Well got my husband to have a blood test and he got a phone call for an immediate doctors appointment. He has advanced cirrhosis and ascites but will not give up drinking and does not want a liver transplant. What can I get his doctor to do for him? He has an appointment already next week with the consultant.
Go appointment for liver damage - British Liver Trust
British Liver Trust
All you can suggest is some help to tackle the addiction.
Does hubby not realise what a horrible death he is facing with liver failure? It's not a nice way to go and sadly we have forum members who have watched their loved ones to the bitter end.
You're going to have to look after yourself through all this too because without sobriety his liver is only going to get worse and with ascites already it is decompensated and severely struggling. You are likely to see some really nasty things in coming weeks and months because sadly it isn't going to end well.
Not everyone with cirrhosis requires a transplant but the only way for hubbies liver to survive much longer is leaving the booze alone.
No one can sadly force this upon him, it has to be his choice, doctors can help with the detox process but can't make the decision for him.
I always feel hugely sorry for loved ones in the predicament you are, my hubby would do anything to regain his health but sadly it has been taken out of his hands due to it being a non-lifestyle related condition that caused his cirrhosis.
Take care of yourself.
Thank you very much and I am trying to get him to put his house in order if this is his selfish decision
As an ex-drinker, I find this is very upsetting to read, and it still saddens me I may well have put my wife through this if I’d carried on. The only person who can make a drinker quit is the drinker themselves unfortunately. Wishing you all the best. Hopefully what you wrote above will have the desired shock effect to make him think and realise.
Excellent reply from Katie. Dizzie, please contact Al Anon tomorrow they are an off shoot of A.A that are there specifically for friends or families of alcoholics and are there to support you. There are other groups online etc but al anon come to mind straightaway, they are very good and just being able to chat to folk in the same boat as oneself helps so much. You need to look after you. As for Hubby, he is heading for a slow, painful death, with frequent Hospitalisations and a gradual loss of his independence and dignity. By the time he realises this, he will either be too sick for a transplant, or they can refuse him on the grounds that they think he will go back to drinking. You must have 6 months sober before you can be considered even for the list. And yes, we know he says now he wouldn't want one anyway, I just hope his comments don't,t come back to haunt him. I really feel for you Dizzie, I feel for him, I was him a few years ago and came very close to totally destroying my body. I gave up drinking eventually and slowly began the journey of recovery, though I have been left with a damaged liver, and neuropathy I am so happy to be alive. I think hubby is depressed and wonder if perhaps before the consultants appointment you ought to have a private chat/visit with your doctor and explain how you feel about the situation. Sorry for the ramble! Posts like this break my heart as I know how desperate things were for me ( the doctor had written me off and said I was committing slow suicide and he wouldn't help........Thank God for a friend who didn't, give up on me ) If you feel your Doctor is not sympathetic then please change to another. And please, Call Al Anon, or ask at Doctors for support for you. I am not particularly religious but it is possible to turn things around even from the darkest depths, and every single day I say "Thankyou' under my breath that I,m here, I am so very fortunate. Best wishes to you both.
There's nothing l can add to what Katie and thehermit have said. As you know I have been through what you are having to endure and it's devastating. Sadly it really does look as though your hubby isn't going to fight and alcohol has won again and will take yet another life. My heart goes out to you.
Be assured the doctors are doing all they can for a man who really doesn't care what happens to him anymore and you can't ask more of them than that.
Look after yourself now.
Thank you for your support and it is GP day (sorry for the typo). I am having to drag him there because he thinks there is nothing that can be done for him anymore just let him die. The doctor will a) says stop drinking b) change his meds c) sends him straight to hospital d) does nothing. I may play the mental health card for my sanity. I will let you know x
Oh Dizzie, my heart goes out to you. You have already had great replies. I had a thought that if he gets hospitalised for the ascites treatment, they hopefully will detox him as well, and the doctors then might be able to tell him of the serious of his cirrhosis, and that the only way for a longer life is to give up the drinking. I dearly hope that he has a reality check for the sake of you and your family.
Morning Dizzie,, how are you feeling today? You have had some great answers from others, one thing i will add to it is, he agreed to have bloods done in the first place kind of shows he is still in there some where wanting some kind of help and hes willing to go to the drs. Will be interesting how he reacts to what the drs say. They will give him the usual you need to give up or you are going to die, say in front of your husband to the dr,, can you please explain how bad it will get in the end so i can prepare myself for it..you never know it might give him a wake up call. Let us know how it goes please...hugssss. not an easy thing to deal with especially if you have a stuborn one,believe me i know and understand...
Hi Dizzie you are in a situation similar to what happened to me in May I got my husband to hospital and they went to detox him but luckily discovered he wasn’t alcohol dependent so he has stopped drinking and realises how close he was. Things still up and down he has started to go a bit yellow and has some ascites again but we know it is a long road and we have just started. My husband by the time I got him to hospital was so very depressed he didn’t care even when they thought he had cancer but gradually he is starting to care. You may find the same with your husband he may feel so down and I’ll it all seems too much for him or he truly believes there is no hope.
Everyone has given you excellent advice and the support here is wonderful. Everyone one here understands what it is like you don’t have to explain. Do Male sure you take care of yourself easier said then done. Good luck
Thank you all for your support I am going to need it. Appointment did not go as predicted. GP was very sympathetic to his wish to die and suggested putting Advanced Care Plan in place (he had been on a course the day before). He gave us the blood results to take to the consultant next week and some antibiotics incase he developed an infection. Wait til next week.
I am sorry to hear the appointment did not go as you had expected or hoped for. The change in focus may be difficult to come to terms with. I know that you are receiving tremendous support from your fellow forum users and I have no doubt their support will continue. Do take care of yourself.
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