One year on

[Paul120222]

Thought I’d give a little update on my ARLD journey. After 1 year of initial Fibroscan results which were CAP score 316 and 28.9 kpa elastography score, which shattered my world as it wasn’t expected.

My latest results after abstaining from alcohol, which I may say has been oh-so difficult after drinking was the norm for 40 years. Anyway the latest results were CAP 239 and 18.9 kpa, which thankfully is a step in the right direction, I think?

Bloods are normal, however, they have been normal for a year. They did find 3 grade 1 esophageal varices though.

I must reiterate what’s been said by many, you have to push hard to ensure you get treatment/ tests on time, as everything appears to be reactive. However, once you get treatment/tests it’s really good and the staff are always great.

So not sure what future holds, 6 monthly ultrasounds and blood tests I believe, oh and another check for varices in a year.

The abstinence from drink is so hard and I would love to have a social drink as said by many on this forum, but I know it’s a drug albeit sociably acceptable, hence there lies the problem, a pat on the back when you give up smoking, keep going you’re doing brilliant.

With drink however, you’re antisocial! there must be something wrong with you! What’s the point in going out! I wouldn’t bother! That’s the drinking culture unfortunately and hence that’s why it’s so difficult for all the people struggling .

Everyday is a challenge but I keep going and hope it will get easier and not feel like my life is on hold. I read the difficult posts and I feel so connected and sorrowful, that it drives me on. Thank you for sharing your journeys and experiences.

I have learnt a lot this year but have a lot of questions in my head which don’t go away.

[Bantam2]

hi Paul firstly well done for abstaining. You’re right it can be really hard and attitudes from others that you’ll never enjoy life again is all too common.

I though remember being one of those people who actually felt sorry for people who didn’t drink or thought they must be boring. Now I don’t drink I think this attitude was actually jealously that they didn’t think they needed a drink to enjoy themselves and they had freedom a drinker doesn’t. ( by drinker I’m referring more to those that don’t need alcohol to function in say a morning but more habitual where drinking after work without having days off.) Again you get the same stigma sometimes on forums where others will say if you feel a twinge of sadness that can’t have a drink you are an alcoholic full stop and worse ARLD cases should be behind others on TL.

You just have to be honest with yourself and others. Do I feel better now I don’t drink. Absolutely - freedom, sleep better, no brain fog in a morning, can remember clearly the ends of nights out etc. Do I miss it - yes, letting go of inhibitions, laughing at things that aren’t funny, being silly at an age you shouldn’t be. The difference is I’m starting to get the latter without the drink - my confidence drowning, I’m back with the banter and quips amongst friends only now I’m quicker and my husband says funnier.

I am definitely not anti-social because I no longer drink and wouldn’t dream of talking about how a friend is drinking and saying “I used to do that but it’s not good for you”. Who wants to hear that on a night out and you don’t need to tell them, they will already know. A lot of my friends have cut down on their alcohol intake or are at least having a 2 day break a week. Nothing I’ve said but knowing me they have just reached the conclusion themselves and thought Shit if can happen to xxx it can happen to them.

It’s all a massive change in lifestyle and you do feel like your life is on hold BUT it’s temporary. Stay positive thinking about all the freedom you will have once you have the TL and the additional benefits. One for me is booking my holiday in Cornwall later this year for hubby and my springer (he’s not had a holiday yet due to us needing to be close to hospital in case call came - that’s the dog not my hubby). This time we are booking a luxurious cottage much bigger and with hot tub, swimming pool, open log fire etc as put money I’ve saved on wine at home, restaurants, taxi fares in last 18 months towards it m. Amazing what you can get for your money outside st Ives - usually would have stayed in centre so both could drink but now I don’t, it doesn’t matter as I can drive. Plus we can explore other places that were awkward on bus or with a dog.

Take it from me the limbo now will be worth it in the future xxx

[BritishLiverTrust3 Administrator British Liver Trust]

Dear Paul120222,

We facilitate a range of virtual support groups for people living with a liver condition (and their families and carers) including an alcohol related liver disease support group.

If you would find it helpful to speak to others with shared experience, you can register to join a group here

britishlivertrust.org.uk/vi...

Best wishes

British Liver Trust

[Dogbot]

it doesn’t matter what other people say or think the main thing is that you are saving your life and as far as I’m concerned you’re bloody marvellous to go so long without booze because it is very hard work ( I know I done it) but keep going 👍. Your doing great, good luck in the future. It will pay off it has me 😀👍👏.

Stay safe All

Dogbot 🐶🌈Dave

[Tazzyguy1]

Hi Paul I totally can relate to your story,, very similar, great news your not drinking. Yes not easy by any means so don't underestimate your achievements, I'm in the same boat. After almost dying, I made a decision!!! A clear choice,and I'm not drinking, since I was diagnosed with Compensated Liver Disease. Get yourself some interests, hobbies. I found out I love all sorts and cooking which is handy.. I got late advice not given it basically, so I kept on eating as normal, landing me back in hospital but not so bad... I have good days and bad days,never plain sailing but what I can say is I'm glad to be sober and living, because I wasn't living before. Mere existing!!! Life is okay today, a lot of people really are great here. I'd be lost without this platform. I was watching lots of YouTube stuff,, screwed my head up a bit as serious stuff, my liver specialist nurse told me off for that. I've got another CT scan next month. Keep you all updated,, thank you for sharing your life with me and us because I need people like you/us to help me.Thanks again

Taz

[mozlaw]

being anti social means avoiding and shunning people . i dont i go to the puband tell that im not drinking to preserve my health but thats all. they understand and applaud my decision because they care and are real friends

[DD75]

Dear Paul,

Thank you for sharing. My husband had cirrhosis and has had TIPPS procedure and he's struggling with no alcohol as he has military ptsd and he used alcohol to help with mental and physical pain in kidney where tumour was removed 10 years ago (he only has one kidney).

12 years ago I drank alot to cope with my mother's death and my husband's cancer diagnosis at same time. And when I say I drank alot I mean 3 bottles of wine a day which in the end I went onto spirits occasionally.

The point is I haven't had a drink in 10 years this August and I'd be lieing if I said I occasionally wish I could social drink but tbh I don't miss it at all. My liver recovered, but before I quit drinking I was told that if I'd carried on I'd have serious health problems and my organs would start to fail. At the time this didn't particularly bother me as I was grieving and drunk 24/7 but I packed in because I looked at myself one day realised I was bloated, my eyes were starting to go yellow and I was riddled with non stop panic attacks due to the alcohol and I realised this was no way to live.

10 years on, I don't miss alcohol genuinely, I've had testing, stressful times, where in the past I would have drank to cope, but I haven't, because I just don't want to drink anymore. IT DOES GET EASIER I PROMISE. You're doing so well. Maybe try an alcohol support group to help you through the early stages of quitting, there should be other opportunities if AA is not your thing (it's not everyone's cup of tea). I don't go to support groups I did in early stages but I don't anymore as I don't need them anymore as I don't want or crave alcohol and haven't for about 9 years (although they are there if I ever do which is always good to know).

The social aspect of going out and drinking becomes a thing of the past and you go out for meals or go out for a brew and cake in the afternoon. Believe me, as you're probably already aware, through sober eyes the once exciting pub environment isn't so exciting it's usually sticky carpets, smells of stale ale and not as glittery as you remember 😉

Best of Luck you're doing great 👍 remember it does get easier.