disappointed but that's not the point as you feel how you feel and it's understandable to be in tears as it's one of those things you can't control as it feels so frustrating and unfair!

Last Wednesday I had been due to have an interview for 11.30 that morning which never happened as their internet went down which I understood as things can happen that are beyond your control say like the car breaking down on the way to interview is or you get flu on interview day but you ring them to let them know and apologise and explain.

This outfit were not at all apologetic and were going to have booked me in for 1.30 that afternoon and by this point I was so fed up with them that I just burst into tears of anger and frustration and didn't want to talk to them at 1.30 due to how they had behaved so I withdrew my application and told them to forget about 1.30 as I was no longer interested in the vacancy and went out for my walk!

What upset me was their behaviour rather than the net itself breaking down!

My advice is take the whispers about masks with a grain of salt as the media tend to exaggerate and with them there's always something else added to these stories.

I'm OK now and I feel that the net breaking down that Wednesday was a blessing in disguise and yet again it was life telling me no that wasn't the place for me but it was distressing at the time though.

Lynd profile image
Lynd in reply to Jennymary

I will be wearing my mask,for a long time yet. Just be picky about where I go.This covid has put stress on us all.

Be kind to yourself everybody.

Catgirl1976 profile image
Catgirl1976 in reply to Lynd

Back in February when I was crying when I went for a walk round the neighbourhood I had a think to myself how I hadn't been hand picked to be disappointed and how others were as well like kids getting school stolen from under them and exams getting cancelled things that can't be replaced.

For myself what upset me was having freedom taken away in deciding what I wanted to do on free days.

Today sleeping in and a late breakfast was my own free choice as I decided on my own free will that today will be a quiet day for me.

I think masks will be around for a while yet myself.

Last September I learned a valuable lesson from an upsetting situation.

What it was was that I had just restarted the face to face socialising and then there were whispers about local lockdowns and Christmas getting cancelled and I had become ever so upset and crying as it felt like the world had ended when the autumn plans got cancelled but luckily they did get replaced in due course and done recently but still when blows strike they feel devastating at the time.

What I learned from that incident was not to listen to the government and their promises as it isn't worth upsetting myself over and when the blow did come and Christmas was cancelled I was prepared and wasn't surprised as back in September after that upset I had decided it wasnt worth making plans and upsetting myself so thankfully with that and the autumn ones I had lots of time to find something else but the poor people who had Christmas stolen from under them at the last minute didn't and I think it's worse when things are taken away last minute like Christmas was than if you have a couple of weeks to find something else.

I also feel that no experiences are a waste as long as you learn the lesson from them.

The only things that are a waste are those where nothing has been learned.

This week I have had some nice walks outside and this morning treated myself to a lie in and a cooked breakfast of salmon, scrambled eggs, tomato and a large mushroom which I really enjoyed, had an interview on Wednesday afternoon at 2pm and had a picnic lunch outside beforehand and turned it into a nice afternoon out.

Sorted out some more interviews for next week as well.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Catgirl1976

That all sounds good Catgirl1976 👍😀😻

One skill I have learned through all this is about turning disappointments into appointments even though the disappointments can feel like the end of the world when they strike.

Baby is well and has calmed down with the bad tempered meows over the heat.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Catgirl1976

Same with Kasar Catgirl1976 but he is still in summer mode and sleeping lots more than he does in winter.

An amazing drawing My week has been ok -although my riding was cancelled at the 11th hour this morning (25/6) -my instructor texted me to say she had to take a horse to the vets .

in a way she did me a favour because when i looked out of the window it was wrecking it down in Manchester & was considering phoning up & cancelling it myself

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Sara_2611

That was probably just as well then Sara_2611😊👍

Yes she did me a favour- Its not often I say that. I sneakily bought that revititive medic for knees (that one advertised by eamon holmes) -against the wishes of my mum -thank god i can pay installments for it

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Sara_2611

It looks interesting Sara_2611 but I know they are expensive, so I hope you have great benefit from yours. You must let us know how you get on with it!

What a lovely nostalgic picture Callendersgal 😊I felt quite sad reading your post as I feel life is passing more quickly with Covid about as time with friends and family is treasured even more. My eldest grandchild is now 27 and my youngest is 5 months old. My granddaughter (27) is to be Godmother to my lovely grandson Jacob!

I have had a lot of bad luck lately and I recently had lots on my mind and accidentally slipped my foot off the brake onto the accelerator outside my front door. 😳 The car has been repaired but I demolished the garage and it will take the insurance company months to sort out and rebuild it! 🥺🥺I was unhurt thankfully but in shock for days that I had done something so serious. Every day I have to look at the mess outside 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️I’m babysitting tonight for my grandsons so they will cheer me up 😀😀

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator in reply to Goldenanny

I think those nostalgic moments can catch us unawares sometimes and I agree that the pandemic does seem to have been speeding up time, whilst curiously putting us on pause at the same time. So sorry to hear of your run of bad luck and the car mishap. I always think it's vital to remember, when you have a bit of a prang, that if no-one's hurt, it's not so bad. Paying unexpected bills is never a happy moment, nor having accidents, but we can usually recover from the financial aspects, thank goodness. I think it's a bit sad that you have to look at the aftermath for such a long time until the garage can be rebuilt. It's like double punishment for making a mistake.

Sheer joy to be looking after your grandsons though. Happy day! 😊

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