letter to donor family.

[NicharrisonMarch2022]

hi all. Hope everyone is doing well ?

whilst I’m still having a few complications since my transplant back in March 2022 I haven’t been in a right mind frame to write a letter or card to my donors family. I am so grateful for being giving this opportunity at extra years on my life, but I honestly don’t know how to put it into words, because I know that for me to be given this, they’ve had to go through a painful period theirselves.

of anyone can offer some advice on how to go about writing one, I’d be grateful.

I don’t want it to sound ungrateful, or even cheesy and over the top, but i would like to explain to them how grateful I am !

Thanks in advance.

[bagpuss7]

It's a tough one, but I think it's important to do it. I just offered profound and sincere condolences to start. Then I just expressed my gratitude in detail by talking about my 3 daughters and the things in their lives that I was alive to witness. I just then spoke of my immeasurable gratitude. There are no adequate or easy words, but I hope it meant something to them.( 2 years post now)

[Yellowsydney]

I sent a card at about 9 months post, it just felt like the right time, the words came and I found an appropriate card. I just said thank you, told them a bit about myself, about my children. You don't need to write an essay just a few words expressing your gratitude, you will know when the time is right, there is no right or wrong time to do it everyone is different, somepeople never do it some after a few weeks. I had a reply to my letter saying they thought about me all the time and how pleased they were that something good had come out of their mothers death.

If you use Facebook please feel free to join our friendly and knowledgeable group called liver transplant support uk, thousands of people that have been in your situation.

Hilary xx

[NicharrisonMarch2022 in reply to Yellowsydney]

Thank you, Hilary.

I don’t use Facebook, but thank you for the offer.

[taar]

I have found this post/thread has come at the "right time" for me too. When I right the letter/card, how do I get it forwarded as sppropriate-- do I write a covering letter to the transplant co ordinators at the QE Birmingham?

[NicharrisonMarch2022 in reply to taar]

Hi, my coordinator said to write a card or letter and take it to my next appointment, in an unsealed envelope and they’ll do the rest. I’m in the southwest so it’s got to go through the royal free in London.

Like the answers in this thread which are a great help, I’ve been told not to put any identifying information about myself, and write as little or as much as I’d like.

Hope you manage to get yours sorted. Like you say, you know when it’s the write time.

I just hope my donors family will understand how appreciative I really am.

[taar in reply to NicharrisonMarch2022]

Thanks for this, it is appreciated.

[bagpuss7]

I imagine so. That's certainly the way it works at my transplant hospital. They will redact any names or " give away" personal details for the safeguarding of both sides. So you can talk about family etc, but without names or addresses

[Nerico]

Hi, I'm sure I've seen; either on this site or the NHS guidance and advice for this. Alternatively, ring and chat to the Trust nurses, they will definitely be able to help.

[Kristian]

For those wishing to write to their donor family the following link should give you all the help, advice and contact details of where you can send the letter, card or email:

nhsbt.nhs.uk/organ-transpla...

This is the NHS guidance, so it's a trusted source.

The important point to remember, from speaking to members of the donor family network, is - it's never too late to write and it's really comforting for donor families to receive correspondence from recipients.

Hope that's helpful for everyone.

[taar in reply to Kristian]

Thank you, that is very helpful