Distressing news what's going on: My mum was... - Care Community

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Distressing news what's going on

vixs19
vixs19

My mum was taken ill while shopping and was taken by ambulance to hospital she had a very high blood pressure and when she arrived they took some blood tests and put her in a gown at 11 o'clock for a xray after telling her she had a chest infection and gave her some pills told her she could go home this was 5 o'clock she said when am I going to have my xray she was very distressed by this time by them telling her she might of had a stroke. By 7 o'clock she had her xray had said she could go 8 o'clock we got in. The next day she got a phone call from A and E saying she had something showing up on the xray and it looks like cancer. My mum was so distressed. I came back home from the shops to find her at my door in her night clothes crying. I managed to contact the doctors that had give her this news and he said the Same thing to me and she was going to be fast tracked. I don't understand what the hell is going on

9 Replies
Hidden
Hidden

I know that doctors and health workers are overstretched these days but fancy telling someone a thing like that over the phone!! Go along with her to her gp. They can talk it through with you. If she is being fast tracked, she will be able to see a consultant fairly soon and you will then know what questions to ask.

Please don't panic, cancer is not necessarily a death sentence these days and they have probably caught it early enough for treatment. We spend a lot of time in the cancer unit of our hospital and believe me, there are so many success stories.

Best of luck to you both.

vixs19
vixs19 in reply to Hidden

Thank you x

Callendersgal
CallendersgalAdministrator

Hi vixs19,

What a very distressing thing and on the face of it, a really unacceptable way in which to be given such news. But rather than getting bogged down in how this news should have been relayed to your mum, I would first of all deal with whatever needs to be done for her immediate health and welfare.

I completely agree with what exhaustedwife has said, both about what will happen next and in terms of the diagnosis of cancer.

If your mum is assessed as needing treatment, you'll probably be amazed at the numbers of people there are out there who are successfully going through it, so I'd join with exhaustedwife in saying, 'don't panic'. It's completely understandable why your mum did, but indeed there are so many successful outcomes these days.

The most important thing is to find out exactly what the problem is.

Very best wishes to you both.

vixs19
vixs19 in reply to Callendersgal

Thanks for the reply x

Hello vixs19,

I am very concerned about the way your mum has been treated! As a nurse, although I no longer work in NHS, I am very aware of the pressures the service can be under. But I'm shocked about the insensitive and uncaring manner she has been treated by the healthcare professionals. Empathy and understanding should be part of our DNA, and this shabby treatment is totally unacceptable.

I absolutely agree with exhaustedwife and callendarsgal, that first and foremost, you must attend to your mum's needs, and go and see her GP and discuss what has happened, how it has affected you both, and what happens next. Secondly, I would use the PALS (Patient Advice & Liason Service: nhs.uk/common-health-questi...), to formally complain about her treatment, and to insist that in future, your mum's medical team liaise with you first and that you must be present when discussing diagnosis and treatment options. If you don't already have this in place, it is worth setting up Power of Attorney (POA), which will give you some rights and empower you to support your mum , and for the medical profession to take notice.

The girls are right that cancer doesn't necessarily mean a death sentence. But you and your mum need to be fully informed about each step of the process from here on it.

Please try to stay calm, take a deep breath, I know it is difficult, and I would be livid if this happened to my mum. But you need a clear head, and write all your questions and concerns down, and write down all the answers they give you.

Keep in touch with us, we are a very supportive and empathic community, and there is a lot of collective wisdom here based on years of personal and professional experience.

Sending you and your mum best wishes,

MAS Nurse and Moderator

vixs19
vixs19 in reply to MAS_Nurse

Thanks for the reply yes I will be looking into this more. I have gone to the hospital to speak to the doctor that phoned her and it all seems its down to cuts and lack of staff and I have asked him to contact me in future as you can imagine I'm still in shock myself so it's great to hear your comments thank you

That if I may say so is a load of, to put it politely, rubbish.It takes no more time or staff to phone the right person than it does to phone the wrong one. They have your mother's records in front of them on screen and they know her GP and her next of kin. The NHS is under stress but treating patients like this , apart from harming the patients, causes trouble which takes up more time than getting it right in the first place. I agree entirely that there is no point in dwelling on what happened but it is too easy for staff to blame their own thoughtlessness on cost cutting and wash their hands of the problem.

vixs19
vixs19 in reply to FredaE

I agree with you I stayed in hospital all day with my mum and I gave them all my details and when she left she was told there was no problem. And they even showed me the xray of the infection. But when I went back to see the doctor after he told my mum by phone it looks like cancer. He said the infection looked suspicious and not in fact an infection in could be 10 different things. So why tell my frail mum it looked like cancer till they know for sure. My mum is on fast track and is having a scan today and results are on Friday. I'm so worried thank to you all x

I hate this cold calculated unfeeling way of telling patients bad news,it is heartless and devoid of any compassion,and dont they take into account that not everyone can take it.

It costs nothing to be nice and thoughtful,shame on them.

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