Something a little more light hearted . - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

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Something a little more light hearted .

Xenom0rph profile image
39 Replies

We are all very caught up in what we know is a serious illness and if we don't watch it we risk it all.

However allow me to supply you with an amusing tale that this morning cost me 9 hours trying to track down some mystery car electronic gremlin.

I armed myself with a multimeter, some interior trim removal tools and after checking that both the car and house were covered for fire damage off I popped to the driveway; daughter already shaking her head and told me "Daddy, this is a bad idea, you're not as technical as you tell mum you are".

I guffawed at her observation and got stuck in. Methodical, analytical and using power of elimination I checked every single fuse, each time I got a positive BEEP my blood pressure rose.

Long story short, none of the fuses showed any signs of failure. I even called BMW to ask them what fuse protects the telematics gubbins. They told me a fuse I'd already tried so I hung up and clearly they were liars.

DEFCON 1 now. Visible stress and an irresistible urge to torch it.

Must be a dodgy wire then. I got back to work dismantling the entire car, or so it looked like.

It wasn't until I was looking at some wiring diagrams I had a flashback to the BMW call and thought I'd check that fuse again.

Yup. You know where this went. It was if course blown. The photo shows what not listening to the professionals will cost you. In this case it was a 2 quid bloody fuse but NINE HOURS of farting about with something I clearly had no knowledge of.

Moral of the story can be related directly to our diseases. Trust the pros, it turns out they know what they are on about.

Check the photo for the chaos I caused.

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Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph
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39 Replies
alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat

Thought I was looking at a car crash here :-) :-) :-) I can only imagine your frustration! :-( :-(

My goodness man - what a mess! I hope you took loads of photos as you went along so you can see how each bit is supposed to look!

That’s definitely a case of illness hitting your brain! Cars these days are not like what they used to be that’s for sure! I remember the days of taking apart my 1960 Mini completely- everything including engine, subframe, brakes - well everything. Nowadays I resign myself to doing nowt on a car - very sad really. Instead I mend Scalextric cars 😀😀

Have fun re-assembling - if you get it right you deserve a few 🥇🥈🥉

This is a much more interesting post than some on here these days - so thanks for cheering me up 👍👍

Miles

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to

No worries. She is all back together now but I do have one interior trim screw left. I think I know where I missed it. That's for tomorrow.

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply to

There are loads more posts like this on you tube Miles

in reply to Laura009

Thanks laura but to be honest I’m not a big you tube fan! Showing my age I guess. 😁. Although if there are links to specific radio controlled model aeroplanes I’ll look of course - to a few anyway.

Miles

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply to

I agree we all want and need happiness but keep it relevant? It is afterall a liver health forum not an on line knackered car manual. But I am pleased that xenomorph used that to distract him from the sad loss of his mother-in-law hours earlier.

in reply to Laura009

Whilst I understand your viewpoint it is the first knackered car manual post I have seen on here since I joined nearly a year ago. 😁👍. My point is that we can’t always be doom and gloom all the time 😁

So imho it is indeed good for us to have different viewpoints as we are indeed all very much different people 😁👍.

Miles

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply to

Well we all know Xenom0rph is definately different people !

in reply to Laura009

Really? Please feel free to educate me by pm....

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to Laura009

Define different!

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall in reply to Xenom0rph

Hahaha 😃👍😁

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to Laura009

I guess the message was missed as you read it. And it was a very welcome distraction from the mayhem going in around me at the time thank you.

Can't win them all I guess, seems the post was appreciated more than just being about a "knackered old car". She would be affronted to be called that. :)

PEACE!

in reply to Xenom0rph

Glad that you have kept your SOH at this sad time for you xenom...

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to

My MIL would be furious if we sat around crying and trying to remember all the times where we had a good time Nd then descended into the what if's.

Kate50 profile image
Kate50 in reply to

Sorry if I’m speaking out of turn but that last sentence is a little bit rude and disrespectful to the many people who post on this site 🙁

in reply to Kate50

Hi Kate

You’re not speaking out of turn at all! It could indeed be taken outside of the context I meant it so I will edit it now!

Thank you for pointing that out.

Miles

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall

Wow, that is really amazing! 😮

in reply to Bootandall

And it was just a fuse - oh my!

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to

Yup. £2, 5amp. Sigh.

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall in reply to

I think I would 've gone def con 1 much earlier!! 🔥

P13jne profile image
P13jne

I hope your engine management lights stays off. Always tricky when you mess about with the electrics.

Wise words though, Jane xx

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to P13jne

Heh. No doubt, I love this car only marginally less than my child so undoubtedly it would get fixed regardless.

Huggy7614 profile image
Huggy7614

Think we need a picture of it all back together - just so we know the car hasn’t been hurt during the process!! 😆😆

Nice one!! Andy.

davianne profile image
davianne

Well done Xeno, at least you triumphed in the end 😁😁😁 I steer clear of fixing cars nowadays (mobility issue) ,but car electrics are a no no..... expect the unexpected 🤣🤣🤣. I used to design cars in my working life, but the body design, not the electronic systems. Thanks for an amusing post.

David

Rogerro profile image
Rogerro

Don't fret too much, I am a Laboratory equipment engineer, one of the "professionals" I can't tell you how many times in the last 30 years that I have manged my head against a machine when having taken it completely apart to find a fault, convinced I was right, only to discover a fuse or a power supply was the problem all along!! It happens to us all. Though these days I sometimes blame possible HE as the reason but really I know it was my own fault.

I hope that screw isn't too important, just the odd possibly irritating squeak.

Very brave though👍😁

in reply to Rogerro

You missed the opportunity about a screw loose there roger 😀

Danubian profile image
Danubian

What did Delboy always say to Rodney?

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to Danubian

This time next year we'll be millionaires?

in reply to Xenom0rph

Lol but not quite the right answer you plonker.....

Danubian profile image
Danubian in reply to

twosmiles - wot? have you changed your name? No - Xeno was correct! Lovelly jubbly!

Kristian profile image
Kristian

Hahaha, made me chuckle 🤣🤣🤣. But a valuable message too 😊

Xen

I liked the loose screw and Miles Plonker comment which I did pick upon and wrote a reply on, unfortunately my earlier message disappeared into cyberspace😡😡😡.

I'm a classic car enthusiast and have worked on numerous Mini's with my ex husband who was a Plant Manager/mechanic! I helped him paint spray my Riley Elf Red and White which had my name sprayed all down both sides which I use to race!😁.

We also taped up his mini roof into a Union Jack prior to paint spraying it! He also had a Lambretta too which he also sprayed both sides into a Union Jack too😁.

I've also helped him re build my engine which we craned into my 1967 Red MG Roadster! Over many years I've rubbed down numerous engine parts too which was a horrid dirty job! 😁😁.

These days I know bugger all about today's cars, all I do with my Audi TT Quatto is fill it up the oil and fuel, pump up the blummin tyres and wash it! 😣😣😣

My earlier days of racing and helping hubby build his stock cars have gone😣😣! I must admit the 60's and early 70's were great times !'

Depressed Trishi signing off as I miss those days 😁😁😁

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to

Aye, those were the days. The mess in the photo is a 2008 7 series which is a great car but when it goes wrong it does so spectacularly.

Never to late to get back on the spanners.

in reply to Xenom0rph

Ha! Ha! Spanners what are those? Sold everything including my crane in a divorce 20 odd years later as needed the money! I had to sell.my pride and joy to keep a roof over my kids head which was my 1967 MG Roadster which totally broke my heart in two ! I still miss it even today as it was immaculate in every way with a chrome boot rack/wire wheels and the soft top I treated every 6 months !

I would love to buy another but it wont be the same when you've re built it from scratch ! Hay ho ..😣😣

Nighty nite all! Hope everyones had a reasonable day health wise ? Not to much pain etc ....

Love Trish xxx

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to

Thanks trish. Been a decent day health wise actually. Hope you too.

in reply to Xenom0rph

Yes not bad to be honest! Keeping busy with the Sky Dive Preparations and Announcements and getting fit for jump/landing! 😊😊😊

Glad to read your days not been to bad !,

Bye

MM the only thing that would have worried me was when I was hit with a HE attack my phone became to hard to use! god know what would happen if was at the point of the car was dismantled.

Isabelle2 profile image
Isabelle2

Oh dear 😂😂😂

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