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Elderly grandparent showing signs of needing more help

My Nan is 88, lives on her own and used to be very able, independent and spritely for her age. Over the last year or so we’ve really noticed signs that’s she’s aging quickly and it looks like she’s going to need some home help in the mornings. She’s getting a little confused and has problems with her legs so has fallen at home a few times lately.

There are two questions for me.

1. How do I get my mum to take this seriously enough for her to start taking more action? She sees my Nan regularly and speaks to her most days. But when I talk to my Mum about this, I really get the feeling that she’s not taking it seriously enough.

2. Where can I get more info on the best way forward, to get help for my Nan?


8 Replies

Birdy1 -- Learn more about the dangers of falls and try to get your mom to understand what a threat they impose to your Nan. I didn't realize how dangerous falls can be until my husband, 76, died of a brain bleed four months after a fall that I had been told resulted only in a fractured femur. I learned about the brain blood from the medical examiner who autopsied his body.

I am 85 and fell twice on hard surfaces in the first half of 2016. Although CT scans showed I was not damaged, I realized it is not safe for me to live alone. I now live in an independent living facility where emergency medical help will be called if I fall.

I am in the U.S. and assume you live in the U.K., so I will let someone else respond to the best way to get help for your Nan.


I have relative who is 87, do not want to accept any for of help on offer. It is possible you mum may be getting information from your nan I am OK, do not want any help. I am sure your mum wants to help your nan but your nan may not be listening!

You have done the first step in looking for information to help your nan. Try and take your nan to her GP or get the GP to come home to do few basic tests and may be you need home help in the morning or for the whole day. You may be able to get a wrist band that do 24-hour monitor, the control centre can call people if they see any alarm or some activities.

First GP and then home care or home help, you have to make sure all the valuables are kept locked up. Watch your step.

Confusion and tendency to fall goes hand in hand this is because of slow reaction, I saw this with my relative in Singapore.

As you may have read there may be issues with home help.

Do you live far away from you nan?


Hi. Thanks for your reply. it's really helpful. I didn't know about the wrists bands, that sounds like a great plan and will make sure my Mum is aware of these. I think it's a bit of a two way thing with my Nan and my Mum, and a bit of stubbornness and concern thrown in too.

GP then for the first step, but will definitely look into that wrist band idea. That could be a great help.

My Nan is local and between me, my brothers and parents we really need to make sure that we're doing more.

Lots to think about!. Thanks again for your help.


Hi Birdy, As well as the wristband you can get a similar thing as a necklace that acts as a 'falls monitor'. It the person wearing it has a fall, the sudden drop sets off an alarm, the alarm centre will contact her ( a speaker attached to her phone) and if she doesn't reply or needs help it will phone one of you.


I have just sourced one of these home call services for my Mum - I got the 1st 8 weeks free of charge and it's only about £4 per week for the service. She feels safe and we have the peace of mind knowing she can reach us if she is in difficulty. She can wear her band in the shower which is great as this is a hazard area in her home.


First I'd like to say what a caring granddaughter you are, i hope your Nan appreciates you 😃 Is it possible to have a chat with your Mum about seeing your Nans Dr together about getting her help and support at home, it's a good idea to do it before anything happens like a fall which can come at any time with the elderly, be prepared , good luck


Hi. Thanks for your reply. Nest step for me is to make sure that my Mum gets a Dr's appointment with my Nan. I think my Nana has been taking herself off to the Dr's without my Mum being present. Although my mum talk to her most days and she lives local, as the Dr's surgery is in my Nans village she just gets on with her own appointments. Time to change that I think. Thanks again for replying. it's really helpful.



I think it sound like you need an occupational therapist to visit and assess how she is coping. they can recommend living aids to help keep your Nan safe in the home and if they think she needs help care wise they can make recommendations. I found details through my local council offices, are you UK based?


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