Mum's care - an update

[Jennymary]

Further to this morning's post, my sister had a phone call from the social worker earlier today informing us that the home are happy to have her and mum will be moved in next Wednesday.

I went into the home later, the manager has chosen her room, it's one in the main corridor where staff will be going past her room regularly, therefore able to keep an eye on her, the hospital have also faxed through to the home details on mums sugar levels which states that they are stable between 6 & 12, despite my sister telling the hospital time and time again it needs to be in double figures for mum to function on a reasonable basis.

We need mum out of the hospital but with all this do we move her into this home, which both my sister and I like, menus look lovely and I was shown an activity sheet. Any advice is gratefully received

[Hidden]

it's very difficult isn't it. We went through all this nearly three years ago. Do the activities actually happen? They don't in my mum's home, half the time the things on the sheet just don't occur. The manager who was at mum's home when she arrived was excellent. She was head-hunted and left, the one who took over was totally useless as was her deputy and almost destroyed the place before they both left together.. It has taken 3 new managers to get it back to what it should be. Unfortunately staff do move. It might be worth seeing how long this manager has been there and is there a deputy who would take over.

I think to some extent you have to go on your instinct and as you say you live nearby you can pop in and out all the time to make sure your mum is O\K

[Jennymary in reply to Hidden]

Hi Exhausted wife, thank you for your kind words, it's a new care home, only opened last October, our instinct is to go with it as we feel that, hopefully, the care home staff will get to know her better than the staff at the hospital. With regard to activities we haven't seen anything yet, but hopefully things will improve, mum's moving in on Wednesday so hopefully in a couple of weeks things will be a lot easier for all of us.

[jaykay777]

I would be glad the social worker was proactive and took steps to have your mum directly admitted to the home. Ask the social worker if/when you should tell your mother she will be moving to the home. When our social worker made arrangements for my husband to be admitted to a home, she advised me not to tell him until the night before the move. When I told him, he just said, "This will be the last evening I will sit in my recliner in our home.," but he didn't resist the move. From what you've said about the home, it sounds ideal.

[Jennymary in reply to jaykay777]

Hi jaykay777, mum's been in hospital since the day after Boxing Day, 4 months and counting, my sister and I will visit her in hospital on Monday, Tuesday, if she's up to it my sister will tell her that she's going to be moved to a care home on Wednesday where they can help her with her rehab. I'm hoping to go in Wednesday afternoon and then we'll see how things go

[Hidden]

Hi Jennymary,

Try doing what I did - I told my mother she was just going into the care home for a week or so to get her medication sorted out. After the week, I said that we thought she needed another week. At the end of that she was settled and content and said 'there's no point me going home now, is there'. I also didn't tell her until the last moment so that she didn't spend any time worrying about what it would mean. To be told that you are going into a care home is very worrying for elderly people as they know it probably means that they won't have their home any more. If she thinks its only temporary, she is much less likely to fret.